:: Life on Planet Dan-E ::

:: Kitchen Envy ::

Whenever I visit someone's place for the first time, I head straight to the kitchen, but not for reasons you would think. It's because few people appreciate a well-designed kitchen more than I do. Remember a few posts ago where I was complaining about not having enough counter space. Yeah. Is it odd that a guy has kitchen envy?

Clearly I like to eat but I enjoy cooking almost as much and sometimes I find myself feeling a little confined in my little space. So usually, when in a kitchen that's better than mine (usually all of them), I envision myself cooking there and feeling a little wistful. I visited a friend's (who shall remain anonymous) place recently and not only did she have a great kitchen, there was a great spice rack, knife set, pots and pans, and a nice oven rack. Here's what killed me: she doesn't know how to cook. Naturally, I feigned indignation and gave her a good-natured ribbing but there was a small part of me that was a little bitter.

I already know that once I start working and get my own "real" place I'm gonna splurge on kitchen accesories. First thing being a good set of knives. You'll walk into my place and see some of the crappiest furniture but you won't have time to dwell on it thanks to that great aroma permeating my apartment. All thanks to my cool kitchen gear.

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 12:24 PM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: Yet Another Ramble-fest ::

Another collection of random thoughts.

- Will someone please explain to me just how Ed McMahon outlived Johnny Carson? Does that make any sense to anyone? Does that even seem fair to anyone?

- There are three certainties in life: death, taxes, and young primadonna athletes being self-aggrandizing even before they've accomplished anything. Imagine if Andrew Shue tried to forge a career off of his "Billy" character by demanding premium roles usually given to the likes of Cruise and Pitt. How ridiculous would that seem?

- Hockey is cancelled. The only ones oustide of the NHL who cared was Canada (and maybe Minnesota). Which begs the question, if Canada's power grid suddenly suffered a catastrophic power failure putting the entire country in a blackout, would anyone notice?

- Well, at least there's still the NBA (he said sarcastically).

- Stuff like this is why I love Google.

- Steroid use in baseball isn't nearly as rampant as some would have you believe. Just look at the likes of David Wells, Mo Vaughn, David Ortiz, Wilson Alvarez.

- Julie Chen on TV is a. grating b. extremely grating

- I know some of these new video games for xBox and PS2 are "adult oriented" but it makes me sad to think that not only are there 30 year old guys still sitting in their basement playing games, but that there are 30 year old guys who still go ga-ga over ridiculously rendered female game characters.

- That's probably why I don't own an xBox or PS2.

- My bologne has a first name, it's C-O-N-S-E-C-O.

- Chris Rock is in hot water for saying that the Oscars were "idiotic" and simple a glorified "fashion show" for gay people. Shouldn't be a big surprise that Hollywood is throwing a hissy fit over someone actually saying something resembling truth.

- There are concerns from "Academy members" that Rock shouldn't host because he doesn't take the show seriously. Really? You're telling me that there are people who do? I mean, heaven forbid you hire a comedian that tells jokes.

- I still hate running and my disdain for soccer grows each passing week and yet I continue to do both on a regular basis. It reminds me of how Alison refused to move out of the apartment despite breaking up with both Billy and Jake and having an ongoing blood feud with Amanda. I shouldn't know stuff like this.

- Listening to blues puts me in a good mood for some reason.

- I'm not a very good soccer player but it seems that I'm considered a very good goalie. The fact that I can use my hands seems to have something to do with it.

- I mean, seriously, no hands? A sport without hands, it's like telling Hieronymus Bosch "please, no morbid imagery."

- I've worked on Dunkin' Donuts coffee, Fris Vodka, Maker's Mark Whiskey, and Amstel Light. I don't know just how much more "research" I can take.

- A "Stop Ashlee Simpson" online petition has already gathered more than 320,000 signatures. Who says today's youth is apathetic?

- Napster's selling point for their new portable music player is that it's cheaper than an iPod. Not only that, filling it to capacity with songs is cheaper, and that the 10,000 songs an iPod can potentially hold will cost its owner $10,000. Ironic how the people at Napster seem to think that iPod owners actually pay for their music.

- The Rocky DVD collection came out recently. If we leave "Rocky V" at the store, can we get a discount for it? I just prefer to think it never happened.

