:: Life on Planet Dan-E ::

:: How We Met ::

Every time I become friends with someone who's already married, I always ask them how they met. I love listening to these stories, always have.

The writer of one of the blogs I frequent shares a similar love. He takes it a step further and linked to a beautiful "How We Met" story in the Washington Post that moved me more than I really care to admit.

It moved me because of their fearlessness; their willingness to dive headfirst into unknown water despite the precarious circumstances circling their lives. It moved me because it made me wistful for my own stories to tell.

Enough about me, enjoy the story.

Labels: introspective, love

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 3:03 PM [+] :: | 2 comments
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:: Why I Cook ::

I've been racking my brain trying to think of something to write. I have yet another four half-written posts saved up, yet it took almost two months before I found something worth writing about, and it wasn't even my idea. I read this great post from a blog read regularly and he got his inspiration from an enthusiastic food writer.

So why do I cook. I almost have too many reasons to list and while long posts aren't exactly new to me, I'll run down some of the more important points.

- I cook to eat. Seems like a resounding *DUH* right? But I love to eat and if you were to ever meet me, you can tell I don't miss meals often. Or ever. But other reasons range from my general disdain for most processed foods and microwave meals (it's been literally a decade since I bought one) all the way to health concerns. I also know what I like and therefore it's easy to make what I like.

- It's a hobby that I have a great deal of passion for. I love it, plain and simple. People I work with have asked why I don't pursue cooking as a profession. I think if I had to do it every day as a way to make rent, I would lose enthusiasm for it, having to grind away behind a hot line 8-10 hours a night, 5 nights a week. As it is now, if I don't feel like cooking I just stop by Five Guys or if I'm broke, whip up some eggs. Besides, I work in a restaurant where I get along with the cooks, it's also easy for me to pick up tips here and there.

- Cooking is an excuse to buy myself some great new kitchen knives. Also got a bamboo cutting board, a new honing steel, a cast-iron skillet and many entertaining evenings playing chef. (Ironically, as one of my goals for this year is to be more social, I'm wondering if this is a good thing.)

- Many waiters, after a long shift, like to drink themselves into oblivion or light up a joint. While I do love a good drink, cooking helps me to relax as much as a night out with friends and I get more of a kick from fixing a good meal.

- On that same note, If there's anything I love more than cooking, it's music. Few things make me happier than cooking while I have my favorite songs playing in the background. (I'm even happier when sipping on a good whiskey.)

- Personal fulfillment. I rarely cook for people and when I do, it's only for the closest of friends or a woman I'm dating. Even if I'm dicking around with a recipe and I need guinea pigs to sample my dish, I only invite the few friends I can actually spend more than 30 minutes with without needing booze to keep me interested. Along those lines, I've never cooked to impress a woman hoping she'll date me. As much effort as I put into my dishes, if a woman wants me to cook for her, she has to show me something. (And I don't mean her tits.)

(Though it might help.)

- I love trying something new and experimenting with ingredients. I remember how intimidating it seemed the first time saw Alton Brown butcher a whole beef tenderloin. I also remember trying it myself the first time and thinking to myself, "that's it?" and enjoying beef dishes the rest of the week. I remember the elation of braising lamb shanks for the first time. I especially remember finally learning how to precisely slice salmon into equally thin pieces with my new sashimi knife and the look on my buddy's face when he saw and sampled my hamachi.

- I enjoy the challenge. I'll make the best steak tartare you'll find outside a fine restaurant. My espresso-rubbed short ribs braised in chocolate stout and served over vanilla mashed potatoes is amazing. So is my own homemade tomato sauce. I received moans of approval from people who tasted my coriander crusted snapper with tequila-lime sauce and jalapeno parsnips puree. I can make my own salad dressings. And I've said many times; I make the best guacamole on the East Coast. But none of these came out great the first time and they all seemed difficult at first. And while I have these and a few other dishes I rotate through, I really don't know as much as most home cooks. I don't know the first thing about baking. I couldn't make a dessert from scratch other than opening a pint of Ben 'n Jerry's. And even though I'm good with red meats and fish, I can't do that much with chicken beyond frying up buffalo wings. That's the next hurdle I'm looking forward to.

- I cook because life is better those few minutes I spend in the kitchen. As much as I enjoy a good dining experience, food tastes just that much better when it's earned.

Labels: cooking, introspective, still here

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 12:08 AM [+] :: | 1 comments
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:: Looking Back on 2009 ::

I don't even know where to begin. This year has had so many ups and downs that I feel like 2009 couldn't end soon enough. Reading some posts this year was a somber experience. I've had some great highs but there was a disproportionate amount of lows; enough that I can look back and say this year wasn't one of my best.

There have been good things. I made some great new friends. I'm good financially. I've eaten at the great restaurants and cooked some great meals. Like every year, I've learned new things.

But I had to change jobs again. One in which I'm grateful for having, given the economy but I've had to deal with more stress than seems rational for a waiter.

There have been some women in my life but there is has been no intimacy. I went on some nice dates but there's something left to be desired if all I can say about a date was that it was "nice." I've pushed myself to grow and I have, but one thing I've learned is that at age 35, I still feel like I have so far to go, so much to learn.

Things don't magically change just because the clock turns to 12:00 but there is some truth in the old axiom "new year, new beginnings." Things will be different in 2010. Hopefully for the better but things will be different.

I already have something to look forward to. My younger brother is getting married this summer. Hopefully I'll meet my new sister-in-law before then. I already know she's going to be a good for him since he usually attracts quality women (unlike me).

But I need something good to happen to me this year. Whatever inner drive I had that provided the initiative to make the move to Miami six years ago, I need to find that again.

