:: Life on Planet Dan-E ::

:: Super Bowl XLIII Pick ::

It's time. Tomorrow will be the game we've all been waiting for. It's going to be a hell of a match and we might see history right before our eyes. Yes folks, the matchup featuring Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal will promise an epic Australian Open Finals.

What did you think I was talking about?

Okay, okay, it's all about football. Sure I love tennis, but I really love football. There are a lot of compelling stories behind this year's Super Bowl that I could get into (and will in a moment) but that would obscure the fact that this game has all the potential to be a classic. Sure, it could also be a major blowout but whatever.

A couple of weeks ago I wrote about stories that news channels will try to milk the way Letterman milks a joke and I was dead on about a few of them. However, there are a few I things I missed that’s worth considering. Such as:

• The Kurt Warner Story: everyone knows the story of his ascent to the NFL elite and his relationship with his wife Brenda, as well his life of great Faith. There's been that and more, specifically how he was all but left for dead after St. Louis released him but found new life in Arizona. But the big story I didn't expect was Brenda's reemergence into the spotlight. All she did was ditch her old military cut and grew out her hair and dyed it blonde. The result is kind of well, attractive. Almost hot, even. Hey, if God gave me a wife that looked that good at that age, I'd worship Him, too. What? I just report this crap.

• Arizona Head Coach Ken Whisenhunt facing his former team in the Super Bowl. It's been mentioned a few times but Whiz, to his credit never played the revenge angle so this story never got going. The story that did develop is that with all his years in Pittsburgh is that he knows how the Steelers game plan. Conversely, they know his coaching style.Yet he knows that they know, and they know that he knows that they know, so they know that he knows and he knows that they know, so everyone knows that they know each other, and... You know what? Never mind.

• Larry Fitzgerald might be the best wide receiver in the game right now. However, due to the ridiculous numbers and his spectacular catches, that angle might be a little overhyped. Yeah he's great but it's still a little early for the Jerry Rice comparisons okay? And I'm not just saying this because I'm a frustrated SanFran 49ers fan. Actually, that's pretty much, why I'm saying it.

• Ken Whisenhunt turning the Cardinals into a respectable franchise just might be the greatest trick play of all time. I wrote this mostly as a small joke, but the truth is he's made some shrewd decisions that led to this point. Unlike his mentor Bill Cowher, he did all this while keeping the spittle to a minimum.

As for my pick, I honestly don't know. Pittsburgh could win because they have the best defense in the NFL this season, feature a balanced offense, QB Ben Roethlisberger is a master of improvisation, and they still have a good number of players left over from their Super Bowl winning team. But Ben is hurt, hardnosed wide receiver Hines Ward is playing with a bad knee, RB Willie Parker and the offensive line is still inconsistent.

Arizona could win because they have a potent offense that torched Philly two weeks ago; two wideouts that could make big plays if Fitzgerald is covered, an underrated secondary, and the whole "no one believes in us" spin. But more often than not, defense wins championships, Anquan Boldin's hamstring is still a question mark, they might not be able to establish a running game, and let's face it; they're the Arizona Cardinals.

As much as I love Kurt Warner('s wife), rooting for the underdogs, and watching history happen, I can see Pittsburgh pulling it off. However, Arizona is playing with an edge, and I think they're just a bit healthier. Since I'm not putting any money on the game, I'm going with Arizona: 23-20. MVP: Edgerrin James.

(Oh yeah; I think - I hope - Federer wins the Australian Open.)

Labels: football, picks, sports

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 11:53 PM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: Football Conference Finals Recap ::

It's been determined: The Arizona Cardinals are going to the Super Bowl. People were surprised they weren't immediately booted out of the playoffs but it's a downright shocker - and literally every football column and sports new talking head will be saying this for the next two weeks, to the point that even non-football fans will be saying, "yeah they're not supposed to be here we get it!!" - that the Cardinals made it this far.

Literally, no one thought they would get this far. They "won" their division with a meager 9-7 record. Despite easily beating both Atlanta and Carolina the last two weeks, they four point underdogs against Philly despite playing at home. Many teams have used the rally cry of "no one believed in us" and "no one showed us any respect!" Except in this case, it would actually be true. (The Cards have been worse than just the league whipping boy. Imagine The Gimp from "Pulp Fiction" except even more humiliating.) Don't think for a second they won't use this mentality to galvanize the team.

