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:: Sunday, February 03, 2008 ::

:: Super Bowl XLII Recap and Random Thoughts ::
Wow. Wow. WOW what a game. That's about as exciting a 17-14 game you'll ever see. Perhaps it's relative to the expectations of a blowout by the Patriots, or maybe it was the sense that you'd be watching history and not much else, or maybe it was just one hell of a game. Unlike past Super Bowls virtually the whole game was better than any of the commercials (those cartoon things for some sales company... what the FUCK was that shit? Somewhere out there is some art-school reject, hack of a creative team that actually thought THAT shit would be worthy of a Super Bowl spot? And I'm still working behind a bar? I'm quitting my job tomorrow.)

Eli Manning won the obligatory "Winning-Quarterback-gets-the-MVP" Award and an Escalade... Hybrid? (A full-size SUV hybrid. That's like putting a radar detector into a Geo Metro. Or squeezing a fat guy into biker shorts. Or giving a guy with no arms a lifetime of free porn. I could go on. I have a notebook full of these.) Anyway, Eli got the award but the real MVP was the Giants' amazing defense. That pass rush was suffocating and Michael Strahan, Osi Umenyora and company put Tom Brady on his back more than Michelangelo.

Anyway, some random thoughts:

- Somebody please, please, PLEASE track down Tiki Barber and put him on camera to give his thoughts about the Giants winning it all the YEAR AFTER HE RETIRES. One year after he quit because his claimed coach Tom Coughlin made lose his love for the game (read: I'm a egomaniacal diva that wants everything my way and the coach is a big meanie). My guess is that he's in the corner of his apartment, curled up in a ball, clutching his blankie, weeping, and mumbling in tongues.

- Why do people call them the "New York Football Giants?" is there a beer-league softball team or a women's basketball team in New York that calls themselves the Giants, too? Someone explain this to me, please.

- Tom Petty was awesome but does anyone else think that he's starting to look a little corpse-like? I'm not saying he's anywhere close to Keith Richard's level of decomposition but it's probably a good thing he grew that beard. Otherwise, his cheeks might look hollower than, say, an 18-1 season.

- There were two moments in the game where the football fan might think, "okay, this is where the Patriots take over." The first one was the "too many men on the field" penalty that went against the Giants. The other was the floater that Manning overthrew to a wide-open Plaxico Burress. Considering the ruthless efficiency the Pats have been playing with all season, you figured that Brady go into action hero mode reminiscent of those cheesy 80's movie where Schwarzenegger or Stallone become indestructible in the last 10 minutes of the movie. Never happened.

- If I told you the Giants scored a mere three (3) points in the first half, yet went on the beat the Pats by three (3) points, not only would you rightfully question how much beer I'd have, you'd probably wonder if I finally caved in and started doing hard drugs.

- This is the second year in a row where a Manning knocked Brady out of the playoffs. Maybe he'll start doing more commercials, you know, to get his name out there. Not that I feel bad for him. He's gonna go home and sleep with Gisele Bundchen. If that doesn't make you feel better, you might as well be dead.

- That play in the 4th quarter where Eli miraculously avoided getting sacked, composing himself, heaved a pinpoint pass to David Tyree who made a ridiculous circus catch where he actually pressed the ball on his helmet to maintain possession was one of those "holy shit" moments, as in "holy shit, the Giants might actually pull this off." That and half the guys at bar actually said "holy shit!" when that play happened.

- Does this mean that we're going to be subjected to a bunch of Eli Manning commercials now?

- The Giants secondary did a great job keeping Randy Moss from getting too wide open. On Brady's second to last Hail Mary pass, Moss was double covered but if he just jumped and made a concerted effort, he just might have come down with the ball. Is it was, he looked lackadaisical.

- And to think Strahan almost retired. Think he's glad he decided to stick around?

- Tom Brady is human after all. A human with tons of athletic talent, loads of cash, a rockstar level of fame, and a disturbingly hot girlfriend.

- By the way, does anyone know if Bridgette Moynihan, Brady's baby-momma ex-girlfriend (that's what it says on her business card now, since she hasn't actually acted in anything for a while) have anything to say about this game? Does anyone know which team she was rooting for?

- Seriously, I wanna know what Tiki is doing right now. Is he crying hysterically? Is he tearing apart his house in an uncontrolled rage? Is someone talking him down from the balcony right now? I need to know these things.

- I just got off the phone with The Hostess and she told me she found Tom Petty boring. Boring!!! That's it. We're done. Through. Unless she buys me a beer the next time we hang out. I'm that easy.

- Just a few more weeks until pitchers and catchers report.

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:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 10:19 PM [+] :: | 0 comments

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