No matter what, things will be different.

To all my readers, Happy 2010.

Labels: happy new year, introspective

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 11:02 PM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: Great News ::

My little brother got engaged last week. It's the best news I heard in quite some time and I couldn't be happier if he told me he bought me a lifetime supply of beer and bacon. I've yet to meet his fiance though I have seen photos of her on his Facebook page. She seems like a sweetheart and they do make a great looking couple. Just as important (to him anyway, she seems like the kind of girl that his mother would absolutely adore.)

And yet... as happy as I am for him, I can't help but feel bittersweet at the same time. I haven't seen him in over three years. I'd love for to go out for beers, catch up on life, and watch a Lakers game for old time's sake.. I want to meet his fiance and welcome her into our dysfunctional family and warn her that if she ever breaks my little brother's heart, I'm gonna put a hit out on her (inside joke: when mom was pregnant, I was sure he was going to be a girl.) As much as my parents drive me crazy, I miss them (and mom's homemade spaghetti sauce).

He's only 28 years old. If he was playing baseball he'd be entering his Prime years and as far as his life is going now, it seems like he is indeed. He'll be finishing up his Masters in a little over a year (his second by the way, that overachieving prick). He found someone to share his promising future with.

Being the Black Sheep I've always been somewhat distant from my family and for the most part I'm okay with that. But this is such great news that it's not enough just to hear it. I want to be there with everyone to soak it all in. For the first time in a long time - perhaps because Christmas is around the corner - I feel somewhat isolated.

... and I want what he has. (There I said it.)

Labels: good news, introspective, little brother

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 10:20 AM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: Moments when You Should Enjoy a Great Drink ::

One of the blogs I've been enjoying recently has a great philosophy on drinking;

"I have long said that great wines are for really good or really bad days."

While I appreciate a beautiful wine, I'm not a wine connoisseur. However, few things make me happier than a good pour of fine whisk[e]y. I've also long believed in this line of thinking but I've never articulated it quiet so simply and elegantly. It's a great philosophy, not surprising coming from a pretty damn good blog.

Getting back to the point: Last night I treated myself to a glass of 21-year-old Balvenie Scotch. Tonight I dipped into my stash and am currently sipping on a glass of Laphroaig Quarter Cask.

Nothing good happened today. Or for that matter, recently.

Labels: blogs, drinking, introspective, scotch

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 2:23 AM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: Conversation ::

It's the dog days of summer in the service industry in Miami. Since July, I've only had one week where I didn't work six days and a couple of those weeks involved picking up doubles for people who called in "sick." It might seem ironic that I'm working more when business is slow but it's the only way to make any money and there are always people willing to take a day off if there are only twenty reservations on the books.

A few of us at work were talking about wines and the topic turned to what our favorite drink is and what we would pair it with. There was a myriad of responses from a simple gin and tonic to Long Island Iced Teas. Parings ranged from cheese or sushi to "another one." My answer was, "my favorite scotch: Lagavulin 16 Year Old neat, water back."

"What would you pair it with?"

Without really thinking, almost instinctively my reply was "Good conversation with an attractive woman," almost under my breath, more to myself than anyone.

I haven't had much of a social life in that time other than post-shift beers at the local bar with co-workers, and the occasional non-date with one colleage who bears an uncanny resemblance to Kate Winslet. We work well together and she's one of maybe three out of the entire waitstaff that I can trust to get things done. But I don't like her that way; we're just friends (no benefits, but I also have my own reasons for not pursuing that path). All I know is that we always have fun when we hang out.

It's the conversation. She gives great conversation. No mention of any fledging acting or modeling careers, trying to get into some some chic new club, or some trite personal drama that's only worth a mention in her world. It always flows easily, topics are interesting, laughs are frequent, and there's few in any dead spots in the evening. She has this low-maintenance, goofball personality that some guys might find unrefined. I consider it charming. She even possesses the mature self-awareness to avoid those types of guys.

Of course, she has minor flaws. She smokes, drinks Miller LIte (yuck) and Heineken (bleh, though she does abhor White Zinfandel, which is always a plus), and she has a muffin top to match my spare tire. But that's nitpicking and I wouldn't change a thing about her. Look, we don't go out on dates; there's no romantic chemistry of any sort, but if they were dates they're more personally fulfilling than any real dates I've been on this year. Maybe it's me or maybe it's living in South Beach but something as simple as a woman who's good for conversation shouldn't be this difficult to find.

Or maybe it's me. I'm not an extrovert. When I talk I tend to be economical with my words so while I usually don't carry a conversation I can more than hold up my end. But as is always the case, and more in my case than others, some get me some don't. Kate luckily, gets me.

Labels: frustration, in a rut, introspective, women

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 12:13 AM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: Thinking too Much ::

"There a lady from the Lowe's Hotel sitting in the lounge. I need you to take care of her."

Why me? "The cocktail server can't take of that?"

"We don't have one anymore, remember?" Oh, right. " Besides, they want to eat dinner there so I need you to do it."

"Then why is she sitting in the lounge?" The lounge is normally a drinks-only area for people to sit while waiting for a table to open up.

"I was going to put her in your section but she said the music is way too loud."

Great. I wasn't in a bad mood or anything but I had a lot on my mind and I just wanted a smooth night. I didn't need this shit.

"Anyway, she could bring us a lot of a business so I need you to go there and pamper the fuck out of her."

Great, another high-maintenance hotel drone. I already have four tables. I let out a sigh. "Which on is she?" "The one in the black dress." "No problem."

