:: Life on Planet Dan-E ::

:: Job Search: Finally... ::

... I"m back among the ranks of the employed.

Now I just hope I'll make through training. More later.

Labels: job search, waiting

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 10:42 PM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: Job Search: Recruiting Help ::

This is how badly I need to a find a job and soon: my last post was a 1691-word treatise about cheeseburgers. This is what happens when you have too much free time and you’re bored senseless. I could probably write another post devoted to the shit we used to do around the restaurant when it was slow (at this rate, look for it Thursday afternoon). Just outta curiosity, how many of you actually read through the whole thing? What about the ones not from California?

I have a friend back in L.A. who's a recruiter. He offered to critique my resume and coverletter, as well as my interview skills after he found out what happened. He went through my stuff over the weekend and I also explained to him some of the hurdles I ran into during this job hunt. He said for the most part that I'm doing it right and that my resume is fine. It just needs a few tweaks to beef it up. Which is fine because I was worried it might require a complete redo.

Part of me thinks it's overkill to get this sort of help for a job that I probably won't even have at the end of the year but this level of frustration is becoming aggravating and I need to do something. It's also a good way to keep my mind focused on the task at hand because otherwise I'll be wallowing in melancholy over my situation and that's never good. I end up thinking too much and it invariably drifts to negativity and melancholy becomes despair.

The last interview was at a steakhouse in Downtown Miami It was a preliminary interview and lasted less than ten minutes. I wanna say it went well since not only do I have a some fundamental knowledge of steaks, I mentioned I knew they specialized in hormone-free beef. I told him I knew the farm where their beef comes from, and gave a brief description of other menu items. Afterwards, I sent him a brief thank you email. If I pass the first round they'll call me for a second interview sometime this week. I'm trying to stay optimistic and say chances are... 60/40.

I also have a interview at a very trendy restaurant on Lincoln Road this Wednesday. I’ve actually eaten there once and while I loved the meal, I never ate there again because the prices seemed exorbitant. I guess this is good thing in that as long as I keep getting invited to interviews one of them HAVE to eventually bite. Right?

Funny story: my recruiting buddy is also a huge baseball fan. Because of the numerous Latin players in the league, he jokes that if he played in the Majors, he would have changed his name to have a Latin twist, despite the fact that he's Korean. So "Eddie Sung" (not his real name) would have become "Eduardo de la Sung". He insisted on the "de la." We found it amusing and would even call him "Eduardo" every now and then. I even have him on my phone as "Eduardo de la Sung."

Last week, during one of my morning interviews I was filling out an application and pulled out my phone so I could get his info down as a reference. Perhaps due to the lack of coffee, I actually wrote on the application "Eduardo de la Sung."

It wasn't until I wrote down the number that I realized what I did. I couldn't help but laugh at it and left it as is. I called him later that night to tell him what happened which he found hilarious. It's too bad they never called.

Labels: frustration, funny words, interviews, job search

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 11:30 AM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: Double Double vs. Five Guys ::

You guys know how much I revere the Double Doubles from In-N-Out Burger. It's not just that it's something I grew up with, or that it's best damn fast-food burger ever, or that it's comfort food in a way that nothing my mother ever made could match (that last sentence would probably kill her, if not for the fact that she was already dead. And by "dead" I mean, "dead to me").

(The last two sentences were jokes, just so we're clear.)

I've lamented the fact that there's nothing like that anywhere out here in South Florida. It's not that you can't find a good burger, you just have to have a waiter or a bartender ask you about what cheese you'd like and what temperature you’d like your burger. Not that there's anything wrong with that. But sometimes I want to walk up to a counter, order my burger and fries and grab my own refills at a fountain and do it at a place not named McDonalds, Burger King, Wendy's, or Checkers. They finally opened a Fatburger here and while good, it's not the same.

That may have changed.

There's a baseball scout/writer for ESPN named Keith Law who also maintains a separate blog about food and entertainment. He travels a lot and writes up his scouting reports for ESPN's website. On his other blog, he writes reviews of various restaurants he visited when he's traveling. He's been to L.A a few times and has written glowing reviews of the place and proclaimed the In-N-Out the Gold Standard for fast food burgers, which is why he's also one of my favorite writers.

That was tested somewhat when he wrote about a place called "Five Guys" burgers. It's also a regional burger chain that's scattered up and down the East Coast. He ate there during a trip to Palm Beach during spring training and this is what he wrote:

"...it’s off the charts, and I'd rate it above In-N-Out in the fast food burger category. The fries are the key – hand-cut, like In-N-Out’s, but thicker, and a regular order comes with more fries than I could eat in a sitting. The burgers are thicker than In-N-Out's, of roughly equivalent quality, but because they only cook burgers well done, the patties start to dry out, which one can compensate for somewhat with extra ketchup, but it's not the same thing."

Off the charts? Perhaps but above In-N-Out? No way. No fricken' way. Impossible. Not happening. Especially not if you need ketchup to compensate for overcooked beef. And it's not my West Coast Bias talking. There are plenty of fast food places that try to copy In-N-Out but they can’t match the overall quality of flavor that a Double Double has. Fatburger is the perfect example. I dismissed it as reckless hyperbole.

Then I found out they opened a new location just off 36th and Biscayne, near the Design District where a new plaza opened up a little over a year ago. There's a Target there and I need to stop by anyway so this was perfect. I find out they also pride themselves on fresh produce, never-frozen beef, and the aforementioned hand-cut fries. Again, other places do this but with inferior results.

I walk in and I'm greeted to a nice, clean restaurant that would be almost sterile if not for the fact that there's a row of potato sacks that divide the lines from the dining area. Okay, it's different from the standard dividers but it also looks like they don't have enough storage space. On either wall is a haphazard array of posters and printouts with quotes from various publications (Washington Post, Zagat, etc.) extolling the excellence of Five Guys. I don't ever recall any In-N-Out Burger location (and I've been to plenty) ever having any posters like that because quite frankly, they don't need it. Strike two. However, the smell emanating from the kitchen is strikingly similar to that of In-N-Out.

I finally check out their menu and they do have a bit more in the way of variety. They have kid’s burgers, more toppings, and HOLY CRAP they have bacon! (If there's anything I might love more than a Double Double, it's bacon.) I'm tempted to order a bacon cheeseburger but I stick to the regular cheeseburger so I have more even comparison. I try to keep the toppings as similar as possible: lettuce, tomatoes, and fried onions. In-N-Out has their famous "spread" that's like Thousand Island but better, so I go for mayo and mustard (no ketchup). Other toppings range from sautéed mushrooms (nice), jalapeno and green peppers (very nice), A1 and BBQ sauce (ugh, really?), and relish (that's for hot dogs. I don't get the relish thing. Fatburger also does this and I just can't see it being that good on a burger. But what do I know. I'm unemployed.) I also get a regular order of fries. The Cajun style fries sound tasty but again, for comparison's sake, I stick with the normal fries.

I pay, get my order number and wait. I'm tempted to give them strike three for their prices (almost $11 for a cheeseburger, fries and a soda. For that, I could order TWO Double Doubles, fries and soda and have change left) but it's Miami and prices everywhere on everything have been going up. To be fair since I haven't been to In-N-Out in over two years so I have no idea what they charge now ($2.70 last time). The length of the wait is similar, which is fine since they cook oer order. I notice a large barrel of peanuts at the end of the line, which seems completely out of place, yet it makes sense to give people something to munch on while waiting for their meal. Of course I ate some.

