:: Life on Planet Dan-E ::

Any of you guys watch Saturday Night Live hosted by Al Gore last weekend? I tried to tape it but my VCR fell asleep. Go figure.

The highlight of my weekend was getting to meet Michael Chang for the first time. He was a guest at NewSong and did a short Q&A session up on the stage with Pastor Dave. Most tennis fans would think him to be a rather impassive person since their only exosure to him would be his televised matches and his on-court persona is that steely, stoic intensity. He also known to be less than lively during post match interviews. However I found him quite laid back and convivial while on stage and from what I hear from people who've met him, that's more indicative of his true personality.

After service, he had manned a table in the foyer and signed autographs for the stream of adoring fans. I made a mental note that morning to remember to bring a ball to church for him to autograph. It was great. He signed it "To Dan-E, Jesus loves you, M. Chang." How cool is that?! Actually, what impressed me more was that he stayed quite a while to sign autographs and take photos with people. He already did that for the two previous services and he looked tired by the time I got to him and yet, he soldiered on to make sure he got to everybody in that huge line. What a class guy.

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 6:51 PM [+] :: | 0 comments
.....

I haven't updated my blog in a while because of an injured ring finger on my left hand. I've had a splint on that finger for a week and a half now and it makes typing rather difficult since the W, S, and X keys are hard to press (that last sentence hurt to type). I ruptured a tendon on the first knuckle (the one closest to the nail) when I tried to catch a football and took it off my fingertips. I tried to play tennis the past two Tuesdays and as expected, I stunk up the courts in a way not seen since my preteen learning days when I was still playing with a metal racket. Of course, it didn't stop me from playing a few hours of football with the boys last Sunday and despite my splint, I actually had a decent game, though that's more attributed to the guys playing QB throwing really sharp passes my way. It was painful at times but hey, it's all part of the game.

One painful part (figuratively speaking) of this has been my inability to play guitar. I tried running through some scales the other night by compensating with my pinky but no go. It really sucked for me last night when IE and JK brought their gear to lead praise and let me play around with their stuff afterwards. (They sounded really good, by the way.) JK brought his Gibson SG guitar and Vox AC30 amp along and it took all my effort to not drool over his gear. That amp is my dream amp and to not be able to play through it just sucked. The thought of ripping off my splint and playing was sorely tempting I but ultimately decided against it. At least PK had his hands available and entertained everyone with his chops. I always knew he had great hands but listening to him through some really awesome equipment made him sound reaqlly great.

My finger hurts now. I need to stop typing.

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 9:07 PM [+] :: | 0 comments
.....

Happy Thanksgiving to all my readers (all six of you)! I hope you had a good one and ended up eating way too much.

I started off my Thanksgiving by going on a nice like hike up in the local mountains. It wasn't at all planned that way, starting with fact that I unexpectedly woke up at 8:00 in the morning (I was up until 4:00am the night before). My original plan was to see if I could somehow manage to stay in bed until 5:30pm or so, eat dinner, and then return to bed. As it was, my attempts to go back to sleep proved futile, despite my best effort (Dark Side of the Moon just doesn't do it anymore). So around 8:30, I got up, took peak outside and saw that it was quite a lovely day and it was then I decided right then that I really needed to go on a hike.

Where to go. Well, I had about eight hours to work with and my first thought was Joshua Tree but I quickly nixed that since it would take at least two hours just to get there. I remembered a friend of mine telling about some nice hiking trails up in the Santa Monica Mountains so I spent about five minutes looking up her e-mail so I could get directions, info, etc. In case you guys have never been there, you should know that the Santa Monica Mtns are nowhere near Santa Monica. You have to travel a good 30 miles north from the point where the 10 freeway hits PCH.