As I approach the lounge I see it's two blondes I couldn't help but notice earlier. One is a young six-footer with long, tanned legs emerging from a painted-on, low-cut, zebra-striped mini-dress. The one in the black dress is shorter, curvier, and sporting miles of cleavage. They both very attractive, but sullen. As I get closer I notice Black Dress is a little older. In fact her and Zebra Stripes share a resemblance and... wait, is that her MOM?! Note to self-don't flirt with Zebra Stripes.

They're sitting with a greasy-looking guy in a grey suit, on the the cushy sofas that encourage lounging and the zebra mini-dress is riding up quite distractingly. Oh yeah, her legs aren't crossed. Since you're not here to read about some seedy upskirt crap I'll end it here by saying I didn't see anything. (Despite my best efforts.)

To make a long story short, I pampered the fuck out of her and even got them to splurge on some oysters, lobster, and abottle of Veuve. The Black Dress is initially grumpy but, I answer every absurd question she had, serve her exactly what she needed, and in the end, she actually smiled.

At the end of the night, I'm sitting in the the office, lost in my own thoughts as the manager looks over my paperwork. She asks me if the lady was happy.

"I don't think so."

She looks up. "What happened."

"I don't know. She just doesn't seem like a happy person. Maybe she's not content with life. Maybe she's just yearning for her lost youth."

"What?"

"You look at the way she's dressed, like she's looking to recapture some of the attention she might have received she was younger. And the fact that she lets her daughter dress that way, it's almost like she's living vicariously through her kid."

The manager, by now, has her face contorted trying to figure out exactly what I'm babbling about.

"From the way she talks, the way she asked for things, her demeanor, and even her posture, she doesn't seem happy at all. Probably hasn't been happy in a long time."

She leans forward towards me and says, "Dan-E, I need you to focus and listen to my question: was she happy with her dining experience?"

"Oh." Is that what you meant. "Umm, yeah, she loved her lobster tail."

She leans back in her chair and releases an exasperated laugh. "I don't know what to make of you sometimes."

"Yeah, my mind was elsewhere."

"No kidding. Stop thinking so much."

"Yeah, I do that sometimes."

Labels: introspective, thinking too much, waiting, wtf

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 2:00 AM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: Happy Mother's Day ::

My mama told me when I was young
Come sit beside me my only son
And listen closely to what I say
And if you do this it'll help you some sunny day

Take your time, don't live too fast
Troubles will come and they will pass
Go find a woman and you'll find love
And don't forget that there is someone up above

And be a simple kind of man
And be something you'll love and understand
Baby be a simple kind of man
Won't you do this for me son if you can?

Forget your lust for the rich man's gold
All that you need is in your soul
And you can do this if you try
All that I want from you my son is to be satisfied

And be a simple kind of man
And be something you'll love and understand
Baby be a simple kind of man
Won't you do this for me son if you can?

Boy don't you worry, you'll find yourself
Follow your heart and nothing else
And you can do this if you try
All that I want from you my son is to be satisfied

And be a simple kind of man
And be something you'll love and understand
Baby be a simple kind of man
Won't you do this for me son if you can?
- "Simple Man" Lynyrd Skynyrd

That's one of my favorite songs, and Skynyrd's best song not named "Freebird" (actually, I think it's their best song, period, which I know is heretical to say but, whatever). I believe any parent that has a son should play that song for him the moment he's able to comprehend music and lyrics. If my mama ever told me such things, life might have been different.

I rarely blog about my parents for reasons I won't get too specific about here. Even before I hit my teens our relationship has been anywhere from indifferent to acrimonious. Moving away helped our relationship considerably. Age and some degree of maturity helped me change my perspective since I stopped seeing them as The Worst Parents Ever to just being able to see them for the people they are.

Trying to be a good son I called my mother to wish her a Happy Mother's Day and I was treated to, for the first time in God knows how long, a pleasant surprise.

Like usual, she questioned (she used to nag) why I don't have a girlfriend (because you did your best to sap me of any self-confidence whatsoever during my formative years you megalomaniacal bitch, which I refrained from saying). Every time she does this, I always remember how she was never exactly open-minded about the ethnicities I can or can't date.

(I don't write about my ethnicity any more on this blog for reasons of anonymity and I've removed any previous mention of it. Other than the few people who know me in real life, I prefer to keep it private, though it probably isn't hard to figure out. Anyway, because I was raised in California my personality is that of your average West Coast White Guy. If you talked to me over the phone, you'd think exactly that.)

Instead I just told her I've been on some dates lately and I'm pretty sure she wouldn't like any of them because of their ethnicities. She then threw me this curveball: (Paraphrasing) "I don't care what she is. If she's a good woman and you love her, then I'll accept her, regardless of what she might be. Do you hear me? If she's a good woman and she makes you happy, that's all I care about."

[Surprised at the response.] Really.

"Absolutely. Your father feels the same way. All we care about is that she's a good woman and she makes you happy."

[I'm now wondering who this woman is and what she's done with my real mother.] That's good to know. I appreciate that.

"Yeah yeah, now tell me, have you met anyone or what?" [Oh hey mom, there you are.]

Yeah, I had a date last week. It was nice, nothing special.

"What is she?"

[Here it goes.] She's Dominican/Black. [Waiting for the tirade.]

(And I didn't say that just to bait my mother. My date is in fact, Dominican/Black. My days of doing things out of spite are behind me.)

She lets out a sigh. "Is she nice? Did you have fun?" Yeah mom, she's nice. And it was one date. Nothing more. "Listen, I meant what i said. As long as she makes you happy, that's all I care about. I just want you to be happy."

