:: Life on Planet Dan-E ::

:: New 'Vette ::

I don't write about this much but I'm a huge automobile fanatic. I subscribe to two different car magazines, I stare at exotic and classic cars when they drive by the way some guys look at a hot chick in a thong, and I can make the distinction between variations of a single car line, like the difference between between a 2004 Porsche Boxster and a 2006 model within seconds.

My favorite car is the Chevrolet Corvette. Back in my youth, when I read book after book about the car instead of doing my homework (which is why I'm a 33-year old waiter), I could recite horsepower figures for each engine, depending on the year model. I know the story behind the 1963 Split Window. I could tell you who the Father of the Corvette is.

So imagine my reaction when I read about the new ZR1. Even though I'm nowhere near close to being able to afford one (or even a "regular" Corvette for that matter), reading this article made me giddy.

Labels: cars, dreams, whoa

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 12:15 AM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: Freckles ::

I just remembered why I like girls with freckles. Maybe not the best example but, c'mon... that's good stuff.

I've mentioned that I like the show "Lost." And now you know why. It's not just because of the fascinating characters, intricate plot, and bizarre twists. (Well, maybe a little.)

Labels: boobs, girls, naked, whoa

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 2:48 PM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: Job Search: Day 8 ::

I did some pavement pounding yesterday and dropped off at least eight or nine more resumes and filled out almost as many applications. Nothing really solid, since almost everyone told me something along the lines of "we're not hiring at the moment" or "our staff is full right now" followed by "but if you want to fill out an application, we'll keep in it on file and call if anything comes up."

One hotel I went to told me they don't take paper resumes (wtf?) but I can fill out an application on their website. I figured what the hell and I started that around noon. As it turns out, that place is owned by a multinational hotel company and this was their corporate application site. It wasn't just a simple case of filling in the boxes and checking the box that says I've never been convicted of a felony (Explain: Umm, great lawyer), as there were a series of questions and a survey that took half an hour. Which was fine since I didn't have anything else to do. (I could have just picked my nose but I'm a great multitasker.)

I need to print more cover letters and resumes so instead of going to Kinko's, I head over to my old school to use their printers. I hadn't been there in over a year and there were so many changes that I spent some time both trying to find the computer room and downloading the proper drivers. Around 3:30, I get a phone call from a number I don't recognize. Hoping it's one of the restaurants finally calling me (to tell me that they desperately need my services because I'm awesome) I answer eagerly.

It's that hotel.

That was fast. They must really need someone. We talked about ten minutes discussing several points about my experience and what would be required of me at the restaurant. Being corporate, it was one of their H.R. guys that went through my resume and called me to schedule an interview. So as it stands now I have an interview next Monday at 10:00am. Wish me luck.

Oh, there's more: While I was printing out my stuff, I ran into a girl that I met at Dewey's a couple of weeks ago. That meeting alone is worth a blog post (I'm surprised I didn't blog about that night). I'm sitting on the couch, she turns the corner, we make eye contact and each say a surprised "hey!" She's on her way to class so we chat only briefly. I get her number, and make plans to shoot some pool tonight at ten... because I'm awesome (I'm gonna keep typing that until I actually start to believe it. That could take a while.)

Considering my recent fortunes, I'm betting 50-50 that she's going to flake and not show up but then again, she might show up and have a lot of fun right?

I should mention this: I'm posting this at Taste Bakery and manager who's been working there as long as I've been going there just gave me a bag of cinnamon rolls to take with me because she didn't want to throw them out. If you know anything about me the only thing I love more than food is free food. This is a good sign.


EDIT: 7:35 - I just saw her at Starbucks. I came here after Taste closed and just walked in to get some coffee. (I think she's stalking me). We talked very briefly and I noticed she had two cups and made a (lame) joke about caffeine addiction. She said the other one's "for Joe." My first thought was, "who the fuck is Joe? Boyfriend? Study partner? Maybe a bisexual female friend whose full name is JoAnne?" (I have an active imagination.) Anyway, says I'll see you tonight and leaves. I see her with Joe, who's a tall, lanky, dorky looking guy with glasses. I think I can take him.

Oh yeah, I can't believe I forgot to mention this the first time: this girl and I have the same first name. Whoa, déjà vu .

What do you mean I'm thinking too much??

Labels: girls, I'm an idiot, job search, whoa

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 5:55 PM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: Server Stories: Girls and Whiskey ::

It was a pretty slow Wednesday night. I got to work at five and I didn't get my first table until almost six-thirty. It was a four-top of some young-looking kids that were in town with daddy's credit card. As they walk in I notice the petite, sandy-blonde chick wearing a low-cut dress showing off her nice set of personalities. My buddy Chuck and the new guy walk over next to me and admire the talent as she takes her seat. I walk up to the table ask them for their drink order first and everyone gets soda or iced tea except for the sandy blonde, who orders Jack Daniels on the rocks.