I finally left the house around 10:00. Traffic was mercifully light (though left-lane stragglers were in abundance, those bastards) and the weather was typical SoCal (warm, sunny, few clouds) which made for a great drive up PCH. I was rather surprised how many people made a trip out to the beach that day as there was more cars parked along the street and the lots for more filled than your typical late November afternoon. An added bonus was the side street I had to take to get to the trail. It's a very narrow, windy, mountainous road with a lot of hairpins and the occasional sweeping, decreasing-radius turns, which was a great opportunity to test out the grip of my new tires. I hadn't driven like that since my last car and I have to say, it was almost as fun as the hike itself.

The trail is called "Mishe Mokwa" and it's a series a smaller trails that all connect together into a circuitous route about six miles long. It was quite overgrown with a lot of shrubs and branches in the trail so it evoked the feeling of walking through an untamed forest - if that forest happened to have clearly marked trail. It took me through the mountains and treated me to some very spectacular views. I was worried initially about the hike testing my level of fitness since the map I picked up at the ranger station said that portions of the trail would be "moderate to strenuous" but as it turns out I'm in better shape than I thought. That or the trail wasn't nearly as hard as they made it out to be. Most likely the latter. Still, I walked at a brisk pace so I did work up a good sweat. I wasn't straining but four liters of water through my system wasn't enough to keep my calves from cramping. I just sweat too much. Then again, it made the peak of the trip much more enjoyable since I had to work up to it somewhat. The highest point was Sandstone Peak (elevation 3,111'). It offered 360' views from the coast all the way out to the Valley. And I have to tell you, from that angle, the Valley doesn't seem like the seedy, porn-capital-of-the-world cesspool it is. But seriously, thanks to all the winds from the week before, the view was unobstructed all the way around and as a result, quite breathtaking. I stayed up at the peak for about 20 minutes to take in the view. I would have stayed up a little longer since I brought along a book to read but unfortunately, there were other people who hiked up to that spot and I really wanted to be alone.

I worked my way back down to my car and cleaned myself up while taking in the view of the sunset. I would have liked to see it all the way down but that was still a good hour away and I wanted to get home in time for dinner. Since I'm rarely out here, I decided on a different route home. Actually, I headed north on PCH for a few miles just to see where it would take me. If you go far enough there comes a point on this highway when last bits of beachside property disappear completely and the only thing between you and the ocean is a thin strip of rocky beaches. *This" is what drving down PCH is about. After a few miles I headed back after hitting a landmark called Bass Rock since the only thing beyond that of any real interest is Santa Barbra. Well, that and a military missle testing facility and I'm guessing they don't take too kindly to strangers drifting in asking for a tour of the place. I drove until I hit Point Dume where I stopped at a gas station to get a drink but instead of taking PCH the rest of the way back, I cut across the mountains via Kanan Road, which eventually hit the 101 freeway. Kanan was a nice drive as well. It didn't have any sharp turns but it's a great, relaxing drive through the hills (literally too, as it takes you through a couple of tunnels). Freeway traffic was light and the rest of the drive home was uneventful. I need to do this more often because there are some days (weeks even) when a guy just needs to go on a hike.

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 6:53 AM [+] :: | 0 comments
.....

First bit of news I heard today was the tail end of something regarding people dying in riots during the Miss World Pageant out in Nigeria. Now maybe I've been out of touch but have women really become this catty? You'd think it'd stop at hair pulling and scratching; at worse maybe gouging out some girl's eyeball with a nail but come on, is the crown really worth rioting and killing over? Come on now ladies, eat some chocolate or something but you really need to relax a little.

Call me out of line but I'm guessing that the beauty pageant's search for relevance in this new millenium has come to a screeching halt.

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 7:20 PM [+] :: | 0 comments
.....

It must be a slow news day. There's been news on several murders occurring within a short time period, updates on the ever-fragile Middle East situation, further confrontations with Iraq, and yet what does Eyewitness News at 6:00 lead off the broadcast with? A story of Michael Jackson dangling his kid over a balcony. As if somehow Jacko behaving oddly is newsworthy? It amuses me that it even preceded a car-chase story. Go figure.