They call my number, and I get my order. In a bag. Didn't I say it's for here? "Sorry man we don't have any trays." Really. "Yeah, you can just rip open the bag and use that." Okay then. I refill my soda, grab some ketchup and sit down. I open the bag and the first thing I notice is the smell, which again, is remarkably similar to In-N-Out. I pull out my burger and rip open the bag and lay it flat. I see the fries and Keith is right, there are a lot of fries here. They stuffed them into a cup about the size of a grande at Starbucks but there's so much left at the bottom of the bag that it could easily fill two. They also had a nice brownish tint instead of the pale yellow you most other places. I grab one and take a bite and... damn it's hot... and good. Disturbingly good. Eat a few more. Keith is right again... bastard. In-N-Out fries taste almost like you're biting into a baked potato, but with that deep-fried crispy goodness. These are similar but the thicker cut really brings out the potato flavor. I'm feel conflicted.

I unwrap the burger and I have to say, it was impressive. It's slightly bigger than a Double Double and there are sesame seeds on the bun. Crisp looking lettuce leaves, good-sized slice of tomato, and the onions look grilled to perfection. I take my first bite and... damn... this is awesome. I take a few more bites. Can this be happening? Something is actually going to sway my opinion? Did somebody actually one-up the benchmark fast food burger?

Well, no.

It was really damn close, however. The two beef patties were thicker, and being well done (they even have a sign behind the counter that states all burgers will be cooked as such) they were a little drier. It had that same pungent, beefy flavor you'll find in a Double Double but it wasn't any more so despite the thicker patties and the texture wasn't as good. The bun was fine but despite having sesame seeds, didn't provide any additional flavor and could have been something bought off the shelf at a Whole Foods. However, the lettuce, tomato, and onion were all fresh and the overall balance of all the ingredients was almost (and emphasize the "almost") perfect.

(By the way, if you're wondering how I could possibly do a fair comparison despite not having had a Double Double in over two years, it's because I've been there enough times over my lifetime that the taste will stay with me until I die. They probably made enough money on me alone that they could finally expanded as far east as Arizona. If I'd known I was moving to Miami in 2003, I would have doubled my efforts. Maybe even recruited some friends.)

The final verdict: well it's a toss-up. Five Guys does have better fries, thanks to the thicker cut and the fact that they use peanut oil instead of vegetable oil. (In-N-Out provides the option of Animal Style however, which is awesome.) As for the cheeseburger, it had that similar great beefy taste and overall balance of flavor, BUT the texture was off since the patties were well done. Don't get me wrong. We're not talking cardboard here. But I've never got anything less than juicy, flavorful burgers at In-N-Out.

So Five Guys has the better fries but In-N-Out has the better burger. And since we're talking burger joints here, the final verdict goes to... (drumroll)...

In-N-Out!

Shocker right? Honestly, I gave Five Guys a fair chance, and I wanted to like it, which I did and I'd recommend it to anyone. If by some miracle they opened up a place in the same city, you can't go wrong either way. (Or go to In-N-Out for the Double Double and Five Guys for the fries.) We're talking options 1A and 1B here. And I'm sure some people might disagree with my verdict (you dogmatic despots).

Last note: I'm glad that this place is located off the island and requires me to take two busses to get there because if they opened up on the Beach, I'd weigh 300 pounds in two months.

Labels: cheeseburger, double double, five guys, food, i'm a fatass, in-n-out

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 3:43 PM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: Freckles ::

I just remembered why I like girls with freckles. Maybe not the best example but, c'mon... that's good stuff.

I've mentioned that I like the show "Lost." And now you know why. It's not just because of the fascinating characters, intricate plot, and bizarre twists. (Well, maybe a little.)

Labels: boobs, girls, naked, whoa

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 2:48 PM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: Food TV ::

One of the things about being unemployed is that I have all this unintended free time and I'm constantly trying to find ways to fill my day. I'm usually gone during the day pounding the pavement till about four or five but what to do afterwards?

I usually don't watch much TV unless it's sports, news or Food Network related, although I usually have it on when I'm at home. Most of the series I watch like "Lost," "Nip/Tuck," or "Alias" is on DVD. I watched all seven seasons of "West Wing" on DVD. Right now? "Lost" and "Nip/Tuck" are already a few episodes in so there's no point in watching it now. However, I am an avid fan of Anthony Bourdain's "No Reservations" and "Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern." The Travel Channel usually reruns them after midnight so I catch it when I get home.

So when they ran a "No Reservations/Bizarre Foods" marathon it was perfect. I switched it on after I got home and vegged out. If you were wondering, yes I would actually try some of the stuff that they've had. One of my favorites was the episode in Mexico, where Zimmern went around trying authentic Mexican food, everything from fine dining to street cart fare. Some of the local fare involved crickets and worms and I can't believe it but the way they prepared it, it actually look appetizing. When he started scarfing down a taco made with pig parts, it reminded me of the stuff I used to eat back in Los Angeles. I've had tacos filled beef tongue, tripe, stomach, head, and even brain. Similar stuff from pork. I'm telling you, it's good stuff. The tongue especially would probably be enormously popular in the states if cooks could somehow got around the fact that it's a cow tongue.

Other weird stuff I've eaten is sea cucumber (ugh), various pig parts (good stuff if you cook it right), chicken and duck feet and head and other parts (ditto), 1000-year old egg (yummy), bird's nest soup (okay), chicken hearts (tough and chewy), fried stinky cheese (awesome and not that stinky), chitterlings, and other stuff I can't remember.

(True story: at my last job we sold two fish, a yellowtail snapper and a pompano, that were cooked and served whole. Head, tail, bones and everything. They're excellent. The pompano is my favorite and I eat it regularly. This one time, I was almost done dismantling my lunch and the New Guy dared me to eat the eyeballs. Not only did I eat the eyeballs, I picked up the head and started gnawing away at the meat, much to his disgust. Some people like them but every now and then we get a few who order them but request the head be removed. The cooks do this after the fish has been cooked. If this happens and it's slow I ask the cook to save the head for me, after which I take it in the back and gnaw away. My old manager once caught me doing this and he got angry - not because I was eating during a shift but because he wanted first dibs.)

There were several favorite Bourdain moments. One was in Vietnam, where he ate the local delicacy of whole cobra - still beating heart, blood, bile, innards, and meat - prepared in various ways. I'd be lying if there wasn't a part of me that was thinking "hmm... I wanna try that." He also has an infatuation with "street food." Imagine a hot dog cart or a farmer's market, except with food indigenous to that culture. Having grown up in L.A., where some of the best Mexican, soul food and hot dogs are from glorified stands that stuff hits home. There was also a recent episode in Scotland where he went to a Chip (fries) Shop and ordered deep-fried haggis and something called king rib. King rib is, in a way, kinda like our McDonald's McRib in that it's processed meat shaped to resemble a small rack of ribs. Unlike the Mcrib, where you at least know pork is the main ingredient, they weren't quite sure what goes into king rib, or even it there's any actual meat in there. Yes, I wanted some.

I also like his acerbic wit, whether he's talking about their culture, our culture, or is has misgivings about trying something new and frightening. It's especially fun when he talks shit about some of the more famous Food Network personalities. And I find it amusing that his diction and opinions are such that the network feels the need to lead into every segment of his show with a disclaimer. Good stuff.

Labels: eating, fish, food, TV, weird

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 9:32 PM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: Job Search: Following Up ::

I'm gonna stop numbering the "Job Search" title because it's getting demoralizing.

One of the most frustrating parts of this job search was the number interviews that seem like they went well, which ended with the interviewer telling me something like, "I'll call you soon to let you know what's going on" or "I'll call you to let you know when you can start training." Only to have those be dead ends.

If you remember my post from Day 2, I seemed optimistic at that time because out of the ten or so places I went to, two managers out of the three or four I talked to gave me those replies. Both were duds. Since then, I've had three other interviews. Two of them were the same result. One of them was the hotel and the fact that they at least got back to me, even to let me know I've been rejected, was at least a relief.

