:: Life on Planet Dan-E ::

:: Thursday, April 13, 2006 ::

:: This Job is Really Getting into my Head ::

I've always known that I snore when I sleep. One thing I didn't know until recently was that apparently, I also talk in my sleep. And The Girlfriend, who never passes up an opportunity to give me shit, loves to update me on my latest somnambulant soliloquy. I'm usually rambling about some random thing that she finds incredibly amusing (topics including baseball, "Friends," and um, personal habits) and sometimes it's me in a situation where I'm having an imaginary conversation with someone (I think there was this one time I turned down a woman who was hitting on me since I was already taken. Or maybe that was just a dream I had).

So last night, I was talking in my sleep again and this time I was, according to her, trying to explain to a customer what you can and can't have at my restaurant. Except it wasn't seafood. Apparently, I was a waiter at a restaurant that specializes in - get this - hot dogs.

Now, I've had plenty of different jobs where I'd have rough weeks and have dreams - nightmares really - about my current place of employment but this... this is unprecedented. And the part that kinda disturbs me is that I just blogged about my concerns about maybe being too good at my job just a few days ago and two nights ago, I cooked up some bratwurst for The Girlfriend. (And not to brag or anything but she said that I make the best brats she's ever eaten and keep in mind, she's from the Midwest. It helped that I used Johnsonville Brats because unless you live in Wisconsin [in which case you have my deepest condolences... Green Bay sucks and, let's face it, that's really all you have] there are no better brats available. Sorry, I'm rambling.)

So my latest sleep-talking episode I was explaining to customers the day's specials and what you can and can't get on a certain sausage. (And speaking from experience, if you're eating a Weisswurst, you really want sauerkraut and a good German wheat bier... er... beer. Really. And don't ever put ketchup on Kielbasa. I'm serious. I lived in Prague, trust me on this.) And the really odd part was that she said I was using my "Waiter Voice." I don't even know what that means but since she's visited my restaurant quite a few times, she knows exactly what that must sound like. And she said that at one point, I was using that "polite but firm" voice, almost like I'm talking to a child. And I know what she's talking about because it's the voice I use whenever I get a customer that complains that the fish tastes "fishy."

Normally, I'd just laugh and brush this off but the timing of my latest dream rant is just a little weird for me. I need a vacation. Or maybe I just need to start looking for a real job. Or I just need to sleep alone more often.

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 1:23 AM [+] :: | 0 comments
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