[This being the first concession she made for me, in quite possibly, my entire life I simply go along with it.] I'm glad you're opening up Mom. I appreciate it.

We talked a little more before I had to go. I worked that night but I spent the rest of the evening thinking about our talk. Before this, when I thought about her all I could remember was the negativity, the overprotective nature, and her inability to grasp how wildly different my perspective was from hers. But while I'd like to thinkI've grown and matured in the last five years, it's now apparent she's also made some progress.

I've always done my own thing without consideration for my parents feelings, and I'll be the first to admit that some of it was motivated by rebellion. Whatever I may think of her as a mother, as a person she's beyond reproach. Always generous, outgoing, caring to a fault and she could cook a killer plate of spaghetti from scratch. Whatever, it's good to know that my parents are now willing to meet me halfway on something.

Getting them to accept the fact that my hair is almost down to my butt, that might be more challenging.

Labels: dating, hair, introspective, parents

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 5:19 PM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: Where's the Funny? ::

It's been a while since i've blogged and even that last post was a lame rehash of the previous year's material. I've been reading some of my archives there's a couple of things or note; page disclaimer notwithstanding I'm taken aback at all the typos. It's not that I lack basic grammar and language skills, and I even try to proofread everything before posting but I'm a little perturbed at what slips by.

The other, more important thing I've noticed is that the quality of my blogging seems to have declined in the last year or so. Maybe it's just me but it's lacking a certain energy that it can have when I'm "on." My blogs just don't seem as funny - to me - as they could be.

I'll be the first to admit that my humor is arcane and dark and some of the crap I write is just for me, but even that stuff has made me wonder where the funny went. I can still make my coworkers laugh with my various cracks and comments but when I sit down to blog it sometimes feels like I spend more time staring at the screen. Even my parenthetical quips aren't what they used to be.

It could just be writer's block but that would imply that I'm in some way a writer and "blogger's block" sounds like an intestinal problem (See what I mean? I'm resorting to borderline toilet humor here. I mean, I'm not above a good fart joke - or for that matter a good fart - but still.) Part of the reason is that I seem to blogging about the same shit lately. New job, football, baseball, my workers are drunks/funny/idiots, I can't get a woman to look at me if I self-immolate, I eat too much unhealthy junk and I love it, etc etc etc.

Odd thing is that my life doesn't seem repetitive. Just the blogging part. There's stuff going that I don't talk about, and there are many thing I just don't feel comfortable sharing with pretty much any one. I've written about some of this more personal stuff in the past and I felt like I was walking around with my fly down... and I forgot to wear underwear.

We'll see where this goes.

Labels: in a rut, introspective

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 9:52 PM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: 2009 Resolutions: ::

Not to sound like a downer but I don't even know why I bother with these sometimes. On the off chance that I manage to keep a resolution through a year, it's not like I ever remember making the resolution in the first place. Many times it's broken within the first month.

Case in point, I was at Publix this afternoon to pick up some cleaning supplies. Nothing major, and I didn't pick up anything I didn't need (harder than it seemed since they had both Stone Crabs AND porterhouse steaks on sale for ridiculously cheap). While I was shopping someone set up a table to sell Girl Scout Cookies. Whatever. I haven't had them in literally years. Those Tagalongs are great but like I wrote in a previous post I don't have much of a sweet tooth, other than the occasional craving for Haagen-Daaz, specifically Dulce de Leche.

Well, guess what their brand new flavor is.

If I didn't know better, I'd think someone was trying to kill me with food. Of course I had to try one. I went ahead and bought a box of the Dulce de Leche and a box of Tagalongs. I know. Give me a little credit: I only got one of each.

That (finally) brings me to my point: Being as it one of my resolutions was "Lay off the junk food," why do I even try? I went through a period of a few years where I didn't make resolutions and my life was unaffected. There's always some stupid excuse, too. In this case my thinking was along the lines of "no more Fatty Melts, fried fish, and maybe cut back on the steaks." I didn't think I'd get tempted by a thirteen-year-old girl peddling her sweets. (Wait, that sounded bad.) Seriously, I hadn't eaten that crap for years! But there it is. Then again, being as it they're my resolutions and it's still only the first month, I'm allowed to give myself a mulligan. I just need to find some Girl Scout repellant.

Just a few of my other resolutions:

• Stop smoking. Oh wait, I don't smoke. Cool, that was easy.

• Lay off the junk food. I've eaten my last Fatty Melt for a while, I've gotten over my fish taco nostalgia, and I'm certain that box of cookies should placate my Dulce de Leche cravings. At least for a week or so. I still have to have my steaks however, but I'm gonna try leaner cuts like sirloin filets. Instead of potatoes, maybe try a salad or two. (Technically, tomato and mozzarella with olive oil, roasted red peppers, and diced pancetta constitutes a salad. At least where I work.)

• Don't get fired. Seriously, that sucked. It's not like I even liked that job but being singled out like that even though others were complicit, seriously, that just sucked.

• Run more. Or more accurately, start running again. I remember how good I used to feel last year when I was running regularly. My clothes fit better, I had more energy, and every now and then there would a cute chick in running shorts. Speaking of which:

• Stop being so Goddamn shy. I'm not (too) socially awkward or anything but given that it's my job to be talkative and social and meet new people every night, I'm still an introvert. I'm not the kind of guy that can start up a conversation with a stranger standing in line. Every time I go to The Abby, I spend most of the time either watching sports or talking to my buddy who works there. If I ever get in a conversation with someone else at the bar, it's because they initiated it. Odd because when I'm "forced" to meet people - new co-workers, customers, friends of friends - I'm easy to get along with, can hold up my end of the conversation, and be fun to hang with. Why am I so shy? I should be able to meet new people outside of those constraints. Of course, I have no idea how to go about doing this but bear with me.

