:: Life on Planet Dan-E ::

:: Server Stories: Wine List ::

One of the nice perks of working in the restaurant business is getting to sample various wines (and booze). One of the things that suck about working in the restaurant business is that you have to study the wines, sometimes without the benefits of tasting. I like drinking. I don't like studying.

However, if I'm forced to study something, wines and booze is about as good a subject as you can find. I love a good whiskey so studying up on that on my own time was entertaining. Antonio, the Floor Manager at my last job, knew this so he would let me occasionally try out various Scotches and Bourbons for my shift drink. At the Steakhouse, it's all about the wines. It's an Italian Steakhouse so we have huge selection of Italian reds. It's mostly Piedmont and Tuscan wines, though there are quite a few Amarones and Super Tuscans, with bottles ranging anywhere from $52 to $700.

I spent a lot of time studying our wines and since the new GM has pared down the list, it's been easier keeping up. The MILF and I try to pick a couple of mid and high-end wines to try to push while we stand around and wait for our first customer to come in. It's one way to keep it fun and we have a friendly little competition once in a while.

It's one of the reasons I've been among the top sellers and I'm don't mind using every trick in the book to make a sale. For example, we carry twelve different Pinot Noirs. Most are $50-$60, a couple of those are $82, and one that's $120. It's easy to sell a lot of the cheaper stuff but there's an excellent Pinot Noir from the Carneros Appelation (thanks for the tip, Joo) that I sell more than anyone. (I went through a case in two weeks once.) At $82 it's a hell of a wine and more often than not, I'm able to convince the customer to spend the extra $20 or so and give it a try. It's never been sent back.

The MILF prefers big reds like Cabernets and Brunellos so she doesn't bother too much lighter reds. She noticed I sell that bottle often and asked me if it's a good wine. I told her I read very good reviews. "What do you mean?"

"I've never actually tasted it."

Because of that every now and then I do walk away feeling a little dirty, and not in a good way. More like, a used car salesman sort of dirty. Our GM is pretty good about keeping up with the good seller so he's quite content to let me do my thing as long as I maintain my numbers. If there's ever a bottle that he wants to get rid of, he usually entrusts Rey, the MILF, or me to sell it. While it easy to recommend something I'm familiar with, every now and then I do get a customer asking for a recommendation for something expensive. I've done enough research that I can rattle off key adjectives like bold, lush, fruity, velvety and my favorite; "lots of complexity with layer upon layer of flavors." (It never occurred to me that those writing and marketing classes in art school would help me out in this fashion.) More often than not while I'm doing the presentation, I'm thinking "please like it, please like it, please don't send it back." So far, it's only happened once, but it was a mid-priced Merlot that we sold by the glass anyway.

Of course, I feel considerably less dirty when the managers let us take home a bottle of wine for our efforts. I already took home an Amarone. Last month, the MILF and I and worked a particularly thirsty party and got rid of some of the old inventory. As a reward, we both took home a Super Tuscan made from Syrah grapes. I still haven't opened that either, though she has and told me it's great. Or as she likes to say in her sexy Latin accent, "it's a beautiful wine. I looove it. "

I gotta tell you, the occasional free bottle of wine is something I could definitely get used to, especially when it's something I would (or could) never spend my own money on. Even if it's a crappy White Zinfandel that the manager gave away to the staff so he could take it off the menu.

Labels: alkie, server stories, wines

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 7:07 PM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: Server Stories: PPA ::

Sometimes I wonder if I'm getting too proficient at this whole waiter thing. I've been doing well for myself and the house since I started working at The Steakhouse. I have a good work ethic and I'm a strong waiter, but it helps immensely that I work mostly good people who are willing to help each other out. Considering the circumstances of my last job search, I couldn't have been luckier.

Being a pool house, one of the ways that management tries to motivate the floor staff to increase sales is monthly competitions to see who has the highest PPA (Per Person Average). I've won every month since I started working there and I'm a very close second place this month so far.

Sometimes, there are tangible prizes, other times it's merely bragging rights. However, last week, the new GM made a point during a pre-shift to acknowledge three waiters: Rey, (one of the guys who trained me) the MILF, and me, for having the top three PPAs for the last two months.

(PPA is the average of how much every customer you wait on spends while dining at your table. Last month, the top three were around $80. That means on average, each diner spent roughly $80 on steaks, apps, wine, and booze. Among other things.)

Our prize was either a $200 gift card to eat at The Steakhouse or one of our sister restaurants, or a bottle of wine on our list. Being good waiters (i.e. drinkers), we naturally gravitated towards the wine. Rey took a nice Barolo while the MILF selected a great Super Tuscan. I picked out a big Amarone. I've never tried an Amarone and it was a bottle that we're trying to get rid of anyway so it was perfect.

