:: Life on Planet Dan-E ::

:: Friday, July 27, 2007 ::

:: A Little Lost ::

It was almost two years ago that I was out getting a few numbers here and there. There was Eve, Tennis Girl, and Bridgette. TG was a smoker which is one of my deal-breakers, and I didn't sense anything with Bridgette. Eve was kinda by accident and I wasn't the smoothest in getting her number but at least I got it. (Which, nowadays, would actually count for something.) So Eve turned out to be a flake and it didn't work out and we never even went out once. But at least I made some sort of attempt.

I don't know what's so fucked up in my brain that I can't even seem to get the number these days. Carly might have been showing signs of interest but I wussed out because her dad was there. Of course, I probably would have wussed out even if her dad wasn't there.

I haven't seen Carly since that last time so maybe that's an opportunity lost. Fine. There's this other girl whose name I don't know yet because, well, I haven't asked. (Believe it or not, I don't go to these clinics to meet women. I actually take my tennis workouts seriously and being rather competitive, I usually don't get distracted just because some girl has nice legs. Usually.) We're at different skill levels so we usually get split up and there's not much interaction between to two of us. We played once but that was it, at the time I had too much crap on my mind (read: wallowing in my self-loathing) to really notice anything about her.

Usually, I show up, pay, play tennis, and leave. Few, if any hellos and byes. I'm friendly with everyone but I don't mingle too much since for me, it's exercise, not a social outlet. But she started up with the "hi" and "good night" the following weeks. Last night, I tried making some lame small talk with her, which for whatever reason (read: my innate lameness) went nowhere.

I don't know. There might have been something there. Or maybe I'm so hard up that I'm imagining it. There's only one way I could have found out. And naturally, I missed my moment, since she left before I did since my match went a little longer than her clinic. (And I didn't even win the Goddamn set so you can imagine my mood while walking home that night.)

Think that's lame, I have another one. I was at Publix shopping for groceries on a Friday night. I grab my cart, and while walking past the cheese section, I notice a cute blonde in a brown tank top chatting away on her cell phone. I don’t really pay attention to whatever inane conversation she might have been having since I find most public cell conversations annoying anyway.

Still, we crisscrossed a couple of times as we made out way down the grocery store and I to her credit, she wasn't yapping on her cell any more. I was almost done, and while browsing one of the aisles, I notice the blonde has pulled up in the same aisle. I'm a little confused about what to look for so I figure "what the hell" and ask for her advice. (It wasn't a lame attempt at a pickup. I really did need some help on what to get. As for what it was, it's rather embarrassing so I'd rather not mention it.) She's helpful, quite friendly, and has a very nice smile. We banter very briefly before she moves to the next aisle.

Naturally, the way things have been going, it didn't occur to me until right then that maybe, just maybe, she might have been sending me some signs. I should have asked. She could have said "no" but big deal, at least I tried right? I choked. Just before I head to check out, she walks by, looks at me, smiles and says "bye!" Strike three. Hanging curveball outside and belt high and I don't even take the bat off my shoulders.

I need to get my head on straight. Maybe I'm thinking too much. Or maybe I'm not thinking enough. I don't know. I just don't know.

Labels: dating, I'm an idiot, in a rut, introspective

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 11:54 PM [+] :: | 0 comments
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