:: Life on Planet Dan-E ::

:: Going, going... ::

I'm off to Prague!

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 5:33 PM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: Excited? Yeah, sorta... ::

I have two and a half more days left in Miami Beach before heading out to Prague and all things considering, I should probably be more excited. Or at least, I should be more outwardly excited. I don't know, I mean I've never been to any part of Europe and for most people Eastern Europe isn't really their first place to start. I'm filled with anticipation though, and I'm looking forward to whatever challenges that I'll face.

A couple of friends back home that I talked to are surprised that I'm so calm about the whole thing. It doesn't surprise me that I'm reacting this way since when I moved out to Miami a year and half ago, I wasn't excited the way most people would think I would be. I suppose if I was younger I'd have more of a reaction but at the time, it just seemed like a logical next step in life. This trip to Prague is similar; it's just another step in life, but I'm only going to be gone for about three months and in my mind, it's not nearly as drastic as moving my entire life across the country. I'm not minimizing it in any way; it's not that big a deal, even though it is, if that makes any sense.

Oddly enough, if this was a week vacation, I probably would be more visibly excited. I'm looking forward to it to a similar degree as one might view a vacation and I know I'm going to enjoy the experience.

Besides, I keep hearing that the women in Prague are like, totally hot =)

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 12:10 AM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: Clean up Baseball ::

As a diehard Baseball fan, this steroid controversy is a little distressing. As if past labor disputes weren't enough to nearly ruin The Game, this latest hurdle could potentially irreparably derail baseball for the next few years as every little achievement will be scrutinized and overanalyzed in an overzealous witch-hunt.

As much as Jose Conseco's book is a revenge piece against baseball for blackballing him, as much as it's a lashing out to a former teammate whose legacy and admiration is a source of bitter jealousy, that book - and it hurts to write this - just might end up being good for Baseball in the long run. Yeah, it's a book written by a guy who's desperately trying to milk his last few seconds of fame but if the collateral effect is that The Game of Baseball is cleaned up to the point where even the most powerful hitters are beyond reproach, damn the source. I'm usually not one to advocate the "any means to an end" a mentality but it's not like I have much of a say.

But let's look at some facts before pointing the accusatory finger and those indicted; at the time steroids, THG, and other performance enhancing drugs were not illegal. Players could take them without fear of repercussion since technically, it wasn't cheating. By no way am I advocating or condoning steroid use but you have at least seen it from the player's perspective during this period. No one will ever convince me that at least half of the players were on steroids as some have alleged, since by this time there was enough information available to the general public about the risks involved. Still, I'm sure there were a number of players who felt the need to juice up in order either remain competitive or make themselves a few extra dollars. And if there was nothing in the rulebooks mandating its absence, who’s to tell them otherwise? But I think the majority preferred to do it the old fashion way: through hard work and training.

Professional athletes, sports analysts, physical trainers, and numerous other knowledgeable pros will agree that one of the hardest acts in all of sports is to hit a baseball traveling 90 mph with a bat that has a circumference not much larger than the ball itself. Steroids will not help someone make contact with the ball. Pete Rose, one of the greatest hitters of all time, wasn't known for hitting homers. Will it make a person who can hit a baseball hit it further? Even that’s debatable since you have to factor in not just strength but timing, bat speed, swing angle, etc. Case in point; 6'3"240lbs., 28 year old Chicago White Sox catcher A.J. Pierzynski hit 35 home runs (and a very good .294 career batting average) in the last 4 years playing in a ballpark that’s known to allow a higher than average number of homers. He's likely in the prime of his career. 6'3" 215lbs., 36-year-old NY Mets catcher Mike Piazza has 100 homeruns in the last 4 years, this is while competing against the slightly better pitchers of the National League as well as playing in a large pitcher's parks his entire career. (In fact, six times Piazza hit more homers in one year than Pierzynski had in the last four.) All during the waning years of his career, where his body is starting break down. Neither has ever been accused of steroid use, yet both are, in their own ways, very prolific hitters. Now, I know that this is an overly simplified, not-even-close-to-scientific sample of the MLB but I’ve made my point. (I think.)