We're not done yet, however. The GM's competition for the month of October isn't on PPAs. Rather, it's on Tip Percentages (who's receiving the highest percentages of tips based on your sales).

Guess who's in first?

Labels: alkie, server stories, wines

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 1:01 AM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: Like Fine Wine ::

It's the dog days of summer for service industry employees in Miami, tourists being few and far between due to humid weather and the threat of hurricanes (something the University of Miami football team didn't heed... had to throw that in). There's a lot of standing around waiting for our first customer to come in so we have plenty of time for small talk and I've used it get to know my new co-workers.

There's only one female waiter but she's treated as one of the guys since she does her job better than many of them. That she's married with a 3-year old kid probably helps keeps the most of us at a distance. Of course, guys being guys, when she's not around, talk occasionally devolves into her being a MILF. It helps that she's friendly, works hard, has a great smile, and for my benefit, wears a nice pair of glasses. Don't ask me why but I like a girl who can look good wearing glasses. Yes, we've already brought up the "Latin Sarah Palin" comparisons.

(And politics aside, Governor Palin is undeniably attractive. And not just because she looks great with glasses. Total MILF soon-to-be GILF. And personally I'd love to gerrymander her constituency... if you know what I mean. That joke would work better if she were a congresswoman but, whatever.)

(Okay, back to the post.)

We were discussing the wine list and other things. I found out she's going to be 30 soon (no I didn't ask her age, I'm not that stupid). "You shouldn't worry. You could still pass for 25." Of course that comment made her happy but only temporarily.

"Think of it this way: we have stuff behind the bar that's older than you." She laughed. I couldn't tell you what made me think of comparing a woman's age to that of a spirit but it still made sense. To me anyway. Sort of. I point to a bottle of 30-year-old Tawny Port Wine. "That bottle of Port over there is still older than you are. So you're okay."

She's still laughing. "That makes me feel better. Thanks"

"You're welcome. Although that port probably tastes better."

"What?"

"Nothing."

Labels: I'm getting old, milf, waiting, wines

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 10:20 PM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: Server Stories: High Sales ::

I mentioned in the last post about how my job security has been threatened over stupid shit just because the GM was on a power trip. That was about two or three weeks ago since the last incident where he told me, "you have potential but you've had more than enough time to prove yourself and you're hanging by a very thin rope." And the only reason for this conversation was because I walked through the kitchen with my hair down and the salad cook, who's a major drama queen, complained about getting hair in her food. I never actually went into her station; all I was doing was getting plates to use as marking trays.

Since then? I've done nothing different other than show up at work with a ponytail. But I went through a three day stretch where I sold almost a grand in wine bottles and suddenly, the GM is "proud" of me. Whatever. As long as I'm making regular contributions to his wine commission, I'm not on his shit-list. And if I'm not on his shit-list, Antonio treats me like gold.

This is the only place I've worked where I could have net sales of $3000 on a Saturday night but the managers bitch at me because I only sold two $70 bottles of Pinot Grigio. Forget the high sales, or the $600 worth of liquors (Mojitos, vodkas, and gin drinks are huge in Miami, especially on weekends, and the average price of a drink is $12), the specials, or wines by the glass; I only sold two bottles of wine because by luck of the draw, I get seated the people who'd rather get drunk on Belvedere, Bombay Sapphire, or Bacardi.

One case that got me off the shit-list was where I somehow talked a table into buying a $500 bottle of Cristal. Once the table left I grabbed the cork, walked up to the GM and said "hey [GM], I have something for you." "What's that?" I hand him the cork, "this is from the bottle of Cristal that I just sold." His face lights up and he replies, "really? Way to go my man." Later that night, he tells me "you're doing an excellent job. Keep this up and I'm going to train you to be a Captain and take charge of private parties." I simply smiled, nodded and said "thank you, sir" but I felt a need to wash my hands before I went home. This occurred just three days after my last reprimand.

Whatever, I'm off the shit-list, Jed speaks highly of me because I show up on time everyday, and Antonio likes me because my mellow personality usually means I don't cause any drama with customers. (A co-worker from Brooklyn, who's a service lifer, is in most respects a better waiter than me, but he has some New York attitude that doesn't sit well with a few of our customers. From my perspective, his problems are customers that can be best described as human garbage, but all management sees is an unhappy table, and their opinion is all that matters.) Jed's another lifer that's worked at more restaurants than I've eaten at, and despite his drug habit, he's exceedingly competent at work. He's been working here for five seasons and he's unofficially our senior waiter, so for him to have my back is no small thing.

While I appreciate Jed's support, every time the GM or Antonio says something complimentary during my check-out, I can't help but feel like I'm just an indigested corn in a pile of shit. We have competent servers here but the nature South Beach being what it is, truly professional servers are hard to find it seems some of the other guys have faults more glaring than mine. And for no other reason that I show up on time every day, I'm one of two waiters that don't have a drug habit, and I have the occasionally ability to upsell a customer from a bottle of Clos du Bois to a Rubicon.

