:: Life on Planet Dan-E ::
Thoughts, observations, and introspections from an
:: Friday, June 13, 2008 ::
Labels: anger, basketball, drinking, lakers, please just shoot me, sports, threw up in my mouth, whiskey Labels: 49ers, football, NaBloPoMo, threw up in my mouth Labels: eww, NaBloPoMo, Nip/Tuck, threw up in my mouth
:: Monday, November 12, 2007 ::
We started strong.
We made a ridiculously one-sided trade in the real, professional sports world that made every wonder how the hell we pulled that off. (If someone even attempted this in a Fantasy League it would be automatically rejected and cause profanity-laced diatribes on the message boards for weeks)
Kobe finally won his MVP.
The Lakers cruised through the playoffs into a finals bout with the Celtics that revitalized the historic feud that peaked and died in the 80s.
The Celtics won the first two games, which was okay because good teams are supposed to win their home games. The Lakers did so in Game 3. We were going to have a good series.
And then THIS happened.
Good thing I was working tonight because even though it was deader than the nerve endings on Briana Bank's vulva, it was less painful than watching this game. If I watched this at a sports bar, I'd have been kicked out for unruly behavior including - but not limited to - excessive shouting, breaking stuff, hurling glasses, and punching anyone wearing green. (And this is the kind of place where coke deals go down in the patio, so you have to really do some dumb shit to get booted.)
If I watched this at home, my TV, tennis racket, various glasses, and several empty bottles of beer would be broken (kinda like my will to live at this point) and the relatively new bottle of Jameson's (1.75) would be drained.
I'm only slightly exaggerating.
As it is now, I'm going to finish my (pint)glass of whisky and stop typing before I really write something I'll regret. If my Lakers lose this series, I'm going to punch myself in the stomach, slam my head against the stove while it's lit, and then hurl my body in front of a bus after I light it on fire. Then once my soul leaves my battered corpse, I'm going to reach out, grab that soul, pull it back down, rip off my charred arm and beat the soul to death with that arm.
If you think I'm being melodramatic, you need to know that we were up by TWENTY FOUR POINTS.
:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 2:13 AM [+] ::
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:: Friday, November 09, 2007 ::
Good thing I didn't. The way they played today, if I had to sit through the entire game I probably would have a few holes in my TV right now, my laptop would be shattered from me hurling it, there would be holes punched in the wall, and I'm pretty someone would have called the police to my place after being frightened from all the noise.
Ok, I'm not really that volatile but given the way team played tonight - the way they've played most of this season - there would have been much anger and frustration on my part. As it was, I worked tonight and had to deal with a steady stream of freaks and retards (you wouldn't think that something as simple and obvious as reading a menu would be difficult but apparently, some people don't get that a menu is where you learn what you can order), weasely co-workers, and lazy busboys but that was still less painful than watching my Niners get shut out by a team that we beat twice last year.
I clearly remember how I was approaching this season with "cautious optimism." Last year, I expected nothing and we went 7-9. This year, I thought we could build on that but... we're now 2-7. The numerous injuries haven't helped but neither has the fact that our quarterback has regressed. Not surprising considering his offensive coordinator last year was Norv Turner (a guy with a history of developing young quarterbacks; for example, Troy Aikman. Ever heard of him?) and is now a guy who used to be in charge changing the urinal cakes at the stadium.
So now, I'm back into that rarified sports fan zone of rooting for a losing season in order to establish some high draft picks. Except that one of our early picks was traded to the Patriots (yeah, like they need help). Ugh. I think I may need a new team.
:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 11:52 PM [+] ::
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Why in the name of Zeus' butthole did he do that?! I mean, following the story line I can see why he did what he did but... seriously, why? I can understand suffering for your art but, geez. I hope he got hazzard pay.
:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 11:53 PM [+] ::
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