:: Life on Planet Dan-E ::

Thoughts, observations, and introspections from an art student waiter/bartender in South Beach. Arcane humor ensues.
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:: Monday, October 28, 2002 ::

The Angels win the World Series! The Angels win the World Series! The Angels win the World Series! Or rather, being a Dodgers fan first it's more along the lines of the Giants lose!!! The Giants lose!!! The Giants lose!!! I take back what I said the other day. The Giants did not lose because they were dejected from losing Game 6. I sensed some defiance and from-the-heart effort from some players. No. They were shut down because that Lackey kid pitched one hell of a game.

World Champion Anaheim Angels. That just sounds odd. All those years of near misses and talk of "potential" and now these guys finally pull it off. It's not quite as dramatic as say, the Clippers being world champs or the Bengals taking the Super Bowl but I don't think anyone expected the Halos win. I didn't. I though it'd be a Twins/Dodgers (hoping for, really) but then, what the hell do I know. Not just win but in the way they did it. They certainly gave us more than their fair share of heart-pounding and gut-wrenching moments. Great for them, though.

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 11:36 PM [+] :: | 0 comments
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I can't sleep again. I hate these time changes. You'd think turning the clock back and getting the extra hour of sleep might help but not in my case. And it gets dark so freakin' early! Even going into daylight savings time takes me a good three days before I feel back to normal. Ugh. I've been good these past few months but I think I'm gonna start drinking coffee again.

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 6:48 AM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: Sunday, October 27, 2002 ::
WOW. How 'bout them Angels? Down 5-0 in the 7th inning and they come back with six runs to win the crucial game 6. I'm telling you, they're gonna go all the way. Not only because of the way the Halos are playing but the because Gaints are completely demoralized by this loss.

I started watching the game a little late and it was already 5-0 in the 6th inning when I switched on the TV. Upon seeing the score, I said to myself, rather dryly, "great, we have the Giants right where we want them." Because that's what the Angels do. They give up leads and lull the opposing team into a false sense of security. After which they somehow come back in one huge inning and take the game. God bless that Monkey.

But seriously, I know they're a great team known for comebacks and all but this is getting a little crazy. My friend the Giant-hater is having ulcers because of games like these. Oh, and I love this part; if I heard correctly, the Giants have lost every game that Bonds has homered in this last series. To which I say, go Barry!!! In fact, do whatever you want. Be self-aggrandizing. Be truculent with the media. You can even take those extended walks between pitches (make yourself a sandwich if you'd like). You go hit them home runs, accumilate that otherworldy batting average/slugging percentage, pad your stats and win yourself the batting title. This way you'll seal your place in baseball history as the greatest hitter never to win the World Series.

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 5:35 AM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: Monday, October 21, 2002 ::
I got this thing via mass e-mail from a friend so I figured oh, what the hell.