I'm racking my brain trying to figure out what I'm doing wrong. It's the way I've always been. If something goes wrong, my first thought goes to what I could have done differently. I wrote yesterday "I have a good work history, my references are solid, I dressed fairly professionally, I possess a resume and a coverletter (and my own pen), I have a firm handshake, I maintain eye contact during interviews, and I don't do drugs. But that's not enough."

It bothers me that I'm getting this type of flaky behavior from supervisors. They give me the impression that I'm hired; yet I'm not. It's either that or they just don't have the gall to let me know they'd rather go with someone else.

Maybe I should have sent a thank you note... hmm... maybe, but I don't think that would be a determining factor. Did they found out I got fired from my last job? Could be, but there's been a few people that got fired for showing up drunk or high on drugs, or getting into shouting matches with managers, things far more egregious than anything I did, that found jobs elsewhere.

Perhaps it's my follow-up calls? I called back to each one, trying to seem ambitious and eager for having done so, but now I'm wondering if I maybe came off as desperate. But wouldn't you want to err on the side of wanting to work? I don't know. I thought I was doing this properly and professionally but I'm missing something.

Labels: anger, frustration, job search, please just shoot me

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 9:45 PM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: Job Search: Day 12 ::

To follow up yesterday's post, I get to today's interview on time and the H.R. lady tells me that the people are in a meeting and if I could wait for about thirty minutes. Great, more waiting. I say sure, and she offers me a cup of coffee, which I gladly accept. I go to the lobby and sit for a couple of minutes before I walk outside to grab a newspaper while I wait. About forty minutes later, an older guy walks up and introduces himself. He's one of the restaurant managers.

We sit down and talk. He tells me more about the restaurant and asks if I have any questions. I rack my brain trying to come up with something intelligent to ask, since I already asked quite a few questions two days ago. I inquire about employee culture, service etiquette, business volume, and anything else that might sound remotely perspicacious. This interview is a lot shorter than the other two and he tells me that someone will call within the day. Cool. I think.

I got home a little while ago and when I checked my email, there's one from the hotel. That was fast. I click it open and this part stands out:

"After careful consideration of your application, we regret to inform you that you have not been selected for this position."

Oh. Ummm... Fuck. I call the hotel and ask for the H.R. director. I cordially ask her why I was turned down. "You lacked the enthusiasm and motivation we were looking for." Huh? "We're looking for someone who displays a little more enthusiasm and the desire to work here." It had nothing to do with my work experience, my work history; it wasn't because you called my old place and found out I was fired, or my references didn't give me a glowing enough recommendation... you turned me down because I'm not enthusiastic enough?! "I see. If you don't mind giving me a little advice, what could I have done exactly to make you think differently?" I ask. "You just needed to show more enthusiasm and energy." So I should have drank more coffee before the interviews? I have this weird feeling that there's something else and she either can't or won't tell me, but why not? I'm been nothing but professional and cordial this whole time, and I'm asking for advice, why hold back? "Well, thanks anyway. I appreciate your time."

After I hang up, I put my heads in my hands and let loose a pretty loud roar. I pound my desk a few times. My cat freaks out and runs into the closet. Every interview I've ever been to, I always try to pass myself off as amicable and professional. If anyone ever asks me to point out my strengths, one of the things I mention is that I'm even-tempered and have a generally relaxed personality. It never once occurred that it might work against me. I have a good work history, my references are solid, I dressed fairly professionally, I possess a resume and a coverletter (and my own pen), I have a firm handshake, I maintain eye contact during interviews, and I don't do drugs. But that's not enough.

Then again, I did write yesterday that I had the feeling that the hotel job might bore me. Maybe that got conveyed unintentionally. When informed of my earning potential, which was a bit less than I'm used to, I may have had a negative reaction that I didn't realize. I do remember asking several questions about picking up night or bartending shifts as a way to show I can do more that just wait tables, but they might have taken that as a lack of desire to work in the morning. Maybe it's because I didn't sleep well last night. I'm not outgoing, and I'm not the most outwardly expressive person. To be completely honest, this has been a point of contention with a few people in the past, including my former employers. I don't know.

At least I don't have to cut my hair.

Labels: anger, introspective, job search, waiting

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 12:40 PM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: Job Search: Day 11 ::

My interview at the hotel seemed to work out okay since I got a call today for a second interview. It's one of those posh hotels on Ocean Drive that has a restaurant out front. I knew it was posh because the first time I walked in, I noticed a medley of oddly colored and shaped furniture in the lobby. There were also a guy and a girl at the door, whose sole job responsibility was to open the doors for people coming and going.

That and a while back, I went there with a friend to the bar at the terrace and had to pay eight dollars for a damn Newcastle.

It's owned by a hotel corporation so the multiple interviews wasn't surprising. What was surprising was the sheer number of people I had to talk to. Just for a job as the morning waiter (which, I have to admit, from the way they described it, the job might bore me. But I'm trying not to be picky. I just want to work.) There's the guy who called me both times who I think was one of the hotel H.R. directors. The lady who interviewed me (who made me wait almost ten minutes) was I think either another H.R. person or a manger I'm not sure. I talked with her about fifteen minutes and tried not to be distracted by the fact that she was a tiny, somewhat attractive Asian woman (even though her last name was "Brown" which threw me off) with a Southern accent.

Once we finished talking she told me that I'd be talking to another guy who actually works at the restaurant. Oh, okay. I wait for another ten minutes and I look over one of the more curious pieces of "furniture." I'm honestly not sure if it's for sitting on, putting your feet up, or some kinky sex furniture for weird positions. I spent the next three minutes imagining the possibilities until the guy finally comes down (and I tell myself if I get hired, I'm gonna steal one of those things).

The guy who turns out to be the Wine and Liquor (I think that's what he said) Director and he has a light Boston accent with a little bit of a lisp. We talk for another fifteen minutes and he gives me a more complete description of the restaurant as well as my job responsibilities (I know for sure I'm going to be bored) and asks questions about my work history, which he seems impressed by somewhat. I answer whatever questions he has (though I may have left out the whole thing about getting fired). We finish up and he tells me that he's going to have me come in for a second interview so I can talk to the restaurant manager, the restaurant H.R. guy, and I think he mentioned something about Emeril, I'm not sure.

I figure I at least passed the first round of tests so it's a good sign, I think. (Though I've been through this crap before and nothing happened so I'm not getting my hopes up.) I look at my clock and it's almost eleven.

I walk around some more and fill out applications at a few other place and get more of the same (we're not hiring but you can fill out an application). I talk to a few mangers, I get a possible lead, but as it is, this hotel restaurant seems my best bet. I just hope they don't make me cut my hair.

Labels: hair, job search, please just shoot me

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 11:29 PM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: So what Happened? ::

Not much really. I show up five minutes late. I greet Elly the bartender and like always, she leans in for a kiss on the cheek. She's been working there for a couple of weeks and she may or may not be flirting with me everytime I go there. I can never tell with female bartenders. I order my Yeungling ($3 a bottle!) and start playing some pool.

Pool Girl shows up an hour late, and it's not just her: it's her and six of her friends from school. Which is fine, I guess but I guess she misunderstood my intent when I asked her out to shoot some pool. Also odd is when I saw her earlier, she was wearing jeans and a black tank top, similar to what she wearing when I first met her. Now she's sporting a grey tank top and an attractive skirt while everyone else has the rumpled look of people who left a twelve-hour lecture. I stop thinking about it and return to my game.

