:: Life on Planet Dan-E ::
Thoughts, observations, and introspections from an
:: Monday, May 22, 2006 ::
:: Friday, May 19, 2006 ::
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On the first day of school a grade school teacher tells her class that she is a San Francisco Giants fan. She asks her kids if anyone else likes the Giants. Wanting to impress the teacher, all the kids raise their hands except one little girl. The teacher looks her with surprise and says "Sandy, why didn't you raise your hand?"
"Because I'm not a Giants fan," she replied.
The teacher, still surprised, asked, "Well, if you're not a Giants fan then what are you?"
"I'm a Los Angeles Dodgers fan and proud of it," Sandy replied.
Appalled, the teacher asked her, "Sandy, why are you a Dodgers fan?"
"'Cuz my mom and dad are both Dodgers fans so I'm a Dodgers fan too!"
"Well," said the teacher in an annoyed tone, "that's not a good reason to be a Dodgers fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all the time. I mean, what if your mom was an idiot and your dad was a moron, then what would you be?"
"Then," Janie smiled, "I'd be a Giants fan."
- Sent to me by a friend. Written by...?
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Someone (who isn't a baseball fan) recently asked me why I hate Frisco so much. It's not so much that I dislike SanFran (though there is that) as much as I hate the Giants. The Dodgers/Giants rivalry is the West Coast equivalent of the Red Sox/Yankees and while it may not be as highly publicized, (East Coast bias) it's just as impassioned.
But there is also a city rivalry. To briefly explain it, most Friscans hate L.A. and Angelinos, whereas many Los Angeles residents aren't even sure that San Francisco exists. If you were to ask us about geography, a lot of us might tell you that the world goes as far north as Santa Barbara, after which I-5 and the 101 freeway abruptly fall off a cliff.
Just so we're clear, there's a few of us (like, a few dozen) who know there's intelligent life north of Santa Barbara - there certainly isn't much intelligent life IN Santa Barbara - since we get a lot of our computer parts from San Jose. But part of what drives Friscans absolutely bonkers is their hatred for Southern California is completely unrequited. We know this. And we don't really care. We continue to barely acknowledge its existence. And Friscans continue to get all riled up and we just smile and ask "where?" After which we sit back and enjoy our great weather.
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Everyone in Southern Cal knows that the number 714 represents all that's apocryphal, arrogant, and complete misrepresentations. And a crappy TV show is perpetuating this propaganda.
In other news, Barry Bonds hit number 714* over the weekend.
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If there's anyone from Frisco who reads this blog, I offer full disclosure: I've been there many times and I do think San Fransisco is one of the most beautiful cities around. And there are good things about it: my 49ers (well, they were good at one point), the best Chinese food outside of China, good sourdough bread... umm... my 49ers?
My apathy towards the city can be explained by a saying circulated among guitarists: "I'd love Jazz music, if it wasn't for all the Jazz guitarists." Friscans can be a little high strung and overly vocal at times but that's not quite it. These tree-hugging, neo-hippies' chief complaint about L.A. seems to be that it's a town where you must own a car to get anywhere (that and it's lack of a single distinct culture). They proudly state how everyone in SanFran walks and/or takes public transportation because they're "environmentally conscious."
Really? Then why do so many people up there smoke? And why is there so much goddamn traffic every time I go?
But San Fransisco is a beautiful city.
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Final note: To the Anaheim Angels and all their fans: There is ONLY ONE baseball team in L.A. You take your little Mickey Mouse ballclub and suck it!!!
:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 8:38 AM [+] ::
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:: Monday, May 15, 2006 ::
...$46.50 to fill the tank of her Malibu (Yeah a Malibu. Don't laugh, she's from Michigan. And it's actually a very nice car. Fully loaded, strong engine, shockingly reliable - so far - and you can start the car with the remote!!! Let's see you do that on your Toyota. Sorry, I digress. Again.) My last car was a Honda Civic and I bitched the first time I had to fork over $20 to gas up. $46.50. That ain't right.
:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 12:28 AM [+] ::
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:: Saturday, May 13, 2006 ::
Yesterday was a Mother's day first for me in that I received my first Mother's Day card. Except I don't have any kids (that I know of). I have turtles. Two little, baby Red-Eared Sliders. The Girlfriend, having the kind of humor that she does, got me a card and told me it was from "the kids." Rather fitting one too, since it was written for stepmoms and contains the phrase "...even though you're not our real mom..."
A brief history, TG's kid came down to visit us last month and she liked me enough to buy me a little turtle (including three more for her family). I got the one that for whatever reason, was a litte slow and dopey-looking (in a cute sorta way) so we named him "Lenny" (you get a cookie if you get the reference). Unfortunately, Lenny was ill so he died just a couple of days later. I got a little attached to having a pet so I got a couple more. These two were more normal looking, far more lively, and fortunately, much healthier, since they've been fine for thee last three weeks. So anyway, meet my little babies, Mike and Mike.
(Little) Mike
(Big) Mike
I named them both "Mike" after my favorite Los Angeles Dodgers catchers (Mike Scioscia and Mike Piazza) but TG thought I named after "Mike and Mike" of ESPN's morning radio show. Which I guess kinda works for me also. (And yes, I openly admit to watching a TV show about two guys doing a radio show about sports.) Hard to believe people think I'm obsessed with sports, right?
Mike and Mike basking.
"We weren't doing anything. I swear!"
The "mom" label does seem to be a better fit for me than her since she's the one who paid for the tank and their food while I'm the one who feeds them, cleans their tank, changes their water... and generally dotes over them. All I need is a gigantic SUV and a seething sense of entitlement and my journey into mommy-dom is complete.
:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 5:45 PM [+] ::
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:: Friday, May 05, 2006 ::
Our host is the brother of the owner and comfortably in the retirement stage of his life. He doesn't have to work but he hosts and keeps an eye on the restaurant to keep himself busy. He's nice enough guy once you get past the grumpy-old-man facade but he sometimes seats customers wildly inconsistently and for whatever reason, I got the bitch treatment this entire week. Complaining won't do any good since all he'll do is become ornery and tell you to leave if you don't like here. I suppose I could find work elsewhere (for example, at an Ad Agency) but I'm too far gone to want to learn the ins and outs of a different restaurant. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy my place of work, I like being a waiter, and I'm grateful to have this job but I just had one of those weeks and I need to vent a litte. Thing will get better.
I hope.
:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 2:07 AM [+] ::
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While I would never resort to this as a way of dealing with pain-in-the-ass customers (I'd much rather jab them in the face with my corkscrew), there is a small part of me that wants to shake this employee's hand.
:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 12:15 AM [+] ::
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