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 9:26 PM [+] :: | 0 comments
.....

Anyone who knows me knows I love eating and people who really know me know I love good barbecue. I ate at a BBQ house this weekend called Johnny Reb's, one of my favorite restaurants. It's one of those cool places that has sawdust on the floors, offers free peanuts, and allows you to discard the shells on the floor. I went with a friend who not only likes hearty food, but also possesses a unique and impressive ability to put away large amounts of food into her somewhat diminutive frame. (Not only that, she insisted on buying despite the fact that it's been over a month since my birthday. How's that for cool friends?) We started off with their onion rings, which were nice and crispy without being overly greasy. I ordered the Roadhouse Combo with the BBQ beef brisket and the beef ribs while my dining buddy had the baby back ribs and chicken. Everything was excellent. I normally don't order dessert but we split a pecan pie, which was quite heavenly. Which is saying something since this is the first time I've ever described anything as heavenly. All in all, a great way to end a great weekend.

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 7:21 PM [+] :: | 0 comments
.....

I can't believe it's been over a week since I last posted anything on my blog. I also can't believe I'm posting something at 5:40 in the morning. I finally manage to go to bed at a decent hour and it ends with me waking up in the middle of the night unable to fall back asleep. There is something really wrong with me. I haven't had any caffeine all week. In fact, the only tie I have caffeine these days is on Sundays ('cuz like, falling asleep in church is a sin. Even worse, it's embarrassing). Oh well.

So it seems the lovely J. Lo is getting married again, this time to Ben Affleck. Good for her. I have her down for 11 months in my office pool. No, but seriously. It's easy for me to see Ben's attraction towards her. Think about it. His best known relationship to date has been with Gwenyth Paltrow, a talented actress with a moderate ability to sing, but known to repressed, WASP-y, spoiled, demanding, and is constantly displaying diva-like behavior. While Jennifer Lopez is also a talented actress with a moderate ability to sing, she instead is a fiery Latina, who is known to be spoiled, demanding, and constantly displaying diva-like behavior. There was a time a few years back when I liked Miss Lopez as an actress (partly due to her great a&$) but ever since someone made the mistake of telling her she could sing (as well as her hookup with Puff Daddy; which by the way, made me realize I didn't have what it takes to date her being as it I'm not nearly rich enough, pretentious enough, and sorely lacking in the ability to make a living on the backs of other musician's creativity) my appreciation of her has waned somehwat.. Listen to me. Writing all this down as if I'm some renowned entertainment columnist. But hey, it is my blog. My advice to Ben: stay in shape so you'll look good for your second wedding

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 9:04 AM [+] :: | 0 comments
.....

Not to get all nostalgic on you readers but it was great for me to see Walter Mondale come out of retirement back into the political arena for one last electoral beat-down. Seriously now, what was he thinking? My last memory of him - and a rather vague memory at that - was back in 1984 when he ran against Reagan and got beaten like a narc at a Snoop Dogg concert. I was completely ignorant of politics back then (not unlike now) but I knew enough to know that it looked bad for the Democrats because when I went to bed that night Reagan had 197 electoral votes and Mondale had 2. Now, that's only 2 more than I had and I wasn't even old enough to run. Ever since then, he's been a non-presense to the public limelight and really, can one blame him? He spends several million on a presidential campaign and some 10 year old almost ties him.

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 2:47 AM [+] :: | 0 comments
.....

I hate Yahoo's Fantasy Football. Not just because my team is probably gonna lose two straight weeks and drop to 3-4, but because.... oh who am I kidding. It's because my team is probably gonna lose two straight weeks and drop to 3-4.

At least my other team is doing better. It seems I'm now in sole possesion of first place in my Sandbox Fantasy Football League. Woohoo! The dude I played this weekend was the one who used to be in first and to be honest, I thought I might lose to him. Listening to the sports updates throughout the day wasn't very encouraging, as a lot of my players didn't score TDs. I only scored 70 points total but it was just enough to squeak by. I am now 7-1. Cool :)

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 2:41 AM [+] :: | 0 comments
.....