We have a few brief chats, she tells me about her tattoos, and I find out she loves sharks. I meet a few of her friend but their energy is subdued. Maybe they did just leave a long lecture, I don't know. I lose a game and join them at their table. It's dead and I feel awkward. Remember Joe? There is something between them, though I can't figure out what. Every now and then she slinks off to talk to him about something. There's minimal contact, no forlorn looks, no affectionate glances... I can't get a read on them (though I'm still pretty sure I can take him). It's then I decide this is going nowhere.

She returns and says that we're moving the "party" (her word) to Zeke's Roadhouse. I love Zeke’s but this isn’t the night. As they leave and I tell her that I'm calling it a night. She looks surprised and tries to drag me along but I decline.

"Well, okay but call me, alright?"

"Don't be late next time."

She smiles, waves, and leaves and I'm left wondering whether to initiate a next time.

I walk to the bar to pay my tab and talk with Elly while I pay. I don't remember exactly how but we exchange phone numbers, agree to meet for coffee, which should have been a good thing except I'm pretty sure said something about having a boyfriend a while back. Maybe I heard wrong. Maybe they're about to break up. Maybe I need to stop going to dive bars.

Labels: bars, Beer, Dewey's, girls

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 12:46 AM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: Job Search: Day 8 ::

I did some pavement pounding yesterday and dropped off at least eight or nine more resumes and filled out almost as many applications. Nothing really solid, since almost everyone told me something along the lines of "we're not hiring at the moment" or "our staff is full right now" followed by "but if you want to fill out an application, we'll keep in it on file and call if anything comes up."

One hotel I went to told me they don't take paper resumes (wtf?) but I can fill out an application on their website. I figured what the hell and I started that around noon. As it turns out, that place is owned by a multinational hotel company and this was their corporate application site. It wasn't just a simple case of filling in the boxes and checking the box that says I've never been convicted of a felony (Explain: Umm, great lawyer), as there were a series of questions and a survey that took half an hour. Which was fine since I didn't have anything else to do. (I could have just picked my nose but I'm a great multitasker.)

I need to print more cover letters and resumes so instead of going to Kinko's, I head over to my old school to use their printers. I hadn't been there in over a year and there were so many changes that I spent some time both trying to find the computer room and downloading the proper drivers. Around 3:30, I get a phone call from a number I don't recognize. Hoping it's one of the restaurants finally calling me (to tell me that they desperately need my services because I'm awesome) I answer eagerly.

It's that hotel.

That was fast. They must really need someone. We talked about ten minutes discussing several points about my experience and what would be required of me at the restaurant. Being corporate, it was one of their H.R. guys that went through my resume and called me to schedule an interview. So as it stands now I have an interview next Monday at 10:00am. Wish me luck.

Oh, there's more: While I was printing out my stuff, I ran into a girl that I met at Dewey's a couple of weeks ago. That meeting alone is worth a blog post (I'm surprised I didn't blog about that night). I'm sitting on the couch, she turns the corner, we make eye contact and each say a surprised "hey!" She's on her way to class so we chat only briefly. I get her number, and make plans to shoot some pool tonight at ten... because I'm awesome (I'm gonna keep typing that until I actually start to believe it. That could take a while.)

Considering my recent fortunes, I'm betting 50-50 that she's going to flake and not show up but then again, she might show up and have a lot of fun right?

I should mention this: I'm posting this at Taste Bakery and manager who's been working there as long as I've been going there just gave me a bag of cinnamon rolls to take with me because she didn't want to throw them out. If you know anything about me the only thing I love more than food is free food. This is a good sign.


EDIT: 7:35 - I just saw her at Starbucks. I came here after Taste closed and just walked in to get some coffee. (I think she's stalking me). We talked very briefly and I noticed she had two cups and made a (lame) joke about caffeine addiction. She said the other one's "for Joe." My first thought was, "who the fuck is Joe? Boyfriend? Study partner? Maybe a bisexual female friend whose full name is JoAnne?" (I have an active imagination.) Anyway, says I'll see you tonight and leaves. I see her with Joe, who's a tall, lanky, dorky looking guy with glasses. I think I can take him.

Oh yeah, I can't believe I forgot to mention this the first time: this girl and I have the same first name. Whoa, déjà vu .

What do you mean I'm thinking too much??

Labels: girls, I'm an idiot, job search, whoa

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 5:55 PM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: Baseball and 'Roids ::

Have you guys been following the deposition of Roger Clemens at all? Me neither. You'd think that with my love of baseball, I'd be keeping close tabs on this but I think it's a colossal waste of taxpayer money, manpower, and airtime. Forget the argument that Congressional resources could be redirected to something more pertinent. Baseball has already implemented rules, tests, and penalties to try to prevent future steroid and HGH use. It's not perfect, more could be done, and more is being done but it's a considerable upgrade from the "don't ask, don't tell, just make sure you get me some of that" policy of the recent past. And it certainly didn't need government intervention.

Henry Waxman and his cronies just needed a pointless outlet to wield their Congressional Powers (what I really think happened was that Clemens declined his request to play for his Democratic Majority Softball Team; I hear they're getting tired of always losing the Republicans... that's just what I heard) and we're inundated with updates on a pointless tribunal that borders on theater.

My only real thought? I had no idea that "misremember" is a real word. Who knew?


Edit: I forgot to mention, Clemens doesn't know what "vegan" means. Sad, yet in a weird way I kinda like that about him.

Labels: 'roids, baseball, funny words, sports

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 1:45 PM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: Sounds about Right ::

Your Candy Heart Says "Get Real"

You're a bit of a cynic when it comes to love. You don't lose your head, and hardly anyone penetrates your heart. Your ideal Valentine's Day date: is all about the person you're seeing (with no mentions of v-day!) Your flirting style: honest and even slightly sarcastic What turns you off: romantic expectations and "greeting card" holidays Why you're hot: you don't just play hard to get - you are hard to get

What Does Your Candy Heart Say?

I may be a cynic about my own love life but I'm happy for people who are able to find what I haven't. If you're in a relationship, I wish you much happiness, and not just for today but.

BUT for you fellow single readers out there who either dread or are indifferent to today's proceedings, let's celebrate National Singles Awareness Day together. It's for real! There's even a card! Later tonight, pour yourself your favorite drink have a drink with me. As for me, I'm gonna pour myself a good-sized shot of good scotch (I prefer a good Islay scotch but I finished that bottle last Thanksgiving. I do have an excellent bourbon but I'm gonna save that for when I might actually have female company... which means I'll never drink it) and sip it while watching "Caddyshack."

What are you going to be drinking?

Labels: alkie, drinking, online quizzes, rants, whiskey

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 1:28 AM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: Job Search: Day 5 ::

Nice thing about being unemployed is that I have a little more free time to myself. And one of the things I realized is that even though being fired sucks, I've been happier... sort of. Oddly, I've been waking up earlier than my usual crack of noon. I breathe easier. I feel more relaxed. Instead of counting down the minutes till I have to go to work vegging out in front of the TV, I've managed to keep myself busy. I'm usually pretty good at evaluating my own moods and I knew I wasn't happy at my old job but I didn't think it'd be quite like this.

That said, to be completely honest, if they called me tomorrow, to come back to work I'd probably say yes Why? With Valentine's Day and the Miami Boat Show coming up, it's going to a very lucrative weekend. That’s it, nothing more. I don't have any attachment to anyone (other than My Buddy Chuck and The Hostess – and even that’s tenuous) or anything there.

My buddy Chuck (who would have legally changed his name to "My buddy Chuck" if I stayed there) called me the night after to see how I was doing. Even he thought it's probably for the best because he noticed my discontent and pointed wondered if might be because one of my old managers left. It did cross my mind in the past he may have a point.