• Get my "Real Job." It's been over three years since I graduated from Art School. I'm saving up my money and once this year's season is over, I'm going all in on finding that "Real Job." Of course, I said the same thing last year but stuff happened and my plan went slightly awry.

There are a few other resolutions that are a bit more personal, which I'm not going to share obviously. Wish me luck.

Labels: food, i'm a fatass, ice cream, introspective, resolutions, steaks

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 11:42 PM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: 2008 Year in Review ::

I don't know why I've never done this before. I've been blogging since... what... 2002? (I can't believe I've kept this thing going for this long. Seriously, six years?!) All that time and I've never done a Year in Review for Life on Planet Dan-E. (I don't know, have I? I didn't bother to check I don't actually read this thing.) Never too late to start, I guess.

January: Started off the year with a bang by getting drunk off Jägermeister; Became friendly with The Hostess; Saw the Boston Celtics blow out the Miami Heat, which made me happy and depressed at the same time; made the resolution to never drink Jägermeister, which would turn out to be the only one I manage to keep.

February: Enjoyed a great Super Bowl game and not just because the Pats lost; Got fired from a job I had for over two years; went on a lingering , frustrating job search; Eventually got a hired at a swanky restaurant only to have it close in August; During my down time, I take up running again; Extremely happy that I can once again fit into my "skinny" shirts.

March: Learned how to work at the new place as well as adapt to a whole new environment; Laugh about some very compromising photographs on a camera left behind by some careless (drunk) customers); Keep running since I like this whole "feeling healthy" thing; In the process, I almost kill myself trying to keep up with a couple of kids at least ten years younger; Celebrated my (adopted) Irish heritage by drinking a little too much Guinness and Jamesons; (come to think of it, this is pretty much every year.)

April: Played a prank on one of the managers, worked ten days straight afterwards; Spent four days in a hospital, decide that I hate it and never want to go back, and not just because of the bills; Made $20 eating a ball of wasabi; Got beat up playing tennis by a thirteen year old runt; Contemplate taking up golf.

May: Stopped talking to the hostess and not just because she was trying to drag me to see the "Sex and the City" movie; Got reprimanded by the manager for having too much hair.

June: Found out that all this time my new co-workers thought I was a major pothead since I'm laid-back, say "dude" a lot, and have really long hair; A part of me dies when my Lakers lose the finals to the Celtics; I buy a bicycle, only to get a flat tire that same day.

July: Celebrate my country by drinking too much Sierra Nevada and Jack Daniels (this is pretty much every year as well); Got a new set of contact lenses; Heard about an earthquake in Los Angeles and kinda found myself wishing I was there (because I'm an idiot); Found out My Dodgers traded for clubhouse cancer Manny Ramirez and contemplate taking a baseball bat to my own head.

August: Discovered the greasy goodness of Chicken Fried Bacon; Swanky Trendy Restaurant closes; I find gainful employment that week at an Italian Steakhouse; Spend my first night as a line cook during training, now waiting on my own Food Network show; Wait for a hurricane that never actually hits us; The Summer Olympics come and go, not that I actually watched, someone told me.

September: Football season starts, as a 49ers fan I'm both happy and depressed; Compared one of my co-workers to a 30-year old bottle of port wine and she doesn't kill me; I win the football pool two weeks in a row, only to never win again; Celebrated my fifth year in Miami by not really doing anything.

October: Against all odds Manny somehow helps my Dodgers get to the playoffs where we improbably SWEEP THE CUBS; Being a little too proficient at my job, once again, depressed me; Discovered the greasy awesomeness of the Fatty Melt, my arteries raise the white flag; Celebrated my birthday by not really doing anything.

November: Learn how to cook Osso Bucco and rediscover my love of funny words; I attend a Dolphins game with my buddy Chuck, learned exactly why they make Hootie cry; Celebrated Thanksgiving by drinking - not eating - a lot of Turkey; Following my 49ers closely only reminded why they make me cry.

December: Discovered new flavor of Haagen-Daaz and realize someone is trying to kill me; Enjoy not just one, but two Christmas parties, only after getting over the surprise that it's December already; Find something to look forward to after news that my favorite band is releasing a new album in 2009; Looking forward to 2009 for other reasons as well.

Next post: Resolutions for 2009.

Labels: introspective, looking back

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 11:57 PM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: Server Stories: Little Things ::

We got our asses kicked at worked tonight. There were only four waiters scheduled and we got hammered with 140 reservations. We barely got through but the kitchen was having a bad night and it affected us. Steaks were taking too long and when they finally came out, some of them weren't cooked properly. Steaks were being returned for being either over or undercooked.

I'm normally even-tempered but at one point and slammed my notepad down and yelled "FUCK!" when the busboy came back with an undercooked steak. (Irony being that the steak was actually a perfect medium, but this asshole had his own idea of what constitutes "medium.") I was in the kitchen and no customers heard me.

Later there was an incident with one of the busboys involving a flying coffee cup. He's terrible and lazy, and there has been talk of terminating him. But that's no excuse to lose my temper like that. (Full disclosure; I was aiming for the wall, not him.) Now I'm wondering if I'm going to get written up. The manager usually has my back and he was sympathetic but I could tell he disappointed in my behavior. I apologized to him, the busboy, and rode home wanting to beat my head against the wall for losing my composure.

I came home, and immediately downed a shot of Jack. I poured another glass and sat down to check my email. I received a notice that someone commented on my blog. (Few and far between these days.) I clicked on the comment, and I couldn't help but smile after reading what Jamy wrote.