I kill myself sometimes. I was reading over the previous post and I realized the movie title is wrong. The proper title is "Star Wars: Attack of the Clones." I typed in "Star Wars: When Clones Attack." Which when you think about it, might make an intersting FOX TV special in about 15 or so years. Hehehe. I was going to go back and fix it but decided that some results of my mental lapses are just to funny to keep to myself.

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 6:40 AM [+] :: | 0 comments
.....

I just saw "Star Wars Episode II: When Clones Attack" on the huge IMAX screen up in LA tonight and I gotta tell ya, it was pretty cool. My initial impression of the movie was that it was a great popcorn flick with some great action scenes, but that's about it. As Star Wars film though, it was highly lackluster (how's that for an oxymoron?) in terms of story, but I'll save that rant for another post.

Seeing it on IMAX was great because not only is everything magnified, the digital projection system gives every shot beautifully saturated images. There was the AWESOME speaker system that puts you virtually in the middle of the action. So much so that during the climactic lightsaber scene you could almost feel one of them slash you across your chest. The best part about it was that LucasFilm had to edit out about 10-15 minutes worth of material in order to screen it on IMAX so a lot of the scenes from the original cut that were just horrible were left out, thank goodness. I was especially grateful for them cutting the "Sound of Music" scene: Princess Amidala running across a lush green prairie moments before frolicking in the grass with Anakin was just... awkward. And never mind the horrible dialogue. That scene was proof to me that Lucas coming very close to completely losing his sense of reality. I mean really, can you just imagine what the actors' reactions might have been upon reading this scene in the script? "You want us to do what? Who the hell does this s*** anymore?" Well, that's what my reaction would have been, along with numerous exclamations of "who the hell talks like this?!"

Ok, I said I wouldn't rant about the shortcomings of this film since Lucas had the good sense to eliminate the more obvious ones from this particular cut. Still, it could have been so much better from the beginning if Lucas simply had the foresight to hire outside help to fix the more egregious elements of the script and... There I go again. I'm gonna stop now.

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 6:12 AM [+] :: | 0 comments
.....

Well Halloween was pretty fun. It's been a few years since I played dress-up for any type of costume event and tonight's little shindig at TP's gave me a chance to be someone else. Now, me being me, I didn't really "dress up" as much as the other people there. My outfit was The Edge from U2 wearing his Elevation Tour clothes. Not very complicated as all I needed was jeans, long sleeve shirt under a T-shirt and a beanie. I even had the proper goatee so I managed to pull it off. I didn't expect everyone to figure it out but the music fans like Boo, Injoong, and Peter picked it up immediately. It probably helped that I wore a U2 concert T-shirt that had The Edge's image on the front so those who don't listen to real music might catch on to who I was ;)

There were a lot of great costumes there. PK looked great dressed as a knight, and his other half TP was a very non-gay looking Pirate (despite sporting the male-cleavage enhancing drawstring front shirt which, shockingly enough, he owns). We also had an awesome looking Gandalf, a couple of 70's Charlie's Angels (sekshi), the Phantom from Phantom of the Opera (face mask and everything), and even a guy dressed as one of the great pop-culture icons: Jack of Jack in the Box. There was a vote going around to determine at the end of the night which male and female had the best costumes and Gandalf and the blonde Angel won it. They really did have the best outfits.

Boo took some great photos from the party so click here to check them out.

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 4:20 AM [+] :: | 0 comments
.....

The Angels win the World Series! The Angels win the World Series! The Angels win the World Series! Or rather, being a Dodgers fan first it's more along the lines of the Giants lose!!! The Giants lose!!! The Giants lose!!! I take back what I said the other day. The Giants did not lose because they were dejected from losing Game 6. I sensed some defiance and from-the-heart effort from some players. No. They were shut down because that Lackey kid pitched one hell of a game.