Randy was a good manager and he took care of me. He never showed me any favoritism but he made sure I stayed busy. He wasn't a cupcake either because the few times I screwed up, big deal or not, he was never shy about voicing his displeasure. The manager who took over his spot isn't a bad person but she's the owner's lackey and clearly favors certain guys. It never got acrimonious between us but we never had the same rapport that Randy and I did and at times there was an uneasy tension between us. There was certain culture and a set of unwritten rules unrelated to my actual job responsibilities that I never bothered trying to conform to and that didn't sit well with some my superiors.

Anyway, Chuck also said half-jokingly that maybe I was trying to get fired. "Why do you say that?"

"This one night, I overheard you say something like, 'what the fuck do I have to do to get fired from this place.'"

"Which time was that?" "Hahaha. I know you and I know when you're joking and that time, it didn't seem like you were joking."

But the weather today has been dreary and my mood has matched. Last week I spent roughly eight hours filling out applications or dropping off resumes and came home with two solid leads. Both managers I talked to said something along the lines of "I'll call you Saturday to let you know when you'll start training." Not wanting to test fate, I still went to other places, just to be sure. Nothing. I called both places as well as a couple of others to follow up. Nothing.

I would have resumed my search today except for the rain and I couldn't find my umbrella (which is so lame). Hopefully, the weather will improve tomorrow, or maybe one of the places will finally call. Either way, I need to get back out there in the morning and find something soon.

If you're wondering why I'm not more focused on my advertising job, it's because I need money now. Well, back up. First, I need to finish my book. Then once the book is done, I need to send it to a printer and have it printed and bound. I heard from virtually everyone I talked to that the interview process can be protracted and would test even my patience, and that being the case, I still need to pay my bills. And as it is now, I've lost about a week's worth of income and I'm not sure when my next check will be here. Fortunately, my bills are paid up for the month and I have food and beer left in the fridge, but still.

I ended my Day 1 post with "I can't wait." I'm going to amend that and say I can't stand waiting like this. I need something to happen now.

Labels: in a rut, introspective, job search, waiting

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 7:53 PM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: Job Search: Day 3 ::

It's just past midnight, and I never got a call from either place. Can't really say I'm surprised but I think I knew this would happen. I'll give them till the early afternoon tomorrow and see what's up, but there isn't much point in going back out till Monday since managers, for whatever reason, hate doing interviews during weekends.

Still, it seems like I'll do better this time around than I did two years ago, when it took me over two months to find a damn waiter job. In South Beach, land of a million bars and restaurants. Considering I'm a U.S. Citizen that speaks fluent English and possess at least a modicum of a work ethic, I'm still baffled as to why it took me so long back then. I'm guessing the owner of the Irish Place simply forgot and she'll get back to me soon. I'm not taking anything for granted. I'm sure I'll be okay.

On the way back home yesterday, I stopped by the Fatburger that just opened up here thinking a little comfort food that reminds me of home might do some good. The first bite my Kingburger is just awesome. They're not as good as a Double Double from In 'n Out. And while I love those thick steak fries, I still miss In 'n Out's fries, especially when it's served Animal Style. (By the way, I'm making that last photo my Wallpaper.)

Luxuriating in my meal, I start thinking about the last couple of days and realize that I've been approaching this job search like a long-term thing. One of my resolutions was that I'd have my "real" job by summer. I do need this "temp" job to hold me over so really, it shouldn't matter where what or where I work, so long as I have a steady income. Yet, I've been going to certain places instead of others specifically because they're looking for bartenders. I wrote a while ago that I could see myself doing that for a while at a good place, that was for later on, if the ad thing didn't work out. I did apply for a few server jobs just in case but really, it shouldn't matter. This is supposed to be temporary, right?

So what am I doing, really? I haven't given up on my advertising job, or else I would have stopped updating my book. I do enjoy bartending, but that's not why I came to Miami. But am I going that route because it's really what I want to do, or is it just because it's the easier thing to do? What's my calling exactly? Hard to say. On top of that, later that night a friend left a well meaning comment addressing exactly that.

I wrote last night that it's nice to have options but sometimes those options will affect the rest of your life.

I spent most of today cleaning out my apartment from top to bottom. Amazing when you can accomplish when you have some unintended time off. I vacuumed the whole place, including the closet, and even the dust bunnies off the ceiling fan. I scrubbed the floors, the bathroom, the toilet, sinks, stovetop, and even the inside of the pantry-like thing. Then I pulled out the Swiffer and did the floors everywhere. I went to the laundry to get my sheets and other miscellaneous objects cleaned. But just before I left, I sprayed the whole place with a healthy dose of air freshener.

While cleaning, I made the decision that I'll take whatever job’s a good fit and once I get settled in, focus my efforts on finishing my portfolio. I have the rest of my life to bartend. I this is something I need to do now. (That's what I keep telling myself.)

Labels: bartending, comments, double double, food, in-n-out, job search, waiting

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 12:10 AM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: Job Search: Day 2 ::

Days since I've been fired: 3
Applications I've filled out: 8
Resume and coverletter revisions: 2
Hours spent outdoors walking from restaurant to restaurant: 8
Liters of Diet Coke and ice water chugged to stave off dehydration: 6+
Possible dead ends: 3
Possible strong leads: 2
The possibility that I'll have two job offers tomorrow: Priceless

My first stop today was at the Irish place I mentioned earlier. My buddy apparently put in such a strong recommendation that the interview almost seemed like a formality. After I told her I could start immediately, she told me that she'd call me Saturday as to when I'd be start my training.

Everything happened so fast that I barely had time to celebrate. I didn't get to ask many questions, nor did she ask me about my strong or weak points. Which leads me to believe that unless I blow the doors off the place, I'll look bad and my buddy might lose credibility. Nothing like a little pressure, right?

Still, I wanted keep as many options open as possible so I went to another hotel Open House on Ocean Drive. This one was considerably more organized than the last two I went to, which was a good sign. I fill out my application and waited around for my name to be called. And waited. And waited. I noticed a woman who showed up after me get called in for the one on one so I wondered what was up. I realized then that maybe I should have handed the application back after I was done with it. Oops. At least the lady running Open House had a sense of humor about it.

It was warm so I grab a bottle of water for us and wait. While I'm waiting, I see a guy wearing his cook’s uniform walk up to the manager and ask for an application. He turns around and it's a guy at my old job. Did he get fired too? Wouldn't surprise me. I talk to him for a little bit. He's there to get a second job and make a little extra money. That's cool. I wish him luck.

A tall blonde woman wearing a pantsuit walks over the our area and asks, "is there a Dan... E, here?" I get up, shake her hand and she leads me inside where there's air conditioning. We go through the interviewing motions, and it vaguely reminds me of my experience getting interviewed at Starbucks. She asks me various questions and takes notes of my answers. She tells that it's a very corporate environment and that I would have to cut my hair and shave my goatee. My first though was "umm, yeah... bite me." My actual response, was "If that's what it takes, it won't be a problem." Especially if this place ends up hiring me for whatever reason, nothing else comes through, and the choice is cut my hair or move back with my parents, then hand me the sheers. A question she asked me was what makes me different from our other applicants.

"Well, I'm not some actor/model/promoter wannabe looking for something on the side till I get my big break. I'm here because I want to work. I have a strong with ethic, I show up, I'm always healthy so I never miss a shift. I'm even tempered so I won't freak out if it gets too busy. And I'm friendly without being overbearing."

"I see."

"Oh, I don't do any drugs."

She smiles at that and makes additional notes. "That's good to know, especially here in Miami."

There are a few more questions, and I ask a few. Afterwards, we shake hands again and I leave. It was only two interviews so far but it's been productive so far. I'm going to be okay. Just to make sure I have as many options as possible, I stop by a couple of other places and drop off my resume before heading home.

I feel pretty good. Two days, eight places, and two solid leads. I think I'm going to be okay.

