:: Life on Planet Dan-E ::

:: It could have been worse. I could have interviewed to be a window cleaner guy at a peep show. ::

Actually, the interview went pretty well considering the lack of preparation time and my inability to get my printer working. As it turns out, the job was more along the lines of graphic design/marketing using predetermined templates for use in their marketing division. As it is, they were looking for someone with a bit more experience in heading up marketing work but the woman who interviewed me - also a Miami Ad School grad, oddly enough - liked my worked enough that they'd keep me on the short list of contacts whenever they need some freelance work. It seemed like a cushy job and all but I was doing similar work before and my whole reason for going to art school in the first place was so I wouldn't have to do that anymore.

But it was still nice to get my first post-grad job interview out of the way as a way getting myself focused on finding a real job. I've been out of school for about six months and this is only my first one simply because I haven't been putting in that much effort. I spent two long years at school working my ass off - including a fairly intense three-month Internship - with hardly a break the last three quarters. (Including classes in the summer! Two years in a row! You know how weird that is for me?! Going to summer school?! That's about as unlikely as seeing a Rabbi chowing down at a Tony Roma's! Or a Muslim at a Morton's Steakhouse. Or, for that matter, me in the produce aisle.) Simply put, I was burned out and I needed a break from thinking about ads.

Of course I didn't think this break would last this long but it just so happened that The Girlfriend weaved her way into my life and that's been another distraction. (But I don't mean "distraction" in a bad way. She's been a great distraction for me, kinda the same way you'd be happy to see a buddy if he showed up at your place at 2am with a some weed and his "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas" DVD after you've been studying strategy for four hours straight. In other words, it's a good thing. Not that I would know anything about that.)

And it doesn't help that I live in a city where there's sunshine year-round and I like the fact that the bulk of my minimal responsibilities are paying bills and keeping The Girlfriend is happy. I can work on freelance projects at my leisure. I can watch the 2am rerun of Sunday Night Baseball without worrying about having to wake up early to miss the traffic jam. I'm enjoying this downtime since I know that once I get my grown-up job, I'm going to fully immerse myself in that job for the next 3-5 years. And I'm ok with that. In fact I'm looking forward to it and I know I'll enjoy it.

But I'm really enjoying my life the way it is now.

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 2:15 PM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: I... I have a what? ::

I was meeting with my buddy DT to work on stuff for our portfolios and during a lull in concepting, he told me about a possible job lead he was pursuing. It wasn't an ad agency. It's for the marketing division at a real estate development company. Just a few minutes after mentioning it, he gets a call from said company to confirm his interview. Near the end of the conversation he mentions that he has "a buddy that's an Art Director who might be interested. Do you have any spots available for this weekend?"

It took a few seconds for me to realize he was talking about me.

"Yeah, he's right here. I'll put him on the phone."

He hands his cell over.

"Uhh, I umm... Hi?"

I'm such a smoothie on the phone. I manage to recover enough to ask a couple of question and schedule an interview.

And it's in one hour. Wish me luck.

(Oh, by the way, I'm down to 212 lbs.)

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 2:32 PM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: This Job is Really Getting into my Head ::

I've always known that I snore when I sleep. One thing I didn't know until recently was that apparently, I also talk in my sleep. And The Girlfriend, who never passes up an opportunity to give me shit, loves to update me on my latest somnambulant soliloquy. I'm usually rambling about some random thing that she finds incredibly amusing (topics including baseball, "Friends," and um, personal habits) and sometimes it's me in a situation where I'm having an imaginary conversation with someone (I think there was this one time I turned down a woman who was hitting on me since I was already taken. Or maybe that was just a dream I had).

So last night, I was talking in my sleep again and this time I was, according to her, trying to explain to a customer what you can and can't have at my restaurant. Except it wasn't seafood. Apparently, I was a waiter at a restaurant that specializes in - get this - hot dogs.

Now, I've had plenty of different jobs where I'd have rough weeks and have dreams - nightmares really - about my current place of employment but this... this is unprecedented. And the part that kinda disturbs me is that I just blogged about my concerns about maybe being too good at my job just a few days ago and two nights ago, I cooked up some bratwurst for The Girlfriend. (And not to brag or anything but she said that I make the best brats she's ever eaten and keep in mind, she's from the Midwest. It helped that I used Johnsonville Brats because unless you live in Wisconsin [in which case you have my deepest condolences... Green Bay sucks and, let's face it, that's really all you have] there are no better brats available. Sorry, I'm rambling.)

So my latest sleep-talking episode I was explaining to customers the day's specials and what you can and can't get on a certain sausage. (And speaking from experience, if you're eating a Weisswurst, you really want sauerkraut and a good German wheat bier... er... beer. Really. And don't ever put ketchup on Kielbasa. I'm serious. I lived in Prague, trust me on this.) And the really odd part was that she said I was using my "Waiter Voice." I don't even know what that means but since she's visited my restaurant quite a few times, she knows exactly what that must sound like. And she said that at one point, I was using that "polite but firm" voice, almost like I'm talking to a child. And I know what she's talking about because it's the voice I use whenever I get a customer that complains that the fish tastes "fishy."