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 1:17 PM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: I'm like, SO funny. Whatever. ::

Despite my mild griping in my last post, I have to admit, I'm enjoying most of my classes. I'm learning a lot and I'm enjoying the challenges presented by some of the assignments. Especially anything involving alcohol where we're required to do product "research."Our group had fun with vodka, let me tell you. Granted, the sleepless nights and the resultant fatigue and occasional illness aren't great but overall, it's been a pretty good quarter. Having said that, the only class giving me heart palpatations is Stand Up Comedy.

This class is normally given only to writers but somebody somehow got the idea that I can write so I got stuck with this class. Now, trying to write jokes is actually kinda fun, especially since I'm easily amused. Performing them in front of class is a little nerve-wracking, but so far, we're only doing it in our little class of eight so it hasn't been too bad. My big trepidation is the thought of having to make a 120 people laugh at the end of the quarter is, and since public speaking is one of my greatest fears, it is, to say the least, daunting.

It's not that I don't think I can be funny. I obviously can, though that in itself can be challenge - I'll expand on that later - I'm more concerned about my delivery, since my voice can sometimes lack presence and I have this slight stuttering thing that could be distracting.

As for my material, well, I'm quite aware that my jokes can be arcane and if anything it's a point of pride for me. Even my friend Carolina said to me "you're really funny but nobody knows it." Normally, that's a great compliment but for this class, I have to broaden my material somewhat or I might was well go up on stage and start digging myself a grave.

My humor is like my personality, really, me in general; it's not for everyone you won't always get it but if/when you do, you're hooked. People have suggested numerous times that I take myself more mainstream, whether it's telling more obvious jokes or cutting my goatee and I've sometimes bristled at the suggestion. But since my attempt at incorporating the concept of "ignominy" into my monologue died a painful death, I'm thinking for once, that it might not be such bad advice.

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 11:56 PM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: School and Whatnot ::

I requested a copy of my transcripts earlier this week and I found out my GPA at MAS so far is 3.32, and that last quarter for the first - and possibly only - time in my life, I got straight A's. Also, that GPA is at least 0.30 points higher than anything else I've gotten in my lifetime. I find myself unaffected by this. The only reason I care about grades at this point is that your GPA determines whether or not you get your first choices for the Quarter Away program. The stuff I've learned and the overall experience are far more valuable than anything a high GPA would represent.

Right now, I'm a little ill from another zero-sleep night. My head hurts, my stomach is queasy, and, no exaggeration, I'm pretty sure the room is spinning. So far this quarter, I've had at least one sleepless night each week. Sometimes when I'm clicking away at my laptop only to see the morning sun leak in though my blinds, I wonder why I'm killing myself over this. Then I have days like this afternoon where both the Project and the Presentation both went far better than I would have imagined and I tell myself "'cuz when you nail something, it feels totally awesome."

It's no secret that I'm my own worst critic so even if my friends compliment me on my work, I just smile and say "thanks" while still picking out flaws. Today's presentation went great, thanks to my account planner, who is this hyperkinetic mass of charisma. As typical, I wasn't completely happy with our presentation boards but given that we have only a week turnaround, it was decent but what totally killed was my planner, who could probably sell vibrators at a Sexaholics anonymous meeting.

You gotta love the few moments in your career when things come out the way you want it, when you can look at your team and think to yourself, "we nailed it. Damn we're good. Who cares about the score, we nailed it."

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 1:02 AM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: Super Bowl XXXIX ::

Considering everything the ancient Romans contributed to modern society, isn't it a little sad that the only thing they're remembered for is the method for numbering Super Bowls?

A few of my thoughts:

- Great game. It was certainly more entertaining than the commercials, which, other than a few exceptions, were disappointing.

- I'm glad New England won, not that I have anything against the Igles but I hate Terrell Owens. If you saw his post-game interview, you'd see that he was more jubilant than any Super Bowl loser has any right to be. The reason being was his self-aggrandizing his ability to play after a supposedly severe ankle fracture. "Sure we lost the most important game of the season and quite possibly our careers, but did ya see me play? Did ya?"

- Him subtly playing the race when comparing himself to Brett Favre in that writers portray Favre as a hero for playing hurt while he's being scrutinized and vilified. Now, before anyone falls under the influence of some hack sportswriter looking to sensationalize something that isn't there, let's compare the two:

- Favre is known for coming up big in games that matter, yet praising his teammates for helping him make the big plays. Owens, before today, often drops crucial passes in big games but is a total glory hound when he has big games during the regular season.