World Champion Anaheim Angels. That just sounds odd. All those years of near misses and talk of "potential" and now these guys finally pull it off. It's not quite as dramatic as say, the Clippers being world champs or the Bengals taking the Super Bowl but I don't think anyone expected the Halos win. I didn't. I though it'd be a Twins/Dodgers (hoping for, really) but then, what the hell do I know. Not just win but in the way they did it. They certainly gave us more than their fair share of heart-pounding and gut-wrenching moments. Great for them, though.

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 11:36 PM [+] :: | 0 comments
.....

I can't sleep again. I hate these time changes. You'd think turning the clock back and getting the extra hour of sleep might help but not in my case. And it gets dark so freakin' early! Even going into daylight savings time takes me a good three days before I feel back to normal. Ugh. I've been good these past few months but I think I'm gonna start drinking coffee again.

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 6:48 AM [+] :: | 0 comments
.....

WOW. How 'bout them Angels? Down 5-0 in the 7th inning and they come back with six runs to win the crucial game 6. I'm telling you, they're gonna go all the way. Not only because of the way the Halos are playing but the because Gaints are completely demoralized by this loss.

I started watching the game a little late and it was already 5-0 in the 6th inning when I switched on the TV. Upon seeing the score, I said to myself, rather dryly, "great, we have the Giants right where we want them." Because that's what the Angels do. They give up leads and lull the opposing team into a false sense of security. After which they somehow come back in one huge inning and take the game. God bless that Monkey.

But seriously, I know they're a great team known for comebacks and all but this is getting a little crazy. My friend the Giant-hater is having ulcers because of games like these. Oh, and I love this part; if I heard correctly, the Giants have lost every game that Bonds has homered in this last series. To which I say, go Barry!!! In fact, do whatever you want. Be self-aggrandizing. Be truculent with the media. You can even take those extended walks between pitches (make yourself a sandwich if you'd like). You go hit them home runs, accumilate that otherworldy batting average/slugging percentage, pad your stats and win yourself the batting title. This way you'll seal your place in baseball history as the greatest hitter never to win the World Series.

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 5:35 AM [+] :: | 0 comments
.....

I got this thing via mass e-mail from a friend so I figured oh, what the hell.

1. what time is it? 3:14 am (#@*&$^ insomnia)
2. name that appears on your birth certificate: It's not English
3. nickname? Dan-E (heavy emphasis on the "E"), Bono, Dork, Dude, and others I can't type here
4. number of candles to appear on your next birthday cake: 29
5. date that you will blow them out: - I forget
6. pets? - alive? - none
7. eye color: - brown
8. hair color: - blackish brown
9. piercing? - A girl once told me I had a piercing stare. Does that count?
10. Do you call it pop or soda or coke? - Soda
11. how much do you love your job? - About as much as getting bitten in the nutsack by a rabid dog
12. favorite color: - Red
13. high school: - Narbonne
14. current residence - Gardena
15. what is your favorite food? - Steak, fish tacos, mexican, sushi (the hardcore raw stuff)
16. been to Africa? - No
17. been toilet papering? - No
18. Loved someone so much it made you cry? - No
19. Been in a car accident? - Yes
20. Sprite or 7-up: - Sprite
21. Favorite movie: - In what genre?
22. Favorite holiday: - July 4th
23. Favorite day of the week: - Friday-Sunday
24. Favorite word or phrase: - Tie: "Dude!" and "yippie ky-yay-ay mother#*&%$@"
25. Favorite toothpaste: - Crest
26. Favorite restaurant: - Redondo Beach Brewing Company
27. Favorite flowers: - uh, no
28. If you could choose to be a great leader or a great intellect or a great artist: - Artist
29. Favorite sport to watch: - Football!!!
30. Preferred type ice cream: - Ben & Jerry's Karamel Sutra
31. Favorite sesame street character: Cookie Monster
32. Disney or Warner bros.? - Warner Brothers
33. Favorite fast food restaurant: - Amigos Tacos
34. When was your last hospital visit? - I don't remember
35. What color is your bedroom carpet? - Beige
36. How many times did you fail your driver's test? - None
37. Who was the last person you got email from before this? - Shelly
38. Have you ever been convicted of a crime? - No
39. What single store would you choose to max out your credit card in? - Guitar Center. (Oh wait, I already did that)
40. What do you do most often when you're bored? - Play guitar, read, update my blog, etc
41. Name the person you are friends with that lives the farthest away: - Madison (San Jose)
42. Most annoying thing people ask me - Did you dye your goatee?
43. Bedtime: 2-4 am
44. Who will respond the quickest? - n/a
45. Leno or Letterman or Conan? - Letterman
46. Favorite all time TV shows: - Tie: Friends/SportsNight/Ed
47. Last person you went out to dinner with: Brian Nilges
48. Last movie you saw: - Insomnia (rental)
49. last book you read: - "Executive Order" by Tom Clancy
50. Dream car: - 1971 Ferrari 246 Dino
51. A place you want to visit before you die: Dublin, Ireland
52. time when you finished: 3:25 am (#*&()$^&*($^ Insomnia!!!)

