:: Life on Planet Dan-E ::

Thoughts, observations, and introspections from an art student waiter/bartender in South Beach. Arcane humor ensues.
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:: Tuesday, November 24, 2009 ::

:: Humor ::
Having turned 35 this year, I spent a good part of my birthday reflecting on what my life was about. Where I've been, where I'm going, what I need to change (some of the details are hazy as they can be when a night of drinking involves pints of Guinness preceded by three Manhattans). I'm content, for the most part, with where my life is now but "content" isn't the same as "I love my life."

I don't think huge changes are necessary. Just some behavioral and habitual tweaks that could push me in the right direction (for example: keeping nights of drinking involving pints of Guinness preceded by three Manhattans to a minimum). Living in South Beach, I'm often told stories and anecdotes of people my age and older who underwent some sort of cosmetic enhancement in an effort to stay youthful. With anything ranging from Botox injections to liposuction, the elusive search for the Fountain of Youth is a popular expedition.

No, I'm not considering any sort of plastic surgery. I still look young for my age. Most of my fixes are mental and emotional. That being said, it seems my subconscious has resorted to its own form of Botox in that I've noticed a distinct degradation in my sense of humor. What I mean by it's become more sophomoric and puerile.

Maybe it's my young co-workers. It could just be that I'm trying to mentally stay young. It's not so much what I find humorous (I always enjoyed bathroom humor) but it's some of the stupid shit that comes out of my mouth that sometimes gets people in stitches and occasionally, me into trouble.

It's not like my humor was particularly sophisticated but there was at least a modicum or intelligence in my quips and comments. There will always be that but at the same time there are these examples (none of which I'm particularly proud of) what I'm talking about:

- I taught one of the young hostesses what "dropping the kids off at the pool" meant and enjoyed it a little too much, like I'm bathroom-humor Yoda or something.

- Last Tuesday was spent telling my co-workers various facts about Chuck Norris, which was met with either laughs, confusion, or hostility. (Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.)

- I can't go more than two days without ending someone's comment with an out-of-context "that's what she said."

- During a busy rush at work, a co-worker asked me if I needed anything and my reply was "a nice, sloppy blow-job. Oh you mean right now? Umm, I'm good." (She's still laughing.)

- Stupid shit like this.

- And this.

- One of the managers was telling us how it's our duty to help each other when it gets busy, and a co-worker and I started giggling because he said "duty."

There are other, better (worse?) example but I think I lost enough respect as it is. Remind me again why I'm still single?

Then again, at least I haven't resorted to puns. I'll never stoop that low.

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:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 8:18 PM [+] :: | 0 comments

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