- Favre has choked in big games as well but he takes complete responsibility for the loss. Owens not only drops passes but is often afraid to take a hit going up the middle and eviscerates teammates for the loss both during and after the game, rarely if ever owning up to his failings.

- Favre has always carried himself with class and dignity and never tries to make himself larger than either his team or Football, all the while acting has an ambassador for both his community and The Game. Owens has always been a shameless self-promoter, seeking the limelight and prioritizing personal accomplishment over team success. He's quite possibly the single most pathetically insecure athlete in all of sports.

- Favre is never one to publicly affront any player, preferring to keep things within his locker room. Owens blatantly talks shit about anyone, from questioning their sexual orientation to discrediting someone's innocence when that person was acquitted in a court of law.

- The media circus surrounding Owen's ankle is largely fueled by Owens. Favre's downplayed his thumb injury last year as much as possible.

- In case you haven't figured it out now 1. It never was, never is, and never should be a race issue. 2. Owens is a bitch.

- Despite all that, I wanted to give him some respect for playing on his busted ankle. I wanted to, but that was before I saw his post-game interview. Now the conspiracy-theory part of my mind wonders if he overstated the nature of his own injury just to draw more attention to whether or not he'd play, to which the media bought hook, line, and sinker.

- If I ever use that "hook, line, and sinker" cliché in my blog again, punch me in the face. Please. That appeal also applies to "biatch," "yoo da man," anything "-izzle," and "wardrobe malfunction."

- I'll never understand when athletes, those who've played at previous Super Bowls and those who are about to play in one, say things like "don't worry and just have fun" or "take in the whole experience" and "see the sights" because "they may never get here again." If you ask me (and I'll pretend you did) the possibility of never playing in another Super Bowl is the single most important reason why a player's main focus should be on the game itself and little else. If you have family, you can always bring them to Jacksonville/Houston/San Diego during the off-season to see the sights. Things like SB parties and media days should be treated as necessary hassles, not as a source of distraction or entertainment. You're there to win. "Take in the experience" another time. The Pats know this and this is why they've won three of the last four. Players who listen to the above mentioned advice usually go home second best. If you want an experience, do it at the Pro Bowl.

- I was kinda hoping that Paul McCartney would go nuts and smash a guitar or something. Or maybe that his wife would join him on stage, followed by Justin Timberlake and that the big scandal is that he "accidentally" rips off her prosthetic leg.

- Lombardi's famous quote "there is no 'I' in team" is epitomized by The Pats. Few, if any teams have as many unselfish players as these guys.

- Boston has three Super Bowls and a World Series title in the last four years, while Philly has had neither for decades. This makes me happy. If you've ever been to either city, you'll know why.

- Bostonians can also take revel in the fact that the Celtics are leading their division and the Bruins are, technically, undefeated.

- Philly sports fan should be happy for the loss: they have another reason to boo.

- My personal request for next year's halftime show: U2.

- Thanks to the nature of the media, it's always the train wrecks that get the most attention e.g. "Ankle-gate." It's always the malcontents, burnouts, miscreants, and the pathologically needy attention whores that get all the press. Guys like Tedy Bruschi, Troy Brown, and Mike Vrabel represent everything that is good and right about sports, yet rarely receive any credit or publicity thanks to that same media.

- New England has a dynasty, folks. Get used to it.

- It's reminiscent of my beloved 49ers way back when during their respectable years. Speaking of which, I can't believe I'm actually celebrating the ignominy of clinching the number one draft pick next year. Forget the dynasty, I'll be ecstatic with a .500 record.

Anyway, that's all I have to say. Bring on baseball!

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 1:27 AM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: More Drinking ::

Someone asked me late last year if I was going to make any resolutions. I jokingly said that I was going to resolve to drink more in 2005. I had no idea that I'd stick to it so steadfastly. If I knew resolutions like this were so easy to keep I'd have done this years ago. Seriously, normally when it comes to beer, a six pack is good for at least a month and I normally don't have more than two when I go to a party. I've already been through two and a half six packs this year and the last two parties I went to, I had a seven at the first one and tonight I had four beers and shot.

Now, I'm not raging drunk or anything. For that matter, I'm not even tipsy since I take preventive measures before each party in the form of a large meal and I space out each drink. Still it's a source of self-amusement since I was never a big drinker till i moved here. I'm wondering not about why or how it started but rather, why didn't I do it sooner. Seriously. Beer is good.

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 2:37 AM [+] :: | 0 comments
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