I raise my eyebrows and I look at her for a moment before I ask for her I.D. She digs it out of her purse and hands it to me. She turned 21 three months ago. Girls her age who try too hard to be precocious usually stick of Cosmopolitans or some vodka mix (and it's always either Grey Goose, Kettle One, or Belvedere). But Jack on the rocks...

Wow. Don't get me wrong. I like Jack Daniels. On the rocks or with Coke, it's a great whiskey. I'm an avowed bourbon drinker that also loves s good scotch and Irish Whisky(I'm not a fan of Canadian Whiskeys; Crown Royal is okay but everything else tastes like swill) but I'm 33 and I possess an iron palate. (The Gay Wingman once dared me into doing a Wild Turkey shot and I downed with no problem, whereas he went into convulsions, despite the fact that he's been drinking longer and harder than I ever had). Jack Daniels is similar to bourbon except it's made in Tennessee and has been filtered through sugar maple charcoal (imagine a gigantic Britta filter; it's called the Lincoln County Process), which imparts and a smoky sweetness you won't find in, say, Woodford Reserve. Regardless, drinking this stuff without a mixer takes either a strong tongue or years of drinking to develop a tolerance (in my case, both).

I hand her driver's license back, smile and say "nice pull." She smiles back at me and says quietly, "I've been doing this for a while." It's then I noticed that she owns not only a killer smile, but also a beautiful pair of hazel eyes that could potentially make powerful men starts wars to win her favor. I'm about to flirt with her except the guy sitting next to her suddenly slides right next her, puts his hand on her thigh, and says to me with a slightly raised voice, "can we start with some calamari?"

I pull myself out her eyes and walk over to the computer, being grateful that I’m wearing an apron. My buddy Chuck and the new guy are still checking out Hazel Eyes. After I run the drinks, I walk up to them and joke, "I think we got 'Miss Girls Gone Wild 2008' at my table." Chuck thinks it's funny while new guy just shakes his head and says, "Damn. She's fucking hot dawg. She show you her tits or something?"

"Nah. I mean, she's hot, but she's drinking Jack on the rocks."

"Aw damn."

"And... she turned 21 in November."

"For real?"

"Yeah."

"Like, last year?"

"Yeah."

"Aw, damn dawg. That's hot, That's fucking hot." (He says "dawg" a lot. And he's Brazilian.)

I chuckle. He's a good guy. He's only 28 but he's been married for four years already. He says he never has and never will cheat on his wife and I believe him since he'd tell me if he did, but it's clear he married too young and he still wants to sow his wild oats. (Then again, his wife is a beautiful English lass with blonde hair and a round ass and if anything like that was in love with me, I'd probably want to lock that down too.)

The calamari is done. He drops it off at the table and walks past me, shaking his head and says "damn." I smile. I sorta know how he feels. Assuming she was single, he can't have her because he's married. I can't have her because... well... I have my own neurosis I need to work through.

Gay Wingman walks up and he wonders what the three of us are talking about. Chuck points out Hazel Eyes and even the gay guy is like "wow, she is hot." He nudges me and says "you need to go talk to her right now."

"Dude, she's with her boyfriend."

"Oh honey, he's a dumb jock that still wears his cap backwards. You're way smarter than that meathead is and, oh my gawd, his shoes are just awful."

He's sober. It's not unusual for him to have a drink or three before a shift but he's sober right now. I just look at him and nod. "I'm serious. Even if you don't get her number, you need to go make an impression and show her she can do better than that jock."

"Dude, shut up."

"You're fabulous honey. You need to get that out there more. We need to get you out there more. And she also likes that brown liquor."

I smile. I don't have a response to that but other than the "fabulous" part, he might be right. Alcoholic tendencies and loquacious ramblings aside, he just might have a point.

They finish their dinner and pay. They leave while I'm standing near the entrance talking to the host. When they walk by, the boyfriend ignores me but Hazel rubs my arm as she walks past and says good night. I smile back and say "I'll see you again soon." I grab the check. The boyfriend paid and left a crappy tip.

I don't care. I'm in a good mood for the rest of evening.

Labels: big ass, boobs, girls, server stories, the gay wingman, waiting, whiskey, whoa

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 12:56 AM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: Whoa ::

I can't believe it's already December.

Labels: I'm getting old, time flies, whoa

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 3:48 PM [+] :: | 0 comments
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