1. what time is it? 3:14 am (#@*&$^ insomnia)
2. name that appears on your birth certificate: It's not English
3. nickname? Dan-E (heavy emphasis on the "E"), Bono, Dork, Dude, and others I can't type here
4. number of candles to appear on your next birthday cake: 29
5. date that you will blow them out: - I forget
6. pets? - alive? - none
7. eye color: - brown
8. hair color: - blackish brown
9. piercing? - A girl once told me I had a piercing stare. Does that count?
10. Do you call it pop or soda or coke? - Soda
11. how much do you love your job? - About as much as getting bitten in the nutsack by a rabid dog
12. favorite color: - Red
13. high school: - Narbonne
14. current residence - Gardena
15. what is your favorite food? - Steak, fish tacos, mexican, sushi (the hardcore raw stuff)
16. been to Africa? - No
17. been toilet papering? - No
18. Loved someone so much it made you cry? - No
19. Been in a car accident? - Yes
20. Sprite or 7-up: - Sprite
21. Favorite movie: - In what genre?
22. Favorite holiday: - July 4th
23. Favorite day of the week: - Friday-Sunday
24. Favorite word or phrase: - Tie: "Dude!" and "yippie ky-yay-ay mother#*&%$@"
25. Favorite toothpaste: - Crest
26. Favorite restaurant: - Redondo Beach Brewing Company
27. Favorite flowers: - uh, no
28. If you could choose to be a great leader or a great intellect or a great artist: - Artist
29. Favorite sport to watch: - Football!!!
30. Preferred type ice cream: - Ben & Jerry's Karamel Sutra
31. Favorite sesame street character: Cookie Monster
32. Disney or Warner bros.? - Warner Brothers
33. Favorite fast food restaurant: - Amigos Tacos
34. When was your last hospital visit? - I don't remember
35. What color is your bedroom carpet? - Beige
36. How many times did you fail your driver's test? - None
37. Who was the last person you got email from before this? - Shelly
38. Have you ever been convicted of a crime? - No
39. What single store would you choose to max out your credit card in? - Guitar Center. (Oh wait, I already did that)
40. What do you do most often when you're bored? - Play guitar, read, update my blog, etc
41. Name the person you are friends with that lives the farthest away: - Madison (San Jose)
42. Most annoying thing people ask me - Did you dye your goatee?
43. Bedtime: 2-4 am
44. Who will respond the quickest? - n/a
45. Leno or Letterman or Conan? - Letterman
46. Favorite all time TV shows: - Tie: Friends/SportsNight/Ed
47. Last person you went out to dinner with: Brian Nilges
48. Last movie you saw: - Insomnia (rental)
49. last book you read: - "Executive Order" by Tom Clancy
50. Dream car: - 1971 Ferrari 246 Dino
51. A place you want to visit before you die: Dublin, Ireland
52. time when you finished: 3:25 am (#*&()$^&*($^ Insomnia!!!)

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 6:25 AM [+] :: |
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:: Wednesday, October 16, 2002 ::
So it's going to be a West Coast Series! I never thought I'd be saying this but, GO ANGELS! It's been an exciting couple of series and I have to admit, I'm quite impressed with this team of scrappy hitters. It's not so much that they've reached the world series as much as the way they've made it. They beat the Yankees in four games in the first round, and not just by sneaking by, they won emphatically by walking up to the Yanks and smacking them across their bloated heads. Same with the Twins. When the Twins threatened in the last game with a 5-3 lead, the Angels said "NO! Not in our house!" So what do they do? Send every-other-day benchwarmer Adam Kennedy out there to smack his THIRD homer of the night. And he was merely the catalyst for that inning. How many times have you seen a 10-run inning in the post season? Not only have they been impressive, they're making it quite fun!

The games may have been a little too exciting, though. It makes you wonder about the die hard Angels fans who've been there from day one. Just how many games in the last two rounds have they had the early lead, lost the lead, them came back with a huge inning and won it? How many times can one team possibly do that in one week? These fans must be having ulcers by now. Still they've done it enough times that I'm conviced they can go all the way. Go Soscia! Kill the Giants!!!

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 8:35 PM [+] :: | 0 comments
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I would have updated my blog sooner except Blogger was having a few problems with their server. Looks like it's all fixed now.

Anyway, I had a pretty good weekend. My best friend Brian got four tickets to the Laugh Factory in Hollywood. I knew he and I were gonna hang out but he got extra tickets for his little sister and her best friend, which was cool. We had to get there by 9:30 to secure our reserved spots for the 10:00pm show. Our plan was the get some snacks on the way up and go to Pink's Hotdogs after. Good plan, except a certain member of our party was a good forty minutes late, so we had to go straight there. Did I mention this person also ate beforehand? Needless to say, I was starving. Not just because I'm a pig who's always hungry but I just played a rigorous game of tackle football. Brian and I figured that the club would serve munchies there. What we didn't figure on was the minimalist menu. Five meager items? Come on! I realize that food is secondary at a comedy club, except I've been to other clubs that do have decent menus. So anyway, out of the five items, we ordered the chips and salsa since they looked the least horrible, or so we thought. I'm sure most of you are familiar with the "restaurant style" chips most places serve. Or even the "restaurant style" chips that you can buy in a bag. This place gave us chips that looked, felt, and tasted "out of the bag style"… after the bag had been left open for a couple hours. I have no proof, but I'm certain we were eating Tostitos round corn chips. Even the tepid salsa was of the canned variety. Not that I was complaining at the time, because when you're hungry, food is food.