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 6:25 AM [+] :: |
.....

So it's going to be a West Coast Series! I never thought I'd be saying this but, GO ANGELS! It's been an exciting couple of series and I have to admit, I'm quite impressed with this team of scrappy hitters. It's not so much that they've reached the world series as much as the way they've made it. They beat the Yankees in four games in the first round, and not just by sneaking by, they won emphatically by walking up to the Yanks and smacking them across their bloated heads. Same with the Twins. When the Twins threatened in the last game with a 5-3 lead, the Angels said "NO! Not in our house!" So what do they do? Send every-other-day benchwarmer Adam Kennedy out there to smack his THIRD homer of the night. And he was merely the catalyst for that inning. How many times have you seen a 10-run inning in the post season? Not only have they been impressive, they're making it quite fun!

The games may have been a little too exciting, though. It makes you wonder about the die hard Angels fans who've been there from day one. Just how many games in the last two rounds have they had the early lead, lost the lead, them came back with a huge inning and won it? How many times can one team possibly do that in one week? These fans must be having ulcers by now. Still they've done it enough times that I'm conviced they can go all the way. Go Soscia! Kill the Giants!!!

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 8:35 PM [+] :: | 0 comments
.....

I would have updated my blog sooner except Blogger was having a few problems with their server. Looks like it's all fixed now.

Anyway, I had a pretty good weekend. My best friend Brian got four tickets to the Laugh Factory in Hollywood. I knew he and I were gonna hang out but he got extra tickets for his little sister and her best friend, which was cool. We had to get there by 9:30 to secure our reserved spots for the 10:00pm show. Our plan was the get some snacks on the way up and go to Pink's Hotdogs after. Good plan, except a certain member of our party was a good forty minutes late, so we had to go straight there. Did I mention this person also ate beforehand? Needless to say, I was starving. Not just because I'm a pig who's always hungry but I just played a rigorous game of tackle football. Brian and I figured that the club would serve munchies there. What we didn't figure on was the minimalist menu. Five meager items? Come on! I realize that food is secondary at a comedy club, except I've been to other clubs that do have decent menus. So anyway, out of the five items, we ordered the chips and salsa since they looked the least horrible, or so we thought. I'm sure most of you are familiar with the "restaurant style" chips most places serve. Or even the "restaurant style" chips that you can buy in a bag. This place gave us chips that looked, felt, and tasted "out of the bag style"… after the bag had been left open for a couple hours. I have no proof, but I'm certain we were eating Tostitos round corn chips. Even the tepid salsa was of the canned variety. Not that I was complaining at the time, because when you're hungry, food is food.