No, I wasn't asking, but she wrote anyway and perhaps it was my somber mood at the time but I immediately felt better. It was a little gesture but little things like that are the kind of things that mean a lot to me.

I started thinking about this "friend" thing. I usually consider "friends" to be limited to people I've met in person. My Facebook friends are people I know in real life. (Okay, two exceptions.) That being said, I think my readers probably know me better than some of the people who know me in real life. I read blogs more frequently than I talk to my friends. I also have genuine reactions to things I read. When I read about a blogger's trip to Paris, I was excited for her and a little envious. When a blogger wrote about a miscarriage, I felt sad. When I saw that a friend got a new boyfriend, I was happy for her.

We're not talking major reactions or anything. I'm not very emotional to begin with but reading about lives of my readers matter to me. If I'm reading a blog of someone I know in the real world, even more so. I have friends who went through these things at some point and those things will always matter more.

Still, the people behind the blogs I read still matter. I wouldn't leave comments otherwise. That’s probably just how things are these days. As much as I hate to admit it, I like when readers leave comments. A simple little gesture but it's still much appreciated; even responses to my dumb posts about giant cheeseburgers and rants on my favorite sports teams. (Especially the dumb posts about giant cheeseburgers and rants on my favorite sports teams.) Maybe blog comments are in their own way, like text messages, only far less annoying. Little things like that, I guess, are things that friends do.

Most of this is probably stuff you already know and I'll be the first to admit that this post is ridden with platitudes and banalities, but I just finished my fourth glass of Jack on an empty stomach. Future posts will get better.

Labels: blogging, introspective, server stories

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 1:28 AM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: 5 Years ::

As of today, it's been five years since I moved to Miami.

So much has changed. Yet so much remains the same.

I've learned so much, especially that I have so much more yet to learn.

I'm a little different from what I used to be but... oh good God I need to stop before I keep writing these banal, hackneyed cliches.

Labels: introspective, Miami

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 11:51 PM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: SoBe ::

It recently occurred to me that despite the fact that even though my blog description reads "...waiter/bartender in South Beach..." I don't actually write that much about South Beach itself. Or for that matter, Miami in general. I've mentioned a thing or two in passing, posted a few photos, and regularly plug The Abby and a few other local spots but that's about it.

Part of it is due to the fact that it wasn't until only this past year that I viewed my stay in Miami as anything other than temporary. I still haven't really decorated my studio the way I'd like to. I still use the same silverware I brought with me from L.A., and it wasn't until two weeks ago that I finally bought some decent knives for my kitchen. (Considering how much time I spend in there, you'd think I'd have done this sooner.) It doesn't help that the rare moments when I'm looking for my "real job," most of the ad companies I look at are out of state.

There's also the impression that residing in South Beach means you're living the South Beach life of constant partying and clubbing every weekend, heavily drinking mojitos and vodka-cranberries, doing a lot of drugs, and getting laid regularly. (Um... no, no, yes but mostly beer, does caffeine count? and hell no... on the other hand my tennis grip has never been stronger.) By those narrow standards, no I'm not really experiencing South Beach but then again, I've been here long enough and seen enough of it that I'm not really sure I want to. I rarely complain about being broke the way a lot of my co-workers do.

Part of it may be because I sometimes read this blog and a slew of other Miami-based blogs I keep on my Blogroll. Most offer better insights into life in Miami and South Beach. Complaints about traffic, idiot drivers, and the occasionally feeling that you're not in America? Done.

Thoughts on the nightlife, restaurants, and sights to see? Others do it better.

Still, I moved to South Beach in September 2003 and it feels irresponsible to not write about the city that I've spent almost five years in, whether those experiences have been good or bad. I loved it when I moved here but I think it had more do to with getting a fresh start and not so much Miami itself. I know this now, but it's grown on me in ways I didn't expect.

(Also, I never really expressed the dispair I was feeling during the last few days of my last job search. If I didn't find something soon, I'd run out of money and I had to pace the possibility of moving back in with my parents. Or being homeless, and at 33, homelessness or death seem preferable. Was it really that I dreaded that move or did I come to embrace Miami as home without realizing it?)

Sure, there's things about this place that I abhor and there are still times I feel like an outsider. But the good outweighs the bad quite a bit. And I'm not quite so complacent that I'd stay here if that wasn't the case. Perhaps Miami really is home.

Or I could just change the header.

Labels: introspective, Miami, South Beach

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 9:51 PM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: Server Stories: What Else? ::

It's interesting to see the contrasts between most of my co-workers’ approach to their jobs and lives versus mine. All of us certainly work hard for our money (some more than others) and take some pride in doing our job well. But for guys like Jed and Lou, this is it for them. Jed has been working at Swanky Trendy Restaurant for over five years, which along is longer than my total waiter experience. A few years older than me, he's told me many stories about the many places he's worked at around the country.

Lou's quite a bit younger but I get the impression that he's in this line of work for the long haul as well. Theo, who’s has a wife and a mortgage, is another lifer. My buddy who works at The Abby is another great example.

The contrast between us is that when it comes to our lifestyles, they glide with an easy approach in that if they're not doing exactly what they want to be doing, they're very comfortable with who and where they are. They come to work, make their money and either go home to smoke weed or go out to the bar to have a few beers and many meet a few chicks. Before work, they're either sleeping well past noon and/or smoking more weed. And they wouldn’t have it any other way.

Granted they have other interests, as Jed has traveled to different parts of the world and Lou has smoked weed from different parts of South America. Jed in particular is quite fascinating.