I mentioned this to my buddy at The Abby last night but this matchup reminds me a lot of Super Bowl XXXIV. Not just because of Kurt Warner's presence but the two teams are stylistically similar. One team features a potent offense and underrated defense while the other is a defensive stalwart with an efficient running game. (Look for this angle to be repeated among the news channels as well.)

Oh wait, there's another team playing in the Super Bowl as well? That would make sense. The Pittsburgh Steelers were expected to go far in the playoffs but their road was a little more impressive, given the higher expectations and playing the toughest schedule. Not only that, their top running back was injured much of the season, taking away the vaunted running game that's the backbone of their offense. And yet here they are.

For last wekend's picks, I wrote on my blog, "this will be a drawn-out defensive matchup where you're going to see some big hits and a few key injuries. It'll be glorious." Rarely have I been more right and rarely have I wanted to be wrong. Do you remember the head-on collision between Ryan Clark and Willis McGahee? This is one of the most brutal, cringe-inducing hits you'll ever see outside of a Kelly Clarkson album. And if you want to see it again, it's right here in all it's neck-snapping glory.

Other things you might see repeatedly on sports news:

• The Kurt Warner Story: all about how he used to bag groceries before playing Arena League Football and NFL Europe before finally taking the NFL by storm with his massive passing prowess; all the while marrying wife Brenda and taking care of her kids like they were his own, and raising a total of seven kids together, and somewhere in there discovering the Holy Grail. Okay, that last one isn't true (it was the Ark of the Covenant). Don't get me wrong, I love the guy and it is a great story if not for the fact that it's already been reported to death back in 2000.

• Arizona Head Coach Ken Whisenhunt and Offensive Line Coach Russ Grimm were both employed by Pittsburgh previous and were considered the top two candidates to replace Bill Cowher when he stepped down, only to have Mike Tomlin take the job. Looking for a coaching version of the "they didn't believe in us" chant as well as the "coming back for revenge" story.

• Look for raging debates about whether or not Larry Fitzgerald is the best wide receiver playing right now. Probably because he's played in NFL purgatory known as Arizona but the only people who really know about this guy outside of Phoenix before this year are Fantasy Football and stat geeks (guilty) and the cornerbacks and safeties he's torched during his career. Philly had the third-best defense as well as a shut-down secondary but Fitz still managed over 100 yards and three touchdowns in the FIRST HALF. Another thing he has going is that pseudo-Superman thing where he shows up at every interview wearing expensive suits and designer glasses looking more like a stockbroker than a gridiron God. Is he the best wide? I'm not sure. Yes, he's fundamentally sound, physically gifted, and has some of the stickiest hands in the world. But unless he works on improving his touchdown celebrations, baiting the media into giving cheap publicity, stops getting along so well with his quarterback, and learns how to be a whiney malcontent, he'll never be considered the best

• Ken Whisenhunt is a genius. He was always regarded as an excellent offensive coordinator with a penchant for will-timed and effective trick plays. Moving to Arizona and turning the Cardinals into a respectable franchise just might be the greatest trick play of all time.
  

Labels: football, NFL, picks, sports

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 11:57 PM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: Football Playoffs 2008: Conference Finals Picks ::

Seasons like this is why I love football. Like millions of people have already said, anyone can beat anybody at any time... unless you're Detroit. Did anyone else think that Arizona could beat Carolina besides me? I thought it'd be a nail biter but it wasn't even close. Of course, no one thought that Jake Delhomme would suddenly become Ryan Leaf and that the Panther's otherwise solid defense would have bigger holes than a used-up porn star. I know I already wrote about this in my recap but come on NOBODY saw this happening... except me. Just saying.

That being said, there's the distinct possibility of going 0-2 this weekend just because there's way too many intangibles to consider in either game to make a confident, clear-cut pick. Despite their hot streak, Philly is favored by 4 points, which I think is the oddsmaker's way of saying "we have no idea how this game is going to turn out". Yeah.

Anyway, on to my picks:

Arizona over Philly:
Why not ride the hot streak? Arizona has a the best wide receiver tandem and Kurt Warner is playing like he's in his early 30s again, and they have a revived defense and running game. Philly's best playmaker Brian Westbrook is injured and QB Donovan McNabb still has a penchant for overthrowing his receivers. The game is in Arizona and Philly is 3-4-1 on the road. This is similar to what I was saying about the Cardinals last week except for some reason, these reasons seem to make more sense with this game.

