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Thoughts, observations, and introspections from an art student waiter/bartender in South Beach. Arcane humor ensues.
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:: Saturday, May 31, 2008 ::

:: Server Stories: Cosmos ::
Now, I don't know what it's like at other restaurants but at my current and last place of employment, the guys (who are hetero) usually all get along pretty well. If it's slow and we're standing around talking, conversations can get pretty crass. If it's all guys working that night, it becomes a frat house, with all the shit talking, pranks, and other crap we pull to get through the night. I wrote about it here and here.

I'm sure the majority of my female readers (do I have any male readers any more? Raise your hand(s)) know what movie is coming out this weekend. It was a source of humor for most of the male waiters at work this week and Ramon started it a couple of nights ago while we were setting up the restaurant. "Hey ladies, you remember to keep Friday open so we can go see 'Sex and the City, okay?" (That in itself was funny because we're so shortstaffed that nobody gets Friday or Saturday night off.)

Theo chimes in with "I'm so there girlfriend!"

"And we're gonna go to a lounge and drink some Cosmos and try to find some sugardaddy."

Of course, I can't stay quiet. "And we just have to stop by the Steve Madden store because I saw the cutest pair purple pumps in the window the other day."

(Sometimes, straight guys bond by acting really gay e.g. professional athletes rewarding a great play - touchdowns or home runs - by slapping each other on the ass, but that's a whole other post.)

It's funnier if you actually listened in on it while it happened, since a couple of the girls who work with us were laughing. (Or maybe not.)

The jokes keep going until last night, where I suddenly have this bright idea: "Hey you know what we should do: we should stop by Finnegan's, do shots 'till we're all hammered, then go to a screening and heckle the movie until they throw us out."

I was (only sorta) joking except a few of the guys looked at each other and nodded, and then they gave me that "it's not a bad idea" look. Of course, talk then deteriorated into the stuff we could shout at the screen during SATC, most of which is puerile and sophomoric. I'll spare you the details but a lot of it resembles what a drunk frat guy might yell at a drunk sorority chick during Mardi Gras weekend, and for a few minutes before we opened, we were in stitches.

(By the way, I graduated high school in 1992, in case you were wondering.)

I walked by the bartenders tonight before we opened and quipped, "you guys got enough Triple Sec?" They got the reference and laughed (Triple Sec is a key ingredient in Cosmopolitans) but the scary part was that even though I was joking, I don't think I walked pass the service bar the whole night without seeing at least one Cosmo waiting to be served. Theo had the first table of the night, a group of six middle-aged women, and their first round consisted of four Cosmos and two Sourapple martinis. We had a few bachelorette parties, and some all-female parties tonight each of those tables had at least two Cosmos every time I walked by.

Not only that, our restaurant is a few blocks from the local megaplex so after 8:00, there would be a huge crowd of women walking by every hour or so. Oddly, about half these women seemed either angry or sullen, was the movie as bad as I heard? Who knows, and really, who cares. We never followed up on my bright idea, which was probably a good thing, but I'd be lying if there weren’t a small part of me that wished I could have had that "I once got thrown out of a movie theater" story.

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:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 2:15 AM [+] :: | 0 comments

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