But the point is that for them, this is it. They can't imagine doing anything else, not because they don’t know or they're too dumb or too lazy, but because they just don't want to or need to.

In a way, I envy that.

I've done other things, like some of these guys have. But while I do enjoy being a waiter, I can't help but feel I'm meant for something... different (I won't use words like "bigger" or "better" since that would belittle the profession and I have too much respect for service employees to do that.) Ever since I found out that the restaurant would be closing in late August, I've been saving money for when I finally leave the service industry (at least full time). I've been (very) slowly working on my portfolio to send out and it's only a matter of time before I'm back behind a desk playing with Photoshop instead of at a table trying to peddle a bottle of Perrier-Jouët.

Or so I keep telling myself.

(By the way, none of them know I have these thoughts. they're buddies and I enjoy hanging out with them but they're not people I would share this much personal depth with. Which isn't a bad thing. Very, very few people I know are people I would share stuff like this with.)

(Oh yeah, blog readers don't count.)

The reason why they're closing after eight years of business is because management is going to open a high-end, fine-dining, steakhouse right across the street. If it's anything like the other restaurant openings in South Beach, it's going to be a cash cow for everyone involved. (And unlike some of the gimmicky places that closes within two years, this place might have staying power.) Management has assured the floor and kitchen staff that as long as we do our jobs well and prove reliable we'll be invited to work at the Steakhouse. Thanks to my recent hot streak, I'm not worried about being left behind.

I've seen bits and pieces of the new place in the form of design renderings, new glass and silverware, possible menu items (and I thought prices at Swank were obscene), marketing ideas and it is impressive. Those other guys are very excited about the opening and are salivating over the possibility that the next Stone Crab season will be very lucrative.

My initial reaction to the news was tepid. Great for them, I hope they do well but I'm going to be behind a desk again by that time. (Which is another reason I'm not worried too much about going to the new place.) But the more I think about it, the more I'm starting to get sucked in. Potentially, I could make in one season (October 15 through May 15) almost as much as I would make in one full year as a Jr. Art Director.

Great, but why? I've said "one more season" last year and here I am now: same shit, different restaurant. I could make my money now but I'm already too comfortable as it is. A higher-paying job doing the same thing I do now and I might end up ensconced in my complacency and might end up doing this for a very long time.

Not that there's anything wrong with that. I've often wondered how my life would be different if I actually decided to try bartending and waiting at a younger age, and I've entertained the thought of just saying "screw it" and going into bartending full-time. I've made friends that have done very well doing this; some now own a nice condo, some have nice cars, a few have traveled, some are content just being major potheads.

But would that negate every reason for moving to Miami in the first place? Or at the very least, wouldn't that render those first two years as pointless? The late nights, the endless deadlines, the stress, thousands in student loans, all for naught? Two years followed by a gratifying end, thinking I found my career... only to discover I prefer waiting tables and tending bar?

I'm a very good waiter. I'm also a pretty good bartender. And those three months in Prague, working my ass off during that internship proved that if I really wanted to, I could be a pretty good Art Director. And I want to. But I'm left wondering what exactly it is I want more.

Labels: career, introspective, waiting

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 8:47 PM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: Dolphins ::

I never blogged about this before but, what the hell. Some of you might lose respect for me after I admit this... but I've always been a fan of Hootie and the Blowfish.

One of their early, very popular songs called "Only Wanna be with You" (which i can play and sing along to on guitar... shut up) has the lyrics "... I'm such a baby 'cause the Dolphins make me cry." For the longest time, I though these guys were environmentalists who were upset over dolphins dying in fishing nets or something.

It wasn't until I moved to Miami that I discovered that these guys, especially Hootie, are merely hardcore fans of football, specifically the Miami Dolphins.

That there, is the textbook example of something called "overthinking."

--

And as I plug the most American of all popular sports around the world, I bid you all a happy Fourth of July.

Labels: football, introspective, music, my life, thinking too much

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 2:03 AM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: Server Stories: Restless ::

Work has been taxing lately. I find myself getting irritated at things that I would normally brush off. I’ve snapped at co-others when even if they've erred, it's not my place to say so. I've fallen back into my old habit of waking up well into the afternoon not long before I have to be at work. After going steady for about two and a half months, I've stopped running... again. (I still manage to play tennis twice a week, including Saturday mornings at 10:30, which isn't as easy as it may seem since my co-workers and I usually have drinks after work on Friday nights and I seem favor whiskey over beer on weekends.)

It's several things: I've been working six nights a week every week since I got hired, and there's been a couple where I worked straight through. Conditions at work are often needlessly complicated. My co-workers and I get along great but we commiserate over drinks about what complete douchebags our managers are.

The GM, while competent, runs the floor like a communist dictator, micromanaging even insignificant details, freaking out over minutia, and pressuring the waiters into increasing our wine sales as if our lives depended on peddling an extra bottle of cabernet each night (not surprising since he's paid a wine commission). He's threatened to fire me so many times over stupid shit that has absolutely nothing to do with my performance as a waiter. They're empty threats and has more do to with him asserting his authority, but it's still annoyed me to the point that I've contemplated toilet-papering his office and his car. And while he's freaking out trying to find the culprit, I casually walk up, toss an empty roll at him and say, "here’s your reason to fire me. Oh by the way, go fuck yourself. I quit."