There's also this: In Week 17, The Cardinals beat the Seahawks, then beat the Falcons in Round 1. Now they could beat the Eagles in the Division finals and depending on how the late game plays out, face the Ravens in the Super Bowl. That means the smallest, meekest bird might beat every other team named after a bird, and those are, at least in nature, larger, deadlier birds of prey. Don't ask me why but I find this very, very entertaining.

(On the other hand the Cardinals lost to the Jets in Week 4. Kinda ironic given the news about the river landing this week. I mean sure, the birds sucked into the engine died but they did after all, take down a jet-engine airplane, which was the point in the football sense. I'm overthinking this, aren't I?)

Pittsburgh over Baltimore:
This game isn't that much different, yet it's very different. Unlike the high-flying (can't let go of the bird analogy) passing offenses of the first game, this will be a drawn-out defensive matchup where you're going to see some big hits and a few key injuries. It'll be glorious.

The Steelers, like the Cards, are on a roll, except the excellent defense has been carrying a sneaky efficient offense capable of a big play or two. The Ravens have to know that they got lucky last week since Tennessee's offense suddenly got a bad case of butterfingers. For all the hype about rookie QB Joe Flacco, he's complete only 20 of 43 pass attempts. The Steelers don't have any big holes to exploit and Tennessee showed you could move the chains against the Ravens. Baltimore's their defense creates turnovers but I don't see their offense being able to convert those opportunities. This is the only game that seems to follow conventional NFL logic. I'd love to see an all-aviary Super Bowl but I just don’t see that happening.

Labels: football, picks, playoffs, sports

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 1:06 AM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: Football Round 2 Recap ::

Last weekend's football results made me nostalgic for the good ol' days when things like home field advantage, experienced quarterbacks, bye weeks, and statistical analysis actually meant something. Instead, we had the goofiest results this late in the playoff in a long time. That sound you heard Saturday evening was the thousands of people who lost money that day.

Tennessee had the best record on the regular season thanks to a stifling defense and balanced, steady offense. Baltimore had an equally good defense but were "led" by rookie QB Joe Flacco. Thanks to three ill-timed fumbles, the Ravens won despite Flacco completing only 50% of his passes, possibly because they were deflected by his unibrow. My pick: Tennessee.

Philly somehow Forrest Gump-ed their way into the playoffs despite playing wildly inconsistent all season. (They lost to Washington twice including a 10-3 snoozer that made soccer games exciting; and a bizarre 13-13 tie to Cincy, one of the worst teams in the league). Beating Minnesota wasn't a big surprise but watching Eli play like it was his rookie year was a little surprising. He let loose more floaters than I do after eating at a Mexican buffet. My pick: New York.

The snow game in Pittsburgh was a classic, if you define "classic" as "complete blowout." Sandy Eggo lost by eleven points but it wasn't really that close. Absolutely true fact; Sandy Eggo had possession for exactly one play, which was an interception in the entire third quarter. Absolutely true fact that I might have made up; Darren Sproles is actually a Hobbit. He's the fastest Hobbit from the Shire and I think maybe the fact that he had to wear spikes slowed him down. My Pick: Pittsburgh.

Carolina was 8-0 at home during the regular season while Arizona was 3-5 on the road, including 0-5 at games played in the Eastern Time Zone. Arizona had the fewest cumulative rushing yards during the regular season (less than even the bottom-feeding Detroit Lions), while Carolina had the third most prolific ground game. Knowing all this, for some reason, I still picked Arizona to win the game. Why? Call me crazy, I had a gut feeling. Also, I wasn't betting any money on it. If I was playing in even a $5 playoff pool, you'd better believe I would have picked the Panthers. (Fuck my life.)

Next week, Arizona and Philly will play for the chance to play in the Super Bowl. It's the only time that two teams with less than ten wins have ever faced off in a divisional championship game. One month ago when both these teams were floundering, if I told you that they'd both be one game away from the finals, you'd think I was hitting the Jack Daniels a little too hard (then again, you could have said the same thing last weekend). You can't predict anything in this league. Anyone can win any game at any time.

Last year, Baltimore was 5-11 and now they're playing in the AFC championship game. Last year, Arizona was 8-8. While they improved by only one game, they're now playing in the NFC championship game. Good God, the Lions might be respectable next year.

(Who am I kidding, they're years away from merely "no long a laughing stock.”)