Fortunately, the comedians (the real reason for being there) were all funny. And I'm not just saying that because I'm easily amused. It was cool to see pseudo-celebrity David Allan Grier perform. I still remember him from the "In Living Color" days and it seems he displays his best stuff on a live stage.

Once the show was over we finally headed out to get some real food. FOOD! We went to Pink's Hotdogs. I love this place. The food is so blatantly, gloriously unhealthy. I had the Polish-Pastrami Dog and this thing called the "Lakers 3-peat Dog." It's three hot dogs, three strips of bacon, three slices of cheese, and a huge glop of chili all wrapped inside a tortilla. It was GOOD. The scary thing was I was still hungry after all that. I probably should have ordered my usual: the Double Poli-Bacon-Chili Cheeseburger. Two hamburger patties, a polish sausage sliced in half and placed on top of the patties, bacon, a scoop of chili, all in one burger. That's some good eatin'.

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 4:08 AM [+] :: | 0 comments
.....

I just got back from small group - back to the office, by the way - and I was thinking about one of the activities we did tonight. We split up the guys and girls and had each group make a list of positive attributes one might look for in the opposite gender. The guys group (which I was in, just in case you're confused) came up with a fairly comprehensive list. Things like honesty, good cook, Godly, passionate, loyal, Cantonese, just to name a few. What kinda scared me about the women's group was that they needed an entire notepad to list their needs. Wha? We just barely filled one sheet of paper on both sides and they're asking for more paper? *COUGHhmCOUGH* Good gawd.

Anyway, that got me thinking about a conversation I had with a different group of friend a few weeks ago. What five qualities must a woman have to draw my interest? In no particular order, here they are:

1. A pulse. No necrophilia for me.
2. A four limbs, preferably intact.
3. Disease-free. Enough said.
4. A complete disinterest in (my) physical appearance. Which is good for some who looks like me
5. A fairly good grasp of the English language. No FOBs, please.

So there you have it. And while I realize my standards seem quite high, I know there are women that fit the above qualifications out there. If any of you readers know this woman, hook it up dude!

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 3:34 AM [+] :: | 0 comments
.....

I finally checked the scores for my Fantasy Football teams. 94 points in my Yahoo league!!! Yes! Not that I should get too happy because, technically, it doesn't mean too much since this was my bye week. Still, in terms of raw points I'm second only to the Whittier Locos... who also happen to be the only undefeated team. The very same Locos who thought they could win with Elvis Grbac at QB last year (please). I suppose if San Diego can start the season 4-1, anything is possible.

I really shouldn't be talking trash about a team that somehow, someway, with that sorry lineup, beat my team last season. Oh yeah, my only defeat (so far) this year is to, you guessed it, the Whittier freakin' Locos. It must be one of those odd Cowboys/Redskins type matchups (no matter how bad the 'Boys are, they somehow always manage to beat the 'Skins). Then again, when looking at the similar Jets/Dolphins matchup, Miami finally beat them last weekend after suffering eight straight losses to the Jets. So maybe I'll get my first victory over the Locos the second time around. Not that beating the Jets is that great an accomplishment. These guys are so bad that now Clippers fans have someone to look down on. Speaking of sucky teams, you know it's autumn in New York when New Yorkers change the bumper stickers that say "Mets Suck" to "Jets Suck." *rimshot*.

It's gratifying to see that I can do better in my second year, though finishing 6th out of fourteen isn't too bad for a rookie. Especially so since I'm playing mostly the same guys, a few of which are fantasy studs. There are some tough games ahead and I'm approaching the upcoming weeks with caution since and I have a unique ability to mis-manage a team in spectacular fashion.

Still, it's only a game, and a very sedentary, desk-jockey sort of game at that and given the option, I'd rather be out there playing football on a field with the guys. Those guys and I played some tackle football (Oz rules, meaning no pads) last Saturday and it was a whole lot of fun. Not so much the getting tackled part, but the extra thrill of playing a contact sport when it involves actual contact. Unlike flag football, this is a game where my mass is an advantage. I'm still sore, but it's that good kind of sore, similar to how you feel after a good workout. There's that little bit of dull pain that runs through my arms every time I stretch, and yet, I keep stretching because for whatever reason, that pain feels good. What, me? Weird?