Fortunately, the comedians (the real reason for being there) were all funny. And I'm not just saying that because I'm easily amused. It was cool to see pseudo-celebrity David Allan Grier perform. I still remember him from the "In Living Color" days and it seems he displays his best stuff on a live stage.

Once the show was over we finally headed out to get some real food. FOOD! We went to Pink's Hotdogs. I love this place. The food is so blatantly, gloriously unhealthy. I had the Polish-Pastrami Dog and this thing called the "Lakers 3-peat Dog." It's three hot dogs, three strips of bacon, three slices of cheese, and a huge glop of chili all wrapped inside a tortilla. It was GOOD. The scary thing was I was still hungry after all that. I probably should have ordered my usual: the Double Poli-Bacon-Chili Cheeseburger. Two hamburger patties, a polish sausage sliced in half and placed on top of the patties, bacon, a scoop of chili, all in one burger. That's some good eatin'.

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 4:08 AM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: Friday, October 11, 2002 ::
I just got back from small group - back to the office, by the way - and I was thinking about one of the activities we did tonight. We split up the guys and girls and had each group make a list of positive attributes one might look for in the opposite gender. The guys group (which I was in, just in case you're confused) came up with a fairly comprehensive list. Things like honesty, good cook, Godly, passionate, loyal, Cantonese, just to name a few. What kinda scared me about the women's group was that they needed an entire notepad to list their needs. Wha? We just barely filled one sheet of paper on both sides and they're asking for more paper? *COUGHhmCOUGH* Good gawd.

Anyway, that got me thinking about a conversation I had with a different group of friend a few weeks ago. What five qualities must a woman have to draw my interest? In no particular order, here they are:

1. A pulse. No necrophilia for me.
2. A four limbs, preferably intact.
3. Disease-free. Enough said.
4. A complete disinterest in (my) physical appearance. Which is good for some who looks like me
5. A fairly good grasp of the English language. No FOBs, please.

So there you have it. And while I realize my standards seem quite high, I know there are women that fit the above qualifications out there. If any of you readers know this woman, hook it up dude!

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 3:34 AM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: Wednesday, October 09, 2002 ::
I finally checked the scores for my Fantasy Football teams. 94 points in my Yahoo league!!! Yes! Not that I should get too happy because, technically, it doesn't mean too much since this was my bye week. Still, in terms of raw points I'm second only to the Whittier Locos... who also happen to be the only undefeated team. The very same Locos who thought they could win with Elvis Grbac at QB last year (please). I suppose if San Diego can start the season 4-1, anything is possible.

I really shouldn't be talking trash about a team that somehow, someway, with that sorry lineup, beat my team last season. Oh yeah, my only defeat (so far) this year is to, you guessed it, the Whittier freakin' Locos. It must be one of those odd Cowboys/Redskins type matchups (no matter how bad the 'Boys are, they somehow always manage to beat the 'Skins). Then again, when looking at the similar Jets/Dolphins matchup, Miami finally beat them last weekend after suffering eight straight losses to the Jets. So maybe I'll get my first victory over the Locos the second time around. Not that beating the Jets is that great an accomplishment. These guys are so bad that now Clippers fans have someone to look down on. Speaking of sucky teams, you know it's autumn in New York when New Yorkers change the bumper stickers that say "Mets Suck" to "Jets Suck." *rimshot*.

It's gratifying to see that I can do better in my second year, though finishing 6th out of fourteen isn't too bad for a rookie. Especially so since I'm playing mostly the same guys, a few of which are fantasy studs. There are some tough games ahead and I'm approaching the upcoming weeks with caution since and I have a unique ability to mis-manage a team in spectacular fashion.