Labels: football, humor, NFL, picks, sports, wtf

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 11:02 PM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: Football Picks: Round 2 2008 ::

Before I get started I have to mention something: I'm at Starbucks (I know, shocking) and there are two people on adjacent seats taking a nap. Not one of those sorry-I-dozed-off sort of moments. They're leaning back, passed out, and in the lady's case mouth open, head slumped back, and very deep into her REM-cycle. I joke about Starbucks being my second home and all but I don't actually SLEEP here. They're not exactly hobos either. The guy is wearing new Nikes and the lady has sunglasses with "GUCCI" across the side. This is too funny.

That being said, these two still aren't as dormant as Miami's ball protection against Baltimore last week. Everyone was talking about how the Dolphins rarely turn over the ball. Having seen most of the games this season, I can say that a lot of that was sheer dumb luck. In literally every game QB Chad Pennington had at least a two or three passes that made people ask "what were you thinking?!" Every now and then it would result in a crippling interception.

Speaking of which, Ed Reed is the biggest stud right now. I haven't seen a ball hog like this since Kobe Bryant's rookie years and that's saying something for a guy playing on defense. Of course, this is the same Ed Reed that got jacked up by a wide receiver so I'm not surprised he's playing like he has something to prove.

I think the sleeping lady just drooled. With that note, and before I get distracted any more, on to the picks.

Titans over Ravens:
I'm going to be the 2,174,823rd person to say that the Titans remind me of the Ravens back when they won the Super Bowl: stifling defense, strong running game, and a veteran QB that doesn't make mistakes, and a very good special teams unit. Of course, the current Ravens look a lot like that as well; only they have a rookie QB with eyebrows that look like they could withstand a zone blitz by themselves. It's going to be low-scoring, physical, well-coached, smashmouth game that just might remind everyone why they became fans of football in the first place.

Cards over Panthers:
This one is almost too easy: The game is in Carolina, the Panthers are 8-0 at home, Arizona is 3-5 on the road and those losses weren't even close. That's why I think this game has "upset" written all over it. Arizona almost won last time they played and unlike then, the Cards actually have something resembling a running game now. It remains to be seen if the Running Back formerly known as Edgerrin James can continue his rebirth from Week 17 and Round 1. I was gonna pick Carolina but just barely; this might be closer than everyone thinks.

(By the way, isn't it weird how after all this time, that "The [Fill in the Blank] Known as [Name]" joke still kinda works? Forget his great music, I'll always appreciate Prince for this particular contribution to pop culture. Sorry, got distracted again.)

Giants over Philly:
This is the second year in a row where the last remaining Manning is Eli. Sibling rivalry being what it is, I have believe that on some level, Eli is loving every moment that big brother is up in the luxury box pretending to root for him while he's on the field defending his team's Super Bowl Title. If he does win this year, I have a feeling that Eli's going to rub his second Lombardi Trophy in Peyton's face and say, "you like that? You like that?! This is for talking me into doing those dumbass Oreo commercials. Bitch."

Steelers over Chargers:
I almost took San Diego in this game. Darren Sproles is awesome almost made LaDanian Tomlinson seem like an afterthought. Phillip Rivers did anything and everything to win that game while Pittsburgh QB Ben Roethlisberger spent the last two weeks trying to remember how to spell his name. (By the way, that's his third concussion - Non-motorcycle Injury Category.) Steelers have the better defense but the Chargers have a better O-line, running back (even minus LDT), and QB. Bad news is they're coached by Norv Turner so that cancels out some of those advantages. That and Pittsburgh has a unique homefield advantage: Heinz field is loud, the weather is going to be icy, and the field is going to be muddy, mangled, and slippery. It's exactly the kind of game John Madden would love if he were alive today.

EDIT 4:15: I already posted my pick but did I say that Arizona just might win this thing? I just have a gut feeling but... ugh. We'll see what happens when the game actually starts.

Labels: football, picks, playoffs, sports

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 2:45 PM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: 2008 Season Football Picks: Playoffs? Talk about, Playoffs? ::

I haven't done my football picks in a while but lest ye worry, I've not lost my love for the game. I just haven't been blogging about it. Since one of my resolutions is to at least attempt to blog more often it might as well be about something I like. (I like women too but not much going on there. Or at least nothing I want to blog about.)