Labels: drugs, job search, moving on

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 5:38 PM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: Job Search: Day 1 ::

Today was my first job hunt in about two years and considering just how well it went the last time I wasn't really expecting much.

After I got home last night, I sat in my chair for a minute, still a little numb. Oddly, I wasn't worried about my finances or my living situation as much as I was wondering what The Hostess is going to think once she arrives at work and discovers I was fired. Stupid, right?

Anyway, I snap out of it, and start typing out last night's post. It's about 7:20 and I decide to go play some tennis to blow off some steam. So far, my mental state has gone from shock (I'm fired? Over that?) to denial (they'll call me in a couple of days because they'll be short-staffed) to acceptance (whatever, I'll be fine. I started hating that place anyway). But while walking to the park, acceptance slowly boiled into fury (if they're going to fire me over that shit, fuck them). During warm-ups my first few forehands flew to the back of the fence without bouncing. As much as I tried, I couldn't get that day's events out of my head and it got to me. Bad shots seemed that much worse, near misses didn't seem close, and even my good points made me angrier (why can't you play like that all the time you hack?) It's a miracle I never had an ulcer. Oddly enough, that anger seemed to fuel my inner Federer and I actually played well, considering.

I come home and take an extra-hot shower hoping it would clear my head. I sat at my desk, opened up my resume and begin updating it. I finish, move on to the cover letter, finish that, and head over the Kinkos. Then I check out Craigslist for any possible leads. An Open House at the Raleigh Hotel looks promising. It starts at noon, which is perfect. It's located up on Collins and 18 and after, I can make my way down Lincoln Road and see who’s hiring. I'll grab a New Times (new issue every Thursday) on the way over and see what they have in the back.

I leave and walk briskly towards Washington. Two blocks away, I realize I forgot to bring a pen. I don't remember if I wrote about this, but many times at my last job, applicants would often walk in asking for about work in less than professional attire. Many times they wouldn't even have their own pen, and several waiters took the liberty make a note on the application regarding that error. I never did that but I found it annoying.

And now here I am without a pen.

I stop by LeeAnn drugs and buy a nice Pilot rollerball and it was the best $2.50 I spent in a while. Once at the Raleigh, I walk up to the counter and ask about the Open House. The desk clerk gets a pained look on his face and tells me that someone other than the hotel posted the ad as a prank and that there is no Open House. Okay, what the FUCK. "Are you still hiring?" "Yes, you can fill out an application and someone from human resources will review them." Fine. I take my application outside and fill it out in the patio, enjoy the warm weather and the cool breeze, while wondering what the hell my immediate future holds. When I walk back inside, the lobby is filled with applicants and the poor clerk's look went from pained to constipated. I staple my cover letter, resume, and application together and turn it in, then turn to the lobby to get a look at my "competition." It's mostly guys, and most of them showed up wearing jeans and T-shirts, and a few are sporting caps. I only notice two other who brought separate resumes. There are a couple of girls, one who's dressed professionally, and another who looks like she's about to clubbing, sporting some very nice cleavage. It's then I think to myself, "maybe I'll be okay."

The only thing I've had so far that day was some grapes and a can of Rockstar. I'm more thirsty than hungry so I go to Burger King to with my New Times, grab a soda, and see what's available. There's a few promising leads and I tear out the pages and head to stop number two.

Number two is another Hotel on James Ave. Their only opening is for a part-time bartender, but I apply anyway. Nothing remarkable about that place except this: when I walk into their spacious lobby, it's filled with women. Attractive women. Hot women. Everywhere. And I'm the only dude. I've had dreams like this. The least pretty would rate as "yeeaaah, give me two drinks and I'd do her" while the hottest rated as "I would drag my balls through a firepit just to hump her shadow." I don't know what they were doing there (other than the fact that maybe God hates me... I don't even know what that means) but I focus on my task at hand. I get an application, fill it out, attach my papers, and walk out. As I'm walking out, I notice a bleach-blonde Latin chick looking at me. When we make eye contact, she smiles and I smile back... and I almost walk into the doorframe. Smooth, Dan-E. Very Smooth. You idiot.

The next stop would be the most fruitful. It's at another hotel on Collins, and unlike the Raleigh, their Open House ad was legit. I'm there five minutes early and grab an application, but the guy doesn't show up until about 2:40. In the meantime, I'm chatting up a couple of girls who are also there to apply. There's a friendly blonde that seems promising (so much for focus) and I'm making progress until the interviewer finally shows up. Asshole. He turns out to be a friendly enough guy. At first it's only four of us so he does group interviews. My first question is what goes into a Long Island Iced Tea (vodka, gin, rum, tequila, a splash of sour mix and coke, lemon wedge garnish... but I forgot the Triple Sec. I don't know why but I always forget the Triple Sec.) He asks me to make the ultimate margarita (2oz. of a good, Añejo tequila, fresh juice of two limes, 1oz. Gran Marnier; on the rocks with a salt rim. You need a salt rim. Don't argue with me.) Suddenly, our foursome triples in number and he sits us all down and addresses us all on what the company is doing, and what he expects of us. He'll does a quick one-on-one with us, and the blonde goes first. I'm next. We go through my job history, he asks if my name is really spelled "Dan-E," and a few other things about serving and bartending. I guess he likes me enough that he tells me he'll call on Saturday to let me know when I can start training.

SCORE!

I'm stoked. I shake his hand vigorously, and I walk away with a big smile. Awesome. Hired on the spot. It was about 3:15 when that happened and it's when Gay Wingman finally wakes up and calls me to ask how I'm doing. I tell him what happened and he's happy for me.

Not much else happens at the other places I apply at. I stop by an Italian place, a sports bar, a regular bar, and a beer and wine bar. Once I reach Alton Road and head towards home, I check my phone, which I kept on "silent" the whole time.

Remember my buddy, who offered me a job as a supervisor and works at an Irish tavern? I called him the night before just to ask him if he had any openings. He left a couple of texts, saying no promises, but I'll see what's available. When it's all said and done, he ended up telling his boss about me, and she wants to meet me. And now I have an interview tomorrow at noon at his restaurant.

This is awesome. It's nice to have options. Though if I end up working a the Irish place, I'll have to buy this guy a beer. Or maybe a bottle Jack Daniels. Whatever, he's good people. We'll have to wait till the weekend to see what happens. I can't wait.

Labels: bartending, cheeseburger, job search, moving on, the gay wingman, waiting, whiskey

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 12:01 AM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: Time to Move on ::

I just got fired from my job today. It was for something stupid that I'm not going to get into and I probably could have prevented it if I paid a little more attention to my stuff. To be honest, I was getting frustrated with that job anyway, and when the owner broke the news, I didn't really fight it. In the back of my mind, I think I knew it was going to happen.

Still, when it actually happens, no matter how much I might have hated my job I left feeling a little numb. I've quit jobs, I've been laid off, but I've never been fired, and this is a new experience for me. Even if I wasn't satisfied, I still showed up - admittedly late every now and then - and I worked hard while I was there and to have it removed still sucks.

So now what? This moves up my time table to go out find my "real" job a little bit. Till then, I find something to hold me over. Wish me luck.


EDIT: I found out from a co-worker that I got ratted out by a trainee who called this morning to tell the owners that he couldn't work here because he thought all the waiters were corrupt thieves, or something to that effect. The odd thing is, my name somehow came up, when literally the only words I said to him all night was, "hi, I"m Dan-E." I'm not the only one who did what I did, but for that (ridiculous) reason, they decided to use me as an example.

So they'd rather value the word of some piece of shit who didn't even have the balls to voice his complaint in person over an employee who's been there over two years. I think I'm better off away from there.