Still, it's only a game, and a very sedentary, desk-jockey sort of game at that and given the option, I'd rather be out there playing football on a field with the guys. Those guys and I played some tackle football (Oz rules, meaning no pads) last Saturday and it was a whole lot of fun. Not so much the getting tackled part, but the extra thrill of playing a contact sport when it involves actual contact. Unlike flag football, this is a game where my mass is an advantage. I'm still sore, but it's that good kind of sore, similar to how you feel after a good workout. There's that little bit of dull pain that runs through my arms every time I stretch, and yet, I keep stretching because for whatever reason, that pain feels good. What, me? Weird?

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 11:36 PM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: Tuesday, October 08, 2002 ::
Something funny just occured to me while I was munching on a salad: my blog title has double meanings. My initial reason for "Planet Dan-E" was due to the fact that I've often had people wondering (probably with valid reason) what planet I'm from. If you're wondering about that, I'm guessing some of it's due to my sense of humor, which is quite dry, obscure, esoteric, and kinda way out there. Some of it is credited to my many personality quirks which are a bit too numerous to list here.

But it just dawned on me - and this is the funny part - "Planet Dan-E" could also point to the fact that earlier this year, my midsection was large enough and round enough that from some angles, it could actually resemble a planet. And I, as a whole, took up about as much room. Ain't that just hilarious?

Hahahaha, I kill me.

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 10:01 PM [+] :: | 0 comments
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It's after 5am and I've just finished watching SportsCenter. Good show except for the seemingly endless "Giants beat the Braves" highlights. Too bad the Braves were too busy chopping their arms to come up with a game plan. Which part of "pitch around Bonds" do these players not understand? Don't pitch to him! Or if you do, plunk him! I've seen multiple interviews of players saying, rather boldy, things to the effect of "we're not going to let Barry Bonds beat us." Well, golly people, Barry Bonds just beat you! And thanks to him, you chop-happy Braves get to go home early, sit around and practice that chopping motion on your own tomohawks!

NO, I'M NOT BITTER!

The saving grace were the Monday Night Football highlights. Not that I'm a huge fan of either Green Bay or Chicago but that matchup is usually fun to watch. Partly because of the intense rivalry and partly because Brett Favre manages at least a couple of spectacular plays almost every game. It's amazing how makes average wideouts look like seasoned Pro-Bowlers. I'm telling you, that kid has one hell of a career ahead of him.

I managed to get through the Braves/Giants segments (barely) by flipping back and forth between SportsCenter and a (lame) movie called "Woman on Top," the (so called) romantic comedy (a term I use loosely) with Penelope Cruz. All I can say is while Cruz is quite the firey little chipotle, I'm so glad I didn't get dragged to see this turgid pile of dung in the theater. To royally screw up what's supposed to be light-hearted movie after casting a smoldering (svelte, doe-eyed, full-lipped, olive-skinned) beauty as the lead is something that's hard to do. And yet... that's what the filmmakers (another term I use loosely) somehow achieve. The plot devices were both stupid and illogical, the story itself was highly lame, and worst of all, it wasn't that funny.

Ugh, I should be sleeping. Or at least in my bed reading something. It's too odd an hour to be writing about this sort of thing. Insomnia SUCKS, can I tell you? I mean, I was really hoping that my second post would be something heartfelt and meaningful. Instead it's a rant on a hated baseball team and a totally sucky film. Yeah, my weblog is off to a great start. =P

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 8:13 AM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: Monday, October 07, 2002 ::
Welcome to Planet Dan-E. I am your host and author, Dan-E. First off, a caveat: My knowledge of html is virtually zero, so if not for Blogger's templates, this would be the plainest looking weblog page ever. If you're looking for an attractive site or posts filled with links to my various and what will occasionally be arcane references, look elsewhere.

Second caveat, and on a deeper level. I have no idea what direction this blog thing is going to go. It could be a semi-amusing collection of my random thoughts, a platform for me to pontificate on various current issues, or perhaps a way of slowly releasing all the skeletons I have in my closet (or not). Nor do I have any idea how long or how regularly I'll be doing this. I could still be posting weekly three years for now, or I could realize that this is not for me and shut it down by next month.

At the very least, you should find my posts entertaining. Thanks for coming and read on!

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 9:04 PM [+] :: | 0 comments
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