Normally, I'd just laugh and brush this off but the timing of my latest dream rant is just a little weird for me. I need a vacation. Or maybe I just need to start looking for a real job. Or I just need to sleep alone more often.

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 1:23 AM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: At Least I'm not a Data Processor ::

I've been a server at my restaurant since December and I've gotten pretty good at it. Not to say that I wasn't a good waiter at my previous jobs but every restaurant has their quirks and my current place of employment is no different. If anything, there are more quirk to try to get used to. It took me a couple of weeks after training to figure out how to work everything (the "computers" we use are older than some of my underwear. And that's pretty old.) but thanks to my previous experience the adjustment went smoothly and I seem to have figured out the how to work the joint at maximum efficiency. I'm not quite as adept as some of the other guys who are career waiters and bartenders but I'm good enough at this that I can support myself pretty easily.

The majority of my customers leave happy but over this last weekend, I've quite had a few patrons tell me I'm a "great waiter" before leaving. Just last night, I won one of our "server competitions" where I sold the most lobsters, stones crabs, and a certain bottle wine for that shift and brought home a nice bottle and $20 for myself as a result. You'd think I'd be happy about this but... eh. If anything, this weekend kinda left me depressed.

You guys remember that episode of "Friends" during the first season (of course you do!) where Chandler quit right after being promoted to senoir "Data Processor?" (It was called "The one with the Stoned Guy.") His reason for quitting was that his job was supposed to be only temporary, but he's been at this for five years now. Accepting this promotion would be like conceding that this is what he's going to do for the rest of his life. In order to figure out his career path, he goes and sees a career conselor. after nine hours of testing, he's perfectly suited for... Data Processing.

You may be wondering what all this has to do with my current employment status but let's just say that I can relate to his situation somewhat. But unlike Chandler, I don't have the luxury of being able to quit being as it waiter wanna-bes are a dime a dozen in South Beach, and they're not going to offer me a higher salary with a corner office. I mean, they can't even guarantee weekend shifts on a good section (And don't even try to figure out how it is that I can recall details of that episode of "Friends" so well despite not having seen it in a while). It's a little disheartening to spend $28,000 (for just tuition) on art school and have random strangers tell you you're a "great waiter" for recommending that Merlot from Chile to go with your Salmon. And don't even get me started on the fact that women in their 40s and older seem to love me. (Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, other than that I kinda wish it was women in their 20s.)

And this is despite the fact that one of my former classmates and I used to joke about being able to servers or bartenders and having something to fall back on if this advertising thing doesn't work out (he has a nice job in Philly now). Now, don't get me wrong; if the worst thing I can complain about right now is a job that I sometimes don't like, I lead quite the charmed life. I don't have to worry about going hungry or homeless. I have good friends and a girlfriend who loves me (more than I deserve). This is why I tell my left-brained friends that they should be happy they're not creative types. They have *real* problems. My problems are existential. And personally, I'd rather have one with tangible solutions.

But at least I have a good bottle wine to enjoy until I do.

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 1:55 AM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: Or Not ::

I'm not really planning on taking a break from this blog. I just thought it'd be funny to write that post (check the date) but apparently, I was the only one who thought so.

So anyway, one of the recent developments in my life is that The Girlfriend and I have decided to try to lose weight together. She's a little upset about not being able to fit into some of her favorite clothes and while I can still fit into most of mine, I had to go up a notch on my belt and some of my shirts are fitting a little too tight for comfort. (That and I'm having trouble finding my nutsack. Just kidding. I know where it is. It's in a pickle jar in The Girlfriend's pantry.) After some debate, I decided to go back on Atkins since it worked so well for me before.

Two things:

When I did it before, a couple of friends who were already on it introduced it to me and we had our own little Atkins support system working so it was easy to stay on it. As the saying goes, "misery loves company" but apparently, it also loves a good barbecue. Being on my own doesn't exactly help and as every guy knows, having your lady harping on you to stay on it sometimes has the opposite effect.

The other thing that helped was that I didn't work at a restaurant. Trying to diet while working at a restaurant is like trying to shake kleptomania by forcing people to give you things to take. That it's a seafood place doesn't exactly help, since there's always an abundance of bread, roasted potatoes, and umm, beer lying around. (And The Girlfriend seems even more tormented since she's surrounded by sandwiches, sugary pastries, and Venti White Mochas.)

Also not helping is that last weekend, I was forced to meet up with some friends (the same way Luciano Pavoratti might be "forced" to eat a giant meatball) two nights in a row at Lost Weekend and if you know anything about South Beach, if you go to Lost Weekend, you kinda have to drink. And being as it was forced to drink beer, which isn't exactly lo-carb-friendly (I'm pretty sure Guinness doesn't have a "lite" version) that put a rough start to my diet as well.

Whatever, I did it before and I can certainly do it again. And i figured that a little accountability might be helpful so I'm gonna periodically update my progress on this blog. In January I weighed 205. Right now, I'm at a hefty 225. My goal? 195. Wish me luck.

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 11:34 PM [+] :: | 0 comments
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