:: Life on Planet Dan-E ::
Thoughts, observations, and introspections from an
:: Thursday, May 01, 2008 ::
Labels: dating, girls, rants, the hostess Labels: football, random thoughts, sports, Super Bowl, the hostess Labels: dating, girls, the gay wingman, the hostess Labels: dating, the hostess Labels: big ass, boobs, dating, girls, hair, I'm an idiot, please just shoot me, the hostess
:: Sunday, February 03, 2008 ::
She asked, almost begged me to call her and hang out. Maybe it's because I was getting off at 2am and tired but I agreed. My only day off was Wednesday and that's my tennis night. I could always play another night but I told her we could meet up after I'm done playing since my gut feeling said she'd bail on me.
Turns out I was right.
No big deal. I did what I was going to do anyway but I was still annoyed. I don't have much in the way of expectations from her. She's fun to hang with but I never considered her dating material since she smokes, is a little immature for her age, and quite frankly, I probably deserve better. But I did enjoy her company and it would have been nice to hang out.
(Full disclosure, the only reason I gave her another shot is because she's a cute brunette with blue eyes. I'm pathetic.)
I remember trying to date back when I was younger and having with deal with this shit then but is this what women are like when they're in their 20s?. I felt like going off her but instead I just let it go. Is this how women are at that age? Or have I just been getting bad cards?
:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 12:04 AM [+] ::
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:: Sunday, January 27, 2008 ::
Eli Manning won the obligatory "Winning-Quarterback-gets-the-MVP" Award and an Escalade... Hybrid? (A full-size SUV hybrid. That's like putting a radar detector into a Geo Metro. Or squeezing a fat guy into biker shorts. Or giving a guy with no arms a lifetime of free porn. I could go on. I have a notebook full of these.) Anyway, Eli got the award but the real MVP was the Giants' amazing defense. That pass rush was suffocating and Michael Strahan, Osi Umenyora and company put Tom Brady on his back more than Michelangelo.
Anyway, some random thoughts:
- Somebody please, please, PLEASE track down Tiki Barber and put him on camera to give his thoughts about the Giants winning it all the YEAR AFTER HE RETIRES. One year after he quit because his claimed coach Tom Coughlin made lose his love for the game (read: I'm a egomaniacal diva that wants everything my way and the coach is a big meanie). My guess is that he's in the corner of his apartment, curled up in a ball, clutching his blankie, weeping, and mumbling in tongues.
- Why do people call them the "New York Football Giants?" is there a beer-league softball team or a women's basketball team in New York that calls themselves the Giants, too? Someone explain this to me, please.
- Tom Petty was awesome but does anyone else think that he's starting to look a little corpse-like? I'm not saying he's anywhere close to Keith Richard's level of decomposition but it's probably a good thing he grew that beard. Otherwise, his cheeks might look hollower than, say, an 18-1 season.
- There were two moments in the game where the football fan might think, "okay, this is where the Patriots take over." The first one was the "too many men on the field" penalty that went against the Giants. The other was the floater that Manning overthrew to a wide-open Plaxico Burress. Considering the ruthless efficiency the Pats have been playing with all season, you figured that Brady go into action hero mode reminiscent of those cheesy 80's movie where Schwarzenegger or Stallone become indestructible in the last 10 minutes of the movie. Never happened.
- If I told you the Giants scored a mere three (3) points in the first half, yet went on the beat the Pats by three (3) points, not only would you rightfully question how much beer I'd have, you'd probably wonder if I finally caved in and started doing hard drugs.
- This is the second year in a row where a Manning knocked Brady out of the playoffs. Maybe he'll start doing more commercials, you know, to get his name out there. Not that I feel bad for him. He's gonna go home and sleep with Gisele Bundchen. If that doesn't make you feel better, you might as well be dead.
- That play in the 4th quarter where Eli miraculously avoided getting sacked, composing himself, heaved a pinpoint pass to David Tyree who made a ridiculous circus catch where he actually pressed the ball on his helmet to maintain possession was one of those "holy shit" moments, as in "holy shit, the Giants might actually pull this off." That and half the guys at bar actually said "holy shit!" when that play happened.
- Does this mean that we're going to be subjected to a bunch of Eli Manning commercials now?
- The Giants secondary did a great job keeping Randy Moss from getting too wide open. On Brady's second to last Hail Mary pass, Moss was double covered but if he just jumped and made a concerted effort, he just might have come down with the ball. Is it was, he looked lackadaisical.
- And to think Strahan almost retired. Think he's glad he decided to stick around?
- Tom Brady is human after all. A human with tons of athletic talent, loads of cash, a rockstar level of fame, and a disturbingly hot girlfriend.
- By the way, does anyone know if Bridgette Moynihan, Brady's baby-momma ex-girlfriend (that's what it says on her business card now, since she hasn't actually acted in anything for a while) have anything to say about this game? Does anyone know which team she was rooting for?
- Seriously, I wanna know what Tiki is doing right now. Is he crying hysterically? Is he tearing apart his house in an uncontrolled rage? Is someone talking him down from the balcony right now? I need to know these things.
- I just got off the phone with The Hostess and she told me she found Tom Petty boring. Boring!!! That's it. We're done. Through. Unless she buys me a beer the next time we hang out. I'm that easy.
- Just a few more weeks until pitchers and catchers report.
:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 10:19 PM [+] ::
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:: Saturday, January 19, 2008 ::
Every now and then after a few drinks, he makes it a point to meet women and then introduce them me. I'm just sitting there trying to find something to hide behind. I'm not opposed to meeting women, except he has a knack for picking out the ones that are married, have boyfriends, or is so drunk that she'd probably go home with Scott Peterson.
