:: Life on Planet Dan-E ::

:: Server Stories: Christmas Party ::

Sunday night was our company Christmas party. It wasn't just a party for our restaurant; being part of a corporation, we combined our party with that of the restaurant just across the street. There was potential for partying it up with people I've never met (especially considering the stories I've heard about past Christmas parties) but for the most part, I was just there for the free beer and free food.

I mean, free beer and free food. Can't beat it, right? And at least they did quite well with the latter when the cooks came out with a whole roasted pig. They had other stuff like nachos, paella, and yuca (which I love) but there's few things I like eating more than whole roasted pig (not surprisingly, they're other food items). I was one of the first in line, of course.

My co-worker was right behind me, but she didn't know about my penchant towards weird food. When I got up to guy slicing up the whole pig, I asked for parts of the pork belly, skin, and one of the pig ears. The moment I said "ear" she smacked me on the arm and exclaimed, "oh my God, really? EEWWW!" Whatever. The guy carving the pig gave me a knowing smile and said, "muy bueno, señor." It was delicious.

I went back for seconds and the guy asked, "amigo, te gusta cabeza de puerco?" "Si, señor." I wanted the tongue but some food freak already got to it so I settled for a hind leg and half a skull. When I came back with my plate I freaked out my former floor manager, his fiancé, two co-workers, and some chick who was drawn to my long hair. Whatever. Like gnawing on a pig's leg is any different from gnawing on a turkey leg. It was delicious.

As for the booze, it was limited to beer (cheap, fizzy, yellow crap out of a keg) and wine (cheap shit that you might find at Denny's) so my hopes of doing tequila shots with co-workers were dashed (they wouldn't allow keg stands either). As it was, my hopes of a drunken make-out session with one of the cute hostesses never happened either since I just couldn't get drunk. (It's impossible for me to get even a buzz off of beer unless I drink the strong Belgian or German stuff and even then I need to drink on an empty stomach.) Sometimes, having a high tolerance sucks.

The party itself was okay. There was mingling, some bad uncoordinated-white-guy dancing (possibly by me), and way-off-tune karaoke (definitely not me) and some lame attempts at drinking contests. It was relatively mild in contrast to some of the stories I heard from past Christmas parties where there were drunken hook-ups, fights, and drinking games. But I had fun, and I got to eat a pig's head. It's not every day you can say that.

Labels: Beer, drinking, food, party, server stories, weird

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 12:04 AM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: Job Search: What did you call me? ::

I've been getting to know the staff pretty well that over the last few days since it's either been slow at the restaurant and we've had time to stand around and talk or we go out for beers after work. One of the guys comes up with a new nickname for me every few days, some of the guys are already at the stage where we feel comfortable talking shit to each other, and a few of the girls there are in love with my massages. (They're also jealous of my hair, which is weird and kinda cool at the same time. Know what I'm talking about? Um, neither do I.)

(It's the polar opposite of the last place in that while I don't really like working there, I like the people who do.)

Anyway, there's this bartender who always calls everyone "honey," "sweetie," or "baby." She seems nice enough but we've never had any substantial conversations beyond stuff like how long we've been living in South Beach or our favorite booze.

One night after work a few of use head to the bar after work. The bartender and I were talking while I'm waiting for my Guinness to settle. She gets her vodka cranberry and heads back to our table. As she walks away she calls me "Sweet Cheeks."

Now, I've met plenty of women who always use expressions like "honey," "sweetie," or "baby" and I've never read anything into it. But "sweet cheeks?"

That's new.

Labels: bars, guinness, weird, wtf

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 2:39 AM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: Food TV ::

One of the things about being unemployed is that I have all this unintended free time and I'm constantly trying to find ways to fill my day. I'm usually gone during the day pounding the pavement till about four or five but what to do afterwards?

I usually don't watch much TV unless it's sports, news or Food Network related, although I usually have it on when I'm at home. Most of the series I watch like "Lost," "Nip/Tuck," or "Alias" is on DVD. I watched all seven seasons of "West Wing" on DVD. Right now? "Lost" and "Nip/Tuck" are already a few episodes in so there's no point in watching it now. However, I am an avid fan of Anthony Bourdain's "No Reservations" and "Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern." The Travel Channel usually reruns them after midnight so I catch it when I get home.

So when they ran a "No Reservations/Bizarre Foods" marathon it was perfect. I switched it on after I got home and vegged out. If you were wondering, yes I would actually try some of the stuff that they've had. One of my favorites was the episode in Mexico, where Zimmern went around trying authentic Mexican food, everything from fine dining to street cart fare. Some of the local fare involved crickets and worms and I can't believe it but the way they prepared it, it actually look appetizing. When he started scarfing down a taco made with pig parts, it reminded me of the stuff I used to eat back in Los Angeles. I've had tacos filled beef tongue, tripe, stomach, head, and even brain. Similar stuff from pork. I'm telling you, it's good stuff. The tongue especially would probably be enormously popular in the states if cooks could somehow got around the fact that it's a cow tongue.

Other weird stuff I've eaten is sea cucumber (ugh), various pig parts (good stuff if you cook it right), chicken and duck feet and head and other parts (ditto), 1000-year old egg (yummy), bird's nest soup (okay), chicken hearts (tough and chewy), fried stinky cheese (awesome and not that stinky), chitterlings, and other stuff I can't remember.

(True story: at my last job we sold two fish, a yellowtail snapper and a pompano, that were cooked and served whole. Head, tail, bones and everything. They're excellent. The pompano is my favorite and I eat it regularly. This one time, I was almost done dismantling my lunch and the New Guy dared me to eat the eyeballs. Not only did I eat the eyeballs, I picked up the head and started gnawing away at the meat, much to his disgust. Some people like them but every now and then we get a few who order them but request the head be removed. The cooks do this after the fish has been cooked. If this happens and it's slow I ask the cook to save the head for me, after which I take it in the back and gnaw away. My old manager once caught me doing this and he got angry - not because I was eating during a shift but because he wanted first dibs.)

There were several favorite Bourdain moments. One was in Vietnam, where he ate the local delicacy of whole cobra - still beating heart, blood, bile, innards, and meat - prepared in various ways. I'd be lying if there wasn't a part of me that was thinking "hmm... I wanna try that." He also has an infatuation with "street food." Imagine a hot dog cart or a farmer's market, except with food indigenous to that culture. Having grown up in L.A., where some of the best Mexican, soul food and hot dogs are from glorified stands that stuff hits home. There was also a recent episode in Scotland where he went to a Chip (fries) Shop and ordered deep-fried haggis and something called king rib. King rib is, in a way, kinda like our McDonald's McRib in that it's processed meat shaped to resemble a small rack of ribs. Unlike the Mcrib, where you at least know pork is the main ingredient, they weren't quite sure what goes into king rib, or even it there's any actual meat in there. Yes, I wanted some.

I also like his acerbic wit, whether he's talking about their culture, our culture, or is has misgivings about trying something new and frightening. It's especially fun when he talks shit about some of the more famous Food Network personalities. And I find it amusing that his diction and opinions are such that the network feels the need to lead into every segment of his show with a disclaimer. Good stuff.

Labels: eating, fish, food, TV, weird

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 9:32 PM [+] :: | 0 comments
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