Manager's favor aside, i still feel drained working here. I haven't had a day off since last Wednesday, and trying to manage the managers in addition to just doing my job takes its toll. As much as I hated the environment at my last job, I miss just being able to show up, do my job, and go home. I didn't have to worry about meeting some invisible quota for wine sales, the managers where idiots but at least they were oblivious to everything except irrelevant details, no one care if I showed up at work with my hair down.

Even though it's not my future (I keep telling myself that), I do take pride in doing my job well. But I shouldn't have to meet quotas or brown-nose management to know that.

Labels: rants, server stories, waiting, wines

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 1:12 AM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: Server Stories: The New Guy ::

I haven't blogged much in the last ten days because I've been at Swanky Trendy Restaurant training, working, or studying stuff for work and I'm sure you're curious as to what's going on.

I found their ad on Craigslist looking for a “server fine dining restaurant in South Beach.” The GM calls me a few days later and tells me my interview at will be at 4:30 on Wednesday. When I arrive, there's already a few people there filling out applications and I'm worried that I might again get lost in a sea applicants during those mass interviews.

I fill out the app and get to the last two pages, which is a quiz to determine our food and beverage knowledge. I breeze through the food and liquor but in between I get stuck at the wine section. (No beer quiz? What's up with that?)

They asked me to name wine regions in America (easy enough) and at least three wine regions in France and Italy. Oh... ummm... shit. Since no one was paying any attention to me, I text my wine fanatic friend Joo with my questions, and to her everlasting credit got back to me within five minutes with the answers.

I finish up, and the GM takes me to a table for the interview. He looks over my resume, the application, and asks me about my experience. We chat for a little bit, and then he goes into this spiel about what he expects from me if I'm to work at Swanky Trendy Restaurant. I simply nod my head, maintain eye contact and say stuff like "sure, of course," and "I agree." He then looks over my quiz, nods his head, and finally says, "your food knowledge is good, you definitely know your liquors (and beer! Don't forget beer!) and you seem to know your wines." I try not to crack a smile and simply nod. "You have good experience as well. I'll tell you what. I'm gonna give you a chance. Welcome aboard." Just like that? "Thank you very much!” I vigorously shake his hand. He introduces me to one of the floor managers, who asks me if I'm busy this evening. Umm, no? "Do you have black pants?" Yes? "Your shirt and shoes are fine. Can you go home and change into your black pants and be back within an hour?" I can do that. "Alright then, I'll seen you soon. Welcome to Swanky Trendy Restaurant."

I walk out with a strut and pump my fist a few times like Tiger Woods after sinking a 40' putt. Still, when I got home, I felt more relieved than jubilant.

Training was three days in the kitchen learning the food, which was actually a little disconcerting because I had to learn stuff like "confit" and "aioli" and learn the difference between a relish and chutney. (I always thought relish was just the green stuff you put on hot dogs and chutney was a city in England.)

I got to taste some of their stuff, which I have to admit, was quite good. And it actually helped a little in learning the ingredients for each dish. The last three days of training was on the floor, learning the computer, floorplan, and the procedures unique to Swank. They try to maintain a fine dining atmosphere so I have to be a lot more attentive to details. It's also about three times the size of the last place so I have a lot more ground to cover.

If I'm not training, I'm at Starbucks in the morning studying the menu and looking up stuff like coulis, brioche, and tapenade. I've actually heard a lot of these terms and have an idea of what they are since I watch a lot of Food Network but I still needed to be sure exactly what the hell they were for the test.

The test was on Tuesday, which I passed easy enough (I was wrong about endive being a type of lettuce. You'd think I'd know since I feed my turtle that stuff), easier than the last place, despite having a more complicated menu. I've been on the floor every day since then. Once I passed that test, everyone at the restaurant had to take a wine test (there was an easier version for the new guys) and so I spent my off time studying wines. I had to learn their wines by the glass and I also passed that test yesterday. I'm sure it's only a matter of time before I have to take the full test since there are almost two hundred wines available I'm not looking forward to it.

Today was my first day off in ten days and let me tell you, I'm tired. As for the goatee, since there's waiters, food runners, and bussers that have various forms of facial hair (I'm still not sure why they made me cut it in the first place) I've been slowly growing it back. My buddy that works at The Abbey saw me recently and almost had a freak out. "Geez, you look like a kid. If you walked into my bar right now for the first time, I wouldn't serve you."

Last note: thanks to everyone who left comments of encouragement and well wishes here. That meant a lot and I truly appreciate it.

Labels: food, goatee, job search, new job, server stories, waiting, wines

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 8:53 PM [+] :: | 0 comments
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