It's been a fantastic season so far. The Lions went an historic 0-16. The Cowboys soap opera of a season fizzled out worse than "Melrose Place." The Falcons and the Dolphins, after awful seasons, returned to playoff form thanks to new coaching and management. An 8-8 team (Sandy Eggo) is hosting their first playoff game while an 11-5 (New England) team gets to watch. My SanFran 49ers somehow Forrest-Gumped their way to a 7-9 season, setting up for a potential playoff run next year. (Of course, I said that two years ago and I've been punching myself in the stomach ever since.) Did I mention that Cowboys collapse?

(I only wish that someone had actually punched Terrell Owens in the face at some point. I'll freely admit my shadenfreude toward any rival team, by the way.)

Anyway, here are my picks for the first round of the playoffs.

Arizona over Atlanta:
I hate the Cards because they play in my division but I love Kurt Warner. I also really like Larry Fitzgerald because he reminds of a cool Irish guy I went to college with named Patrick Fitzgerald. He also had a nice cousin named Gerald Fitzpatrick. (I love that joke.) His wide receiver counterpart also came back from a broken face. (I mean literally a BROKEN FACE. Dude is a stud.) Gotta like that. Finally, given the choice between the QB who's actually won a Super Bowl versus a gifted but green rookie QB, I'll take the veteran.

Indianapolis over San Diego:
Everyone seems to be picking the Charger because they won four games in a row to close out the season, including a "playoff" elimination game against Denver. That's nice and all but Indy went ahead and won NINE games in a row to finish the season. So there goes the momentum theory. We're also talking coaching matchup of Norv Turner vs. Tony Dungy. Again, I'm taking the guy with a ring.

Baltimore over Wildcats:
While at the Dolphins this season, there were two guys wearing Miami jerseys sitting near me. When they fell behind, one guy said they needed to throw more long bombs. The other replied, "bro, Pennington's bomb is eight yards." That's Dolphans for you. Rookie QB over limp-armed veteran? I hate this pick but I have to go with the better defense. I really wanted to pick Miami since I still live here and I don't want angry Dolphans breaking down my door. Then I remembered they're somewhat apathetic fairweather Johnsons and none of them know where I live. That and I'm not even sure anyone from Miami reads my blog anyway.

Minnesota over Philadelphia:
I hate this pick even more. If this was a regular season game I'd probably call this game a tie and there’s a 30% chance of being right. Yeah Philly beat Dallas (which made me happier than I should have been) but it was as much a case of the Cowboys self-immolating. Since I can't think of anything else to say about this, I'm going to revert to my Nature Theory and pick the Vikes since in nature, I'm pretty sure a Viking can kill and Eagle.

There it is. Enjoy the games.

Labels: football, picks, playoffs, sports

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 3:48 PM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: Football Pool ::

Even though I haven't been posting my weekly football picks on my blog, I'm still doing it for the "office" pool at the Steakhouse. Two weeks into this already interesting season, I've won two in a row.

Now, I'm not some Football Picks Genius or anything. It's more a reflection of the talent (or lack thereof) I'm going up against. And just plain dumb luck. Last week I went 12-4 and won easily despite picking Oakland to win. Yeah.

This week was a bit more touch and go. Out of the eight early games, I only picked four correctly (Minnesota, New Orleans, you're dead to me). I thought I was out right then and there and didn't really pay attention to the rest of the scores with much interest. Except somehow my SanFran 49ers (pulled out a win against Seattle, a pick no one else made. I went six for six in the afternoon games.

(It wasn't just luck. I picked my 49ers because I honestly thought Seattle was terrible and our defense is underrated and... Who am I kidding. We beat a crappy team by three points in overtime. It was sheer, blind, stupid luck.)

I found out that the pool came down a bartender and me. I like the guy but I really wanted, needed, to beat this guy because he knows absolutely nothing about football. He's one of the guys who thinks soccer is mistakenly called football (foreigners are so cute when they do that). And I could not let this guy beat me. To win I needed Dallas to win and I need the total points to close to 64 (he guessed 25).

No problem. I anticipated a high-scoring shootout. I just need Dallas to win. What killed me is that I had to, for a few hours, root for the fucking Cowboys. And for Terrell Owens. If you've read my blog for a few years, you know how much animosity I have for that idiot. No problem, I was working anyway, and we were lucky to be busy enough that I didn't have to stand around and watch the game. Thanks to a few bonehead plays by Philly, the Cowgirls pulled out a win. Sweet.

Let's see now if I can go three for three.

Labels: football, picks, sports

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 12:08 AM [+] :: | 0 comments
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