:: Life on Planet Dan-E ::

:: Thursday, June 12, 2008 ::

:: Server Stories: Pothead ::

If there's one thing that every restaurant I've worked at in Miami has in common, it's that the majority of people who work there think I like to smoke. And I'm not talking cigarettes. (Or salmon.) People at my last job thought this, and people at my current job thought (think) this. Lou, the wasabi guy, is a major pothead and when he got settled into South Beach, asked me of all people, if I knew any connections to get some good weed.

"No" was my simple answer, to which his reply was something along the lines of "come on, don't hold out" and "I haven't gotten high since I moved." "I don't smoke that shit, dude." He came back with a very surprised "REALLY?"

Stuff like this happens every now and then. During a poker night at Lou's, a few of my buddies take a smoke break, and Lou decides to take a, um, smoke break. He passes his joint around and the cigarette smokers decline, and being content with my beer, also decline. One of them is surprised that I passed on a perfectly good joint, again thinking I was a major pothead.

The real story? I've tried it maybe five times my entire life, and I've been high only once. That one time was with a friend's glass bong that looked big enough to transport oil. He took the liberty of loading it up for me, after which I inhaled, held it, and proceeded to cough up my lung and part of my large intestine. Fifteen minutes later, I wanted to get up off the couch and get another beer, except I couldn't because my legs got up and went to the next room under their own power. Everything suddenly slooowwed doowwwn. Talking in complete sentences became difficult. I had revelations about life. I found the carpet incredibly fascinating.

He said your first high is usually your greatest. Oh okay. (Wait, you guys actually go to work like this?) I didn't care for it. It was kinda like being drunk (which I don't care for either... however I do enjoy a good buzz once in a while) but with a lot more numbness. I haven't done it since and that was over a year ago.

This misperception of me is more amusing than anything. I have similar stories from places I worked, people from school, and random people I meet in Miami. I was curious about why people would think this and these are some of the more popular reasons:

• I'm very laid-back and relaxed. It takes a lot to get my flustered or angry. And if we're trying to decide where to go drink or eat, my response is usually, "dude I'm okay with anything."

• I say "dude" a lot.

• The long hair. People think I'm a hippie. (Dude, that's like, so way off.)

• I'm always hungry.

• I know the significance of 4/20.

• I'm very caffiene-dependent and if I don't get my morning fix, I can sometimes be sluggish and absent-minded.

There a few other things as well but I think you get the point, dude.

Labels: drugs, dude, pot, server stories

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 12:33 AM [+] :: | 0 comments
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