:: Life on Planet Dan-E ::

Thoughts, observations, and introspections from an art student waiter/bartender in South Beach. Arcane humor ensues.
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:: Saturday, July 18, 2009 ::

:: Thinking too Much ::
"There a lady from the Lowe's Hotel sitting in the lounge. I need you to take care of her."

Why me? "The cocktail server can't take of that?"

"We don't have one anymore, remember?" Oh, right. " Besides, they want to eat dinner there so I need you to do it."

"Then why is she sitting in the lounge?" The lounge is normally a drinks-only area for people to sit while waiting for a table to open up.

"I was going to put her in your section but she said the music is way too loud."

Great. I wasn't in a bad mood or anything but I had a lot on my mind and I just wanted a smooth night. I didn't need this shit.

"Anyway, she could bring us a lot of a business so I need you to go there and pamper the fuck out of her."

Great, another high-maintenance hotel drone. I already have four tables. I let out a sigh. "Which on is she?" "The one in the black dress." "No problem."

As I approach the lounge I see it's two blondes I couldn't help but notice earlier. One is a young six-footer with long, tanned legs emerging from a painted-on, low-cut, zebra-striped mini-dress. The one in the black dress is shorter, curvier, and sporting miles of cleavage. They both very attractive, but sullen. As I get closer I notice Black Dress is a little older. In fact her and Zebra Stripes share a resemblance and... wait, is that her MOM?! Note to self-don't flirt with Zebra Stripes.

They're sitting with a greasy-looking guy in a grey suit, on the the cushy sofas that encourage lounging and the zebra mini-dress is riding up quite distractingly. Oh yeah, her legs aren't crossed. Since you're not here to read about some seedy upskirt crap I'll end it here by saying I didn't see anything. (Despite my best efforts.)

To make a long story short, I pampered the fuck out of her and even got them to splurge on some oysters, lobster, and abottle of Veuve. The Black Dress is initially grumpy but, I answer every absurd question she had, serve her exactly what she needed, and in the end, she actually smiled.

At the end of the night, I'm sitting in the the office, lost in my own thoughts as the manager looks over my paperwork. She asks me if the lady was happy.

"I don't think so."

She looks up. "What happened."

"I don't know. She just doesn't seem like a happy person. Maybe she's not content with life. Maybe she's just yearning for her lost youth."


"You look at the way she's dressed, like she's looking to recapture some of the attention she might have received she was younger. And the fact that she lets her daughter dress that way, it's almost like she's living vicariously through her kid."

The manager, by now, has her face contorted trying to figure out exactly what I'm babbling about.

"From the way she talks, the way she asked for things, her demeanor, and even her posture, she doesn't seem happy at all. Probably hasn't been happy in a long time."

She leans forward towards me and says, "Dan-E, I need you to focus and listen to my question: was she happy with her dining experience?"

"Oh." Is that what you meant. "Umm, yeah, she loved her lobster tail."

She leans back in her chair and releases an exasperated laugh. "I don't know what to make of you sometimes."

"Yeah, my mind was elsewhere."

"No kidding. Stop thinking so much."

"Yeah, I do that sometimes."

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:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 2:00 AM [+] :: | 0 comments

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