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 11:36 PM [+] :: | 0 comments
.....

Something funny just occured to me while I was munching on a salad: my blog title has double meanings. My initial reason for "Planet Dan-E" was due to the fact that I've often had people wondering (probably with valid reason) what planet I'm from. If you're wondering about that, I'm guessing some of it's due to my sense of humor, which is quite dry, obscure, esoteric, and kinda way out there. Some of it is credited to my many personality quirks which are a bit too numerous to list here.

But it just dawned on me - and this is the funny part - "Planet Dan-E" could also point to the fact that earlier this year, my midsection was large enough and round enough that from some angles, it could actually resemble a planet. And I, as a whole, took up about as much room. Ain't that just hilarious?

Hahahaha, I kill me.

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 10:01 PM [+] :: | 0 comments
.....

It's after 5am and I've just finished watching SportsCenter. Good show except for the seemingly endless "Giants beat the Braves" highlights. Too bad the Braves were too busy chopping their arms to come up with a game plan. Which part of "pitch around Bonds" do these players not understand? Don't pitch to him! Or if you do, plunk him! I've seen multiple interviews of players saying, rather boldy, things to the effect of "we're not going to let Barry Bonds beat us." Well, golly people, Barry Bonds just beat you! And thanks to him, you chop-happy Braves get to go home early, sit around and practice that chopping motion on your own tomohawks!

NO, I'M NOT BITTER!

The saving grace were the Monday Night Football highlights. Not that I'm a huge fan of either Green Bay or Chicago but that matchup is usually fun to watch. Partly because of the intense rivalry and partly because Brett Favre manages at least a couple of spectacular plays almost every game. It's amazing how makes average wideouts look like seasoned Pro-Bowlers. I'm telling you, that kid has one hell of a career ahead of him.

I managed to get through the Braves/Giants segments (barely) by flipping back and forth between SportsCenter and a (lame) movie called "Woman on Top," the (so called) romantic comedy (a term I use loosely) with Penelope Cruz. All I can say is while Cruz is quite the firey little chipotle, I'm so glad I didn't get dragged to see this turgid pile of dung in the theater. To royally screw up what's supposed to be light-hearted movie after casting a smoldering (svelte, doe-eyed, full-lipped, olive-skinned) beauty as the lead is something that's hard to do. And yet... that's what the filmmakers (another term I use loosely) somehow achieve. The plot devices were both stupid and illogical, the story itself was highly lame, and worst of all, it wasn't that funny.

Ugh, I should be sleeping. Or at least in my bed reading something. It's too odd an hour to be writing about this sort of thing. Insomnia SUCKS, can I tell you? I mean, I was really hoping that my second post would be something heartfelt and meaningful. Instead it's a rant on a hated baseball team and a totally sucky film. Yeah, my weblog is off to a great start. =P

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 8:13 AM [+] :: | 0 comments
.....

Welcome to Planet Dan-E. I am your host and author, Dan-E. First off, a caveat: My knowledge of html is virtually zero, so if not for Blogger's templates, this would be the plainest looking weblog page ever. If you're looking for an attractive site or posts filled with links to my various and what will occasionally be arcane references, look elsewhere.

Second caveat, and on a deeper level. I have no idea what direction this blog thing is going to go. It could be a semi-amusing collection of my random thoughts, a platform for me to pontificate on various current issues, or perhaps a way of slowly releasing all the skeletons I have in my closet (or not). Nor do I have any idea how long or how regularly I'll be doing this. I could still be posting weekly three years for now, or I could realize that this is not for me and shut it down by next month.

At the very least, you should find my posts entertaining. Thanks for coming and read on!

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 9:04 PM [+] :: | 0 comments
.....