Antonio on the other hand, is a moron. He barely knows how to run the floor on a busy weekend, and his knowledge of the menu is pathetic. Not only did he not know what haricot vert is until I explained it to him, I overheard him explain to a customer that "Prime Black Angus" is the sauce we use on our tenderloin steak. (Thank God it wasn't my table since I would have flat out told the customers that he was wrong, making him look like an idiot... something he does nightly, whether he realizes it or not.) Every time a customer returns an item, he types it into the computer as "DINT LIKE." Now, I realize that English isn't his first language but he continues to do this despite the fact that several people have tactfully tried to explain to him that he’s spelling "didn't" wrong.

Everyone else talks even worse shit about those guys. Jed, who has worked at Swanky Trendy Restaurant for five years, knows the operation inside out, and is privy to and shares with us information that us mere peons normally wouldn't know. And I'd be lying if I wasn't a bit amused at Jed's drunken plotting to somehow get Antonio fired (amusing because if he ever stopped drinking and smoking pot, he might actually pull it off).

But this is temporary for me (of course I said that over two years ago when I started working at Seafood Grill and look where I am now) since I know for a fact that the owners plan on closing Swank to focus their efforts on a new, super fine dining steakhouse. A few want to make the transition. A few have grown weary of management and have already left or are planning their exits. I want no part of it. I'm just working my way towards leaving the business altogether.

Labels: career, introspective, waiting

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 1:55 AM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: Caught in the Rain ::

It's been raining all weekend here. I managed to drag my lazy ass out of bed yesterday morning and get in some tennis, just before it started up. It was still raining this morning but I felt oddly agitated and restless so when there was a break in the rain, I went for run. There was still a light off-and-on drizzle but it was fine. I did my usual of jog to the track and ran the bleachers.

I was doing a cool-down lap when it started coming down. I've been caught in the rain before and I usually duck under something because, well, I needed a breather. Today? I don't know why, but I kept going. Honestly, it felt great and I got a second wind. It almost felt like the crap from the last two or three months of my life were being rinsed away.

And it's true in some sense.

I don't hate going to work. I've lost weight. I now wake up well before noon even though there's no lunch shift to work.

Most of my new co-workers are pretty cool. At the last place I couldn't stand half of the waitstaff. There were maybe only three people I would consider friends.

I feel like I have more energy. Maybe it's the challenge of learning something new. Or maybe it's being in a new environment. More likely, being fired from a place I didn't like anyway gave me that wake-up kick in the ass that I so badly needed.

I see things more clearly.

It rained harder and harder as I ran. By the time I got home, my clothes were drenched and my shoes were making that squishing noise. I'm normally out of breath when I get to my apartment but I felt okay this time. I stretch, chug some water, take a hot shower and cook up a bowl of oatmeal. There really was something cleansing about running in that rain. It's something I need more of.

Labels: introspective, running, waiting

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 1:01 AM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: Job Search: Day 12 ::

To follow up yesterday's post, I get to today's interview on time and the H.R. lady tells me that the people are in a meeting and if I could wait for about thirty minutes. Great, more waiting. I say sure, and she offers me a cup of coffee, which I gladly accept. I go to the lobby and sit for a couple of minutes before I walk outside to grab a newspaper while I wait. About forty minutes later, an older guy walks up and introduces himself. He's one of the restaurant managers.

We sit down and talk. He tells me more about the restaurant and asks if I have any questions. I rack my brain trying to come up with something intelligent to ask, since I already asked quite a few questions two days ago. I inquire about employee culture, service etiquette, business volume, and anything else that might sound remotely perspicacious. This interview is a lot shorter than the other two and he tells me that someone will call within the day. Cool. I think.

I got home a little while ago and when I checked my email, there's one from the hotel. That was fast. I click it open and this part stands out:

"After careful consideration of your application, we regret to inform you that you have not been selected for this position."

Oh. Ummm... Fuck. I call the hotel and ask for the H.R. director. I cordially ask her why I was turned down. "You lacked the enthusiasm and motivation we were looking for." Huh? "We're looking for someone who displays a little more enthusiasm and the desire to work here." It had nothing to do with my work experience, my work history; it wasn't because you called my old place and found out I was fired, or my references didn't give me a glowing enough recommendation... you turned me down because I'm not enthusiastic enough?! "I see. If you don't mind giving me a little advice, what could I have done exactly to make you think differently?" I ask. "You just needed to show more enthusiasm and energy." So I should have drank more coffee before the interviews? I have this weird feeling that there's something else and she either can't or won't tell me, but why not? I'm been nothing but professional and cordial this whole time, and I'm asking for advice, why hold back? "Well, thanks anyway. I appreciate your time."

After I hang up, I put my heads in my hands and let loose a pretty loud roar. I pound my desk a few times. My cat freaks out and runs into the closet. Every interview I've ever been to, I always try to pass myself off as amicable and professional. If anyone ever asks me to point out my strengths, one of the things I mention is that I'm even-tempered and have a generally relaxed personality. It never once occurred that it might work against me. I have a good work history, my references are solid, I dressed fairly professionally, I possess a resume and a coverletter (and my own pen), I have a firm handshake, I maintain eye contact during interviews, and I don't do drugs. But that's not enough.

Then again, I did write yesterday that I had the feeling that the hotel job might bore me. Maybe that got conveyed unintentionally. When informed of my earning potential, which was a bit less than I'm used to, I may have had a negative reaction that I didn't realize. I do remember asking several questions about picking up night or bartending shifts as a way to show I can do more that just wait tables, but they might have taken that as a lack of desire to work in the morning. Maybe it's because I didn't sleep well last night. I'm not outgoing, and I'm not the most outwardly expressive person. To be completely honest, this has been a point of contention with a few people in the past, including my former employers. I don't know.

At least I don't have to cut my hair.

Labels: anger, introspective, job search, waiting

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 12:40 PM [+] :: | 0 comments
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