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:: Thursday, May 14, 2009 ::

:: Happy Mother's Day ::
My mama told me when I was young
Come sit beside me my only son
And listen closely to what I say
And if you do this it'll help you some sunny day

Take your time, don't live too fast
Troubles will come and they will pass
Go find a woman and you'll find love
And don't forget that there is someone up above

And be a simple kind of man
And be something you'll love and understand
Baby be a simple kind of man
Won't you do this for me son if you can?

Forget your lust for the rich man's gold
All that you need is in your soul
And you can do this if you try
All that I want from you my son is to be satisfied

And be a simple kind of man
And be something you'll love and understand
Baby be a simple kind of man
Won't you do this for me son if you can?

Boy don't you worry, you'll find yourself
Follow your heart and nothing else
And you can do this if you try
All that I want from you my son is to be satisfied

And be a simple kind of man
And be something you'll love and understand
Baby be a simple kind of man
Won't you do this for me son if you can?

- "Simple Man" Lynyrd Skynyrd

That's one of my favorite songs, and Skynyrd's best song not named "Freebird" (actually, I think it's their best song, period, which I know is heretical to say but, whatever). I believe any parent that has a son should play that song for him the moment he's able to comprehend music and lyrics. If my mama ever told me such things, life might have been different.

I rarely blog about my parents for reasons I won't get too specific about here. Even before I hit my teens our relationship has been anywhere from indifferent to acrimonious. Moving away helped our relationship considerably. Age and some degree of maturity helped me change my perspective since I stopped seeing them as The Worst Parents Ever to just being able to see them for the people they are.

Trying to be a good son I called my mother to wish her a Happy Mother's Day and I was treated to, for the first time in God knows how long, a pleasant surprise.

Like usual, she questioned (she used to nag) why I don't have a girlfriend (because you did your best to sap me of any self-confidence whatsoever during my formative years you megalomaniacal bitch, which I refrained from saying). Every time she does this, I always remember how she was never exactly open-minded about the ethnicities I can or can't date.

(I don't write about my ethnicity any more on this blog for reasons of anonymity and I've removed any previous mention of it. Other than the few people who know me in real life, I prefer to keep it private, though it probably isn't hard to figure out. Anyway, because I was raised in California my personality is that of your average West Coast White Guy. If you talked to me over the phone, you'd think exactly that.)

Instead I just told her I've been on some dates lately and I'm pretty sure she wouldn't like any of them because of their ethnicities. She then threw me this curveball: (Paraphrasing) "I don't care what she is. If she's a good woman and you love her, then I'll accept her, regardless of what she might be. Do you hear me? If she's a good woman and she makes you happy, that's all I care about."

[Surprised at the response.] Really.

"Absolutely. Your father feels the same way. All we care about is that she's a good woman and she makes you happy."

[I'm now wondering who this woman is and what she's done with my real mother.] That's good to know. I appreciate that.

"Yeah yeah, now tell me, have you met anyone or what?" [Oh hey mom, there you are.]

Yeah, I had a date last week. It was nice, nothing special.

"What is she?"

[Here it goes.] She's Dominican/Black. [Waiting for the tirade.]

(And I didn't say that just to bait my mother. My date is in fact, Dominican/Black. My days of doing things out of spite are behind me.)

She lets out a sigh. "Is she nice? Did you have fun?" Yeah mom, she's nice. And it was one date. Nothing more. "Listen, I meant what i said. As long as she makes you happy, that's all I care about. I just want you to be happy."

[This being the first concession she made for me, in quite possibly, my entire life I simply go along with it.] I'm glad you're opening up Mom. I appreciate it.

We talked a little more before I had to go. I worked that night but I spent the rest of the evening thinking about our talk. Before this, when I thought about her all I could remember was the negativity, the overprotective nature, and her inability to grasp how wildly different my perspective was from hers. But while I'd like to thinkI've grown and matured in the last five years, it's now apparent she's also made some progress.

I've always done my own thing without consideration for my parents feelings, and I'll be the first to admit that some of it was motivated by rebellion. Whatever I may think of her as a mother, as a person she's beyond reproach. Always generous, outgoing, caring to a fault and she could cook a killer plate of spaghetti from scratch. Whatever, it's good to know that my parents are now willing to meet me halfway on something.

Getting them to accept the fact that my hair is almost down to my butt, that might be more challenging.

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:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 5:19 PM [+] :: | 0 comments

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