I don't know if it’s a New York thing but he's generally blunt in his observations of me, especially when he goes into this bizarre (alcohol-induced) Queer Eye meets Dr. Phil mode. I'd normally dismiss his drunken ramblings (like when he tells me to cut six inches off my hair and shave my goatee; no way I'm cutting my hair, and I'll trim my goatee but if I go clean-shaven I'll look like I'm 17) except he pointed out some of the very same neurosis that I blogged about in the past. And it's not all critiquing, he does point out the positives as well, without being like, creepy or anything.
He knows about The Hostess, only because he saw us leave work together and asked me the next night about what was going on (nothing... I think) and if anything happened (we had dinner once, drinks once and lunch once). His conclusion? She likes me but she's probably as neurotic as I am. Interesting choice of words since since she sometimes compares herself to Monica from "Friends."
This should be interesting.
:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 12:46 AM [+] ::
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No big deal. Except I'm curious as to what she might say when I see her at work tomorrow. I don't have any emotional investment in her and cases like that, I just brush it off with a "whatever, no big deal" and let it go. In the past, others have advised me to call her on it, don't let her be like that, etc, "and you can do that without being a dick about it." Um, how exactly?
Anyway, off to the movies.
:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 8:39 PM [+] ::
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She's in her early 20s, energetic, and quite gregarious. So I don't read into anything when she tells me about her family, friends, and other stuff since she shares that stuff with pretty much everyone. Now, here's where my confusion starts and the reason for writing this post:
Management decided to let her train as a server to replace a guy that quit. I wish her luck and help her when I can without actually doing anything for her. At the end of her first night of training, she asks me if we can walk home together (we live a few blocks from each other) and say "sure." I want make a small detour to Pita Plus on Washington to get some take out. She agrees immediately. We end up eating there and talking some more (she talks, I listen). When our food is up I get ready to pay (for my own stuff, since at no point this whole time did I think this was a date of any sort), except she starts reaching into her purse and says "I'll get this." "Huh? What? Why?" The clerk interjects tells us we don't have to pay until after we're done eating (I'm there all the time). "You don't have to buy me dinner." She just shakes her head.
During dinner, she asks me if I can help her study for her waiter test. I get this brief moment of nostalgia where I'm back in college but once that passes I say "sure, if I'm free that day." No big deal, as long as it doesn't interfere with the Football Playoffs. We keep talking, we get to movies and I ask her about "Cloverfield." I mention I'm thinking about seeing it this weekend and unprompted, she says "I'll go see it with you." I raise my eyebrows. "Sure, if you want..." "...if that's what you were getting at. I always do that; some of my friends might say we're going to do this and that and I'll say 'sure I can make it' and he's like 'we weren't gonna invite you. this is guy's night." I just reply, "sure you can come."
The whole time, I was just enjoying her company, but that's when I realized something: Is she nervous? Why would she be nervous? She was always energetic and chatty but she seemed even chattier than normal. Or maybe I was tired and my perception was off. Anyway, we've so far established that I'm helping her study and we're going to see "Cloverfield" and I did almost nothing to prompt it. With me so far? (I'm still trying to figure this out myself.)
She notices the clerk cleaning up his counter and she stats digging in her giant bag for her purse. Again she offers to pay, again I protest. I don’t recall doing anything to deserve a free dinner, and I’m not used to stuff like this happening. She finally says, "you can get it next time we go out." Wait, next time? (I'm not kidding when I tell people that I'm not good at planning ahead. After I post this, I might watch Australian Open Tennis, I might go to sleep, or I might take dump. I just don't know. Or maybe she assumes a lot.)
She pays, I finish my shawarma pita and we walk home. She said some odd questions and comments that night; "Is this your normal walking pace? I walk fast, too. Are you religious? I like to walk around my apartment naked.” And this: “You know, when your hair is down, it really changes the structure of your face." (That's what she said, verbatim. Naturally my response was a confused "um, really?")
When we get to my street, I tell her good night and thanks for dinner. We kiss on the cheek and walk to our apartments. The last two blocks I'm wondering what exactly happened that night. I worked a 13-hour double and while I enjoyed her company, she has a lot of energy and I was drained.
The next night, it's business as usual. The TV is set on Fashion TV and "Midnight Hot" comes on. There are always thongs, usually there's sideboob, sometimes there's full boobage. There was a feature with a curvy brunette wearing a black thong and a see-through halter. Good thing it was late and the crowd thinned out because the four straight guys on the floor were ensorcelled by the model and none of us were getting any work done. We were standing around each other - possibly drooling - and if you saw us you'd probably laugh at how ridiculous it was.
I snap out of it when I the hostess smacks my arm from behind and says "alright boys, that's enough." She said "boys" yet I'm the only one that gets hit; what's up with that? I just turn my head, give my innocent smile. I turn back to the screen and she says sarcastically (I think) "if you're wondering, yes I'm jealous." None of us reply because now the model is bent over a coffee table and we’re catatonic. It stays like this for a minute till the manager sees and yells "get back to work!"
Anyway, I'm supposed to meet her Saturday to help her study and see "Cloverfield" (as long as she doesn't flake. She told me she's flakey and I made other plans anyway). As I went to bed that night, I'm wondering: Is she just looking for new friends? She just moved here. Is she just nice? Does she have a crush on me? What does that even mean? Is Saturday a date or are we just hanging out? (Yes, I'm THAT lost. Sad, isn't it?) Either way, I fall asleep with a goofy smile on my face.
:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 1:17 AM [+] ::
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