Labels: moving on, waiting

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 6:40 PM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: Go ahead, Make my Day ::

The beautiful and vivacious Diane of Martinis for Two honored me a with a You Make my Day Award (read: tagged me for a meme) and I have to say, it's pretty cool. She's living and thriving out in Germany with her new hubby so I'm not sure how my occasionally neurotic ramblings and rants about the crappy state of my sports teams make her day but I appreciate her plug, nonetheless. It's not a "make my day" in the Clint Eastwood mode (which, really would have been fun) but this is on a happier, less homicidal tone. Which blogs do I enjoy reading daily? Which blogs make my day?

- I can't start off without mentioning Joo. We've known each other for years dating back to before my blogging days. She's cute, perky, open, and not your typical "Christian Girl." We hung out a few times before I moved to Miami and now our blogs are a way for us to stay in touch without actually having to pick up the phone. We share a love for good food and great beer. She's also the only regular reader that knows what I look like. (Let's keep it that way, shall we?)

- Most blogs out there with the word "Dating" are usually, bitter, vitriol-ridden, man-hating or woman-bashing, dating sucks ass, why does no one match my self-perceived-greatness spewing tirades of frustration about the current state of their love life (really, they just want a hug) that makes my day in the sense that I'm glad that, despite my own misgivings, I'm not like that. Don't get me wrong, these blogs are highly entertaining. But Jamy marks a stark contrast in that she combines life and dating updates with a gratitude journal. It's a lot easier to be negative and I know better than anyone how hard it is to find a silver lining but she does it. That and she's a girl that likes baseball and football. That alone is worth a few points.

- You have to be a diehard baseball fan but this next "blogger" is one of my favorite writers. The venerable, inimitable, Baseball Hall of Fame reporter Peter Gammons of ESPN is joy to read (unfortunately, you need a pay subscription to view his content). His love of the sport of baseball, while lamenting the business state but in a constructive way, is clear in every post and every column he's ever written. Unlike other media hacks who try to promote their own name by writing controversy for the sake of controversy, Gammons reports to news with detail, eloquence and gusto that marks the standard for sports reporting. Also, he's a fan of the blues and can cut some mean licks with his Strat. A joyous passion for anything is enviable.

- A few friends of mine have told me I should become a writer (which leads me to believe they don't read much) but I have to point out a guy who actually is a writer, and a great one at that. The entertaining Neil of Citizen of the Month cracks me up every time I read his blog. He openly writes about his insecurities, the Ex-wife, and therapy sessions, but in a way that's funny and endearing and not pity-seeking. His style of writing is great, and anyone who has a series of posts with the subject "My Talking Penis" deserves some sort of mention.

- Last, I want to point out my little brother's blog. We're seven years apart, he lives in Boston, we live very different lives, and his blog was a way for me to touch base with him. Unfortunately, he stopped updating a while ago, and he likes is privacy so I'm not going to post the link. However, one of his posts was so compelling that I wrote a 1198 word post about it. Here's an excerpt:

I found his post revealing in that I used to wonder why I opted out of law to become a college professor. (It was a decision that I was always proud of him for making; choosing personal fulfillment over big paycheck.) If you read my blog for a while, you know I always touted him as the smart one in the family - he graduated from Boston College in FOUR years with BOTH a Bachelor's and Master's in Philosophy. (He's also the good looking one and the athletic one. Me, I'm...well, the Black Sheep.)

Sometimes I marvel at how advanced he his than I ever was at that age. And if wasn't proud of him enough, he's now teaching only part time while working his day job, which is working at a foundation where they take high school kids from troubled neighborhoods and mentor, teach, tutor, and guide them so they get into college. How fucking COOL is that? Because of our age gap, we're not close and I told him a long, long time ago that he needed to do what fulfills him. I made it clear he's never needed any validation from me. (I didn't think he'd actually listen.) But regardless of what he does, he's my brother and I'll always be proud and I 'll always love him.

That and the ladies love him. He needs to give me a few pointers.

Labels: little brother, meme

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 11:24 PM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: Super Bowl XLII Recap and Random Thoughts ::

Wow. Wow. WOW what a game. That's about as exciting a 17-14 game you'll ever see. Perhaps it's relative to the expectations of a blowout by the Patriots, or maybe it was the sense that you'd be watching history and not much else, or maybe it was just one hell of a game. Unlike past Super Bowls virtually the whole game was better than any of the commercials (those cartoon things for some sales company... what the FUCK was that shit? Somewhere out there is some art-school reject, hack of a creative team that actually thought THAT shit would be worthy of a Super Bowl spot? And I'm still working behind a bar? I'm quitting my job tomorrow.)

Eli Manning won the obligatory "Winning-Quarterback-gets-the-MVP" Award and an Escalade... Hybrid? (A full-size SUV hybrid. That's like putting a radar detector into a Geo Metro. Or squeezing a fat guy into biker shorts. Or giving a guy with no arms a lifetime of free porn. I could go on. I have a notebook full of these.) Anyway, Eli got the award but the real MVP was the Giants' amazing defense. That pass rush was suffocating and Michael Strahan, Osi Umenyora and company put Tom Brady on his back more than Michelangelo.

Anyway, some random thoughts:

- Somebody please, please, PLEASE track down Tiki Barber and put him on camera to give his thoughts about the Giants winning it all the YEAR AFTER HE RETIRES. One year after he quit because his claimed coach Tom Coughlin made lose his love for the game (read: I'm a egomaniacal diva that wants everything my way and the coach is a big meanie). My guess is that he's in the corner of his apartment, curled up in a ball, clutching his blankie, weeping, and mumbling in tongues.

- Why do people call them the "New York Football Giants?" is there a beer-league softball team or a women's basketball team in New York that calls themselves the Giants, too? Someone explain this to me, please.

- Tom Petty was awesome but does anyone else think that he's starting to look a little corpse-like? I'm not saying he's anywhere close to Keith Richard's level of decomposition but it's probably a good thing he grew that beard. Otherwise, his cheeks might look hollower than, say, an 18-1 season.

- There were two moments in the game where the football fan might think, "okay, this is where the Patriots take over." The first one was the "too many men on the field" penalty that went against the Giants. The other was the floater that Manning overthrew to a wide-open Plaxico Burress. Considering the ruthless efficiency the Pats have been playing with all season, you figured that Brady go into action hero mode reminiscent of those cheesy 80's movie where Schwarzenegger or Stallone become indestructible in the last 10 minutes of the movie. Never happened.

- If I told you the Giants scored a mere three (3) points in the first half, yet went on the beat the Pats by three (3) points, not only would you rightfully question how much beer I'd have, you'd probably wonder if I finally caved in and started doing hard drugs.

- This is the second year in a row where a Manning knocked Brady out of the playoffs. Maybe he'll start doing more commercials, you know, to get his name out there. Not that I feel bad for him. He's gonna go home and sleep with Gisele Bundchen. If that doesn't make you feel better, you might as well be dead.

- That play in the 4th quarter where Eli miraculously avoided getting sacked, composing himself, heaved a pinpoint pass to David Tyree who made a ridiculous circus catch where he actually pressed the ball on his helmet to maintain possession was one of those "holy shit" moments, as in "holy shit, the Giants might actually pull this off." That and half the guys at bar actually said "holy shit!" when that play happened.

- Does this mean that we're going to be subjected to a bunch of Eli Manning commercials now?

- The Giants secondary did a great job keeping Randy Moss from getting too wide open. On Brady's second to last Hail Mary pass, Moss was double covered but if he just jumped and made a concerted effort, he just might have come down with the ball. Is it was, he looked lackadaisical.

- And to think Strahan almost retired. Think he's glad he decided to stick around?

- Tom Brady is human after all. A human with tons of athletic talent, loads of cash, a rockstar level of fame, and a disturbingly hot girlfriend.

- By the way, does anyone know if Bridgette Moynihan, Brady's baby-momma ex-girlfriend (that's what it says on her business card now, since she hasn't actually acted in anything for a while) have anything to say about this game? Does anyone know which team she was rooting for?

- Seriously, I wanna know what Tiki is doing right now. Is he crying hysterically? Is he tearing apart his house in an uncontrolled rage? Is someone talking him down from the balcony right now? I need to know these things.

- I just got off the phone with The Hostess and she told me she found Tom Petty boring. Boring!!! That's it. We're done. Through. Unless she buys me a beer the next time we hang out. I'm that easy.

- Just a few more weeks until pitchers and catchers report.

Labels: football, random thoughts, sports, Super Bowl, the hostess

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 10:19 PM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: Server Stories: Girls and Whiskey ::

It was a pretty slow Wednesday night. I got to work at five and I didn't get my first table until almost six-thirty. It was a four-top of some young-looking kids that were in town with daddy's credit card. As they walk in I notice the petite, sandy-blonde chick wearing a low-cut dress showing off her nice set of personalities. My buddy Chuck and the new guy walk over next to me and admire the talent as she takes her seat. I walk up to the table ask them for their drink order first and everyone gets soda or iced tea except for the sandy blonde, who orders Jack Daniels on the rocks.

I raise my eyebrows and I look at her for a moment before I ask for her I.D. She digs it out of her purse and hands it to me. She turned 21 three months ago. Girls her age who try too hard to be precocious usually stick of Cosmopolitans or some vodka mix (and it's always either Grey Goose, Kettle One, or Belvedere). But Jack on the rocks...

Wow. Don't get me wrong. I like Jack Daniels. On the rocks or with Coke, it's a great whiskey. I'm an avowed bourbon drinker that also loves s good scotch and Irish Whisky(I'm not a fan of Canadian Whiskeys; Crown Royal is okay but everything else tastes like swill) but I'm 33 and I possess an iron palate. (The Gay Wingman once dared me into doing a Wild Turkey shot and I downed with no problem, whereas he went into convulsions, despite the fact that he's been drinking longer and harder than I ever had). Jack Daniels is similar to bourbon except it's made in Tennessee and has been filtered through sugar maple charcoal (imagine a gigantic Britta filter; it's called the Lincoln County Process), which imparts and a smoky sweetness you won't find in, say, Woodford Reserve. Regardless, drinking this stuff without a mixer takes either a strong tongue or years of drinking to develop a tolerance (in my case, both).

I hand her driver's license back, smile and say "nice pull." She smiles back at me and says quietly, "I've been doing this for a while." It's then I noticed that she owns not only a killer smile, but also a beautiful pair of hazel eyes that could potentially make powerful men starts wars to win her favor. I'm about to flirt with her except the guy sitting next to her suddenly slides right next her, puts his hand on her thigh, and says to me with a slightly raised voice, "can we start with some calamari?"

I pull myself out her eyes and walk over to the computer, being grateful that I’m wearing an apron. My buddy Chuck and the new guy are still checking out Hazel Eyes. After I run the drinks, I walk up to them and joke, "I think we got 'Miss Girls Gone Wild 2008' at my table." Chuck thinks it's funny while new guy just shakes his head and says, "Damn. She's fucking hot dawg. She show you her tits or something?"

"Nah. I mean, she's hot, but she's drinking Jack on the rocks."

"Aw damn."

"And... she turned 21 in November."

"For real?"

"Yeah."

"Like, last year?"

"Yeah."

"Aw, damn dawg. That's hot, That's fucking hot." (He says "dawg" a lot. And he's Brazilian.)

I chuckle. He's a good guy. He's only 28 but he's been married for four years already. He says he never has and never will cheat on his wife and I believe him since he'd tell me if he did, but it's clear he married too young and he still wants to sow his wild oats. (Then again, his wife is a beautiful English lass with blonde hair and a round ass and if anything like that was in love with me, I'd probably want to lock that down too.)

The calamari is done. He drops it off at the table and walks past me, shaking his head and says "damn." I smile. I sorta know how he feels. Assuming she was single, he can't have her because he's married. I can't have her because... well... I have my own neurosis I need to work through.

Gay Wingman walks up and he wonders what the three of us are talking about. Chuck points out Hazel Eyes and even the gay guy is like "wow, she is hot." He nudges me and says "you need to go talk to her right now."

"Dude, she's with her boyfriend."

"Oh honey, he's a dumb jock that still wears his cap backwards. You're way smarter than that meathead is and, oh my gawd, his shoes are just awful."

He's sober. It's not unusual for him to have a drink or three before a shift but he's sober right now. I just look at him and nod. "I'm serious. Even if you don't get her number, you need to go make an impression and show her she can do better than that jock."

"Dude, shut up."

"You're fabulous honey. You need to get that out there more. We need to get you out there more. And she also likes that brown liquor."

I smile. I don't have a response to that but other than the "fabulous" part, he might be right. Alcoholic tendencies and loquacious ramblings aside, he just might have a point.

They finish their dinner and pay. They leave while I'm standing near the entrance talking to the host. When they walk by, the boyfriend ignores me but Hazel rubs my arm as she walks past and says good night. I smile back and say "I'll see you again soon." I grab the check. The boyfriend paid and left a crappy tip.

I don't care. I'm in a good mood for the rest of evening.

Labels: big ass, boobs, girls, server stories, the gay wingman, waiting, whiskey, whoa

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 12:56 AM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: Celtics Game Recap ::

I don't know if anyone saw the game or if you saw the results on the news but if not, as you can see here, the game was ugly. Bad. Horrible. Even though basketball ranks a distant third to baseball and football in terms of favorite sports, I follow it enough to know how good the Celtics have become (which isn't really saying much since even Gay Wingman knows how good they are) so as bad as the Miami Head are, I was at least hoping for a decent game and hey, I get to see Kevin Garnett play and he's a rockstar.

Except he didn't. He was out with a strained abdominal muscle (wuss). Ray Allen was stricken with the flu. Paul Pierce had a sore vagina and finished with only seven points. Of the Miami stars, Shaquille O'Neal pulled a hamstring running to the post-game spread when the team chef brought out pot roast (not to say I wouldn't have done the same thing but this guy is supposed to be a fucking ATHLETE... and my hamstrings are in better shape, apparently), and Dwayne Wade left in the third quarter with "flu-like symptoms" (did he have pre-game make-out session with Ray Allen? I mean really. It's that or Wade got sloppy seconds with a sports groupie who stopped by the visitor's locker room first).

Whatever. My buddy and I snuck in two small bottles of vodka and small bottle of Jack Daniels (that was mine) so halfway through the second quarter, we had a nice buzz going (I'm not an alcoholic!) so the game wasn't too unbearable. And I have to say, I was impressed with the depth of the Celtics bench players. It wasn't Boston's Big Three but the backup guys played like a decent college team going up against some beer-league rejects and as bad as the game was (they won by thirty points but the game wasn't nearly that close) those guys were fun to watch. There wasn't a ball-hogging superstar (Kobe, I love you but it's true) or some star primadonna that's angry because the team stopped paying for his pedicures. The Celtics bench guys played like a TEAM - kinda like how the Detroit Pistons played when they won the Title - and as a casual fan it was fun to watch.

Hey, it was a free ticket. Sports events are like rock music in that it's always better to experience it live anyway (even if your seeing some crap band like Maroon 5) and even without the booze, I still would have had fun. And as a sports fan, the one thing I took away from it was this: I can complain about my favorite teams all I want (Dodgers, 49ers, Lakers, Federer losing in the semis of the Oz Open) but it's still better than being a Miami sports fan.

Labels: alkie, basketball, celtics, sports, the gay wingman

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 1:18 AM [+] :: | 0 comments
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