And this whole Congressional hearing circus... The House Government Reform Committee issuing subpoenas for who know what. Shouldn't they be more focused on reforming, I don't know, government? (I'm just saying.) As if congress doesn't have enough to deal with - war, Halliburton, Weapons of Mass Destruction and they decided to focus on: Baseball. Good choice. That went absolutely nowhere. Government has many roles but one thing they absolutely cannot do is try to legislate morality. It's something that the league has to do itself. All it did was sensationalize an abrasion on the skin of America's pastime and the result was embarrassment for The Sport and a tarnished legacy of one its most beloved figures. (Never mind the endless fodder for late night jokes: Mr. Palmeiro, what are you most embarrassed of: the steroid allegations or your Viagra commercials?) All Mark McGwire had to do was say "I did not use steroids. Ever." Did he really think anyone would believe Conseco's word against his? And yet, on such a grand stage, he choked. He was overcoached. He went against instinct. Instead of swinging away, he was thinking too much. He had a meatball over the plate on a full count and he struck out looking.

As many problems as Baseball as had over the last couple of decades, it didn't need this to drag it down any further. Fortunately, the comeback that it has made the last several years seems to be holding since interest and ticket sales have held steady. I really want to believe that in a few years, thanks to heavier policing and stricter accountability, Baseball can be played and viewed without any questions. I wrote this last summer:

"...if Webster was a baseball fan, you'd see a picture of a baseball diamond next to the word 'good.' Even when the baseball is bad, people will still show up in droves because it's still good. This is what something as storied as baseball can do. It inspires. It draws people together and unites them. People will revere it, people will write songs and create movies about it. Families and friends will not only go to a ballpark, but will a make pilgrimages to one.

"Baseball is good."

More than ever, I want those words to ring true.

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 1:07 AM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: Headaches ::

I haven't had a drop of caffeine since Saturday and you cannot imagine the kind of headaches that sudden withdraw brings. And it's not just the headaches; it's the sluggishness, the utter lack of energy to do just about anything. My arms feel like they're about twelve feet long, I'm having trouble talking in complete sentences, and my brain is catatonic. I don't know what it is caffeine does to your body but I'm pretty sure that if I go any longer without it, my skull is going to cave in.

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 2:27 PM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: Say What? ::

This conversation happened last summer but for whatever reason, it just sticks in my mind.

Buddy: She offered you to buy you coffee?

Me: Yeah.

B: And you turned her down?!

M: I had to go to a meeting.

B: Dan-E, if a girl offers to buy you a drink you don't say no! You could have shown up a little late. Most guys would understand.

M: Yeah but that meeting was with [a girl].

B: Yeah but still...

M: It seems to be happening a lot lately.

B: Really?

M: You know [Michelle] at Dewey's?

B: Yeah.

M: Well, I was there last weekend. I'd already been there for a little bit doing homework and she offered to buy me a beer.

B: And you said no.

M: I already had a couple...

B: Dan-E, Dan-E, Dan-E...

M: Yeah, yeah.

B: Sometimes, you just have to take one for the team.

M: Yeah I... wait... what?!

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 12:32 AM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: Yeah, like he's so funny... not ::

So last night was my debut performance as a Stand-up Comic. It was also my grand finale as a comic which. That isn't at all an indictment of my performance but more that I just don't want to have to do that again any time soon.

I couldn't begin to tell you just how nervous I was before going up. I had originally planned on spending the entire day going over the monologue before but since I had to complete work for my copywriting class I wasn't able to start on it until almost 6:00. And the thing started at 8:00. I wasn't too worried at that point since I had been listening to a recording of myself going over the material all weekend. That a was a little rough since I really don't like the sound of my own voice.

Anyway, I do a final run-through in front of my class around 7:10 and I'm forgetting lines left and right and I'm stuttering badly. But I don't panic. I grab my script and head to an empty room upstairs. On the way up, I see a couple of friends of mine who are already milling about with beer in their hands. I walk up to one, grab her cup, drink half of it, hand the cup back, and walk up and rehearse my stuff a couple of times.

I had the misfortune of being drawn to go first... which SUCKED. Everyone knows I hate speaking in front of people. I also hate going first for anything. Put me in the middle and I'm good.

8:15 rolls around, I'm in my seat. My teacher G. Michael is doing the pre-show intros and I'm going over stuff one last time. My name is called... I grab a glass of water and walk up. My first couple of jokes work and then... everything is a complete blur.

Something happened in my head between getting up from my chair and grabbing the mike. It's like I just went into autopilot or something. I don't remember much beyond "how's everybody doing?" and "thank you that's my time." After I walked off the stage I let out a humongous sigh of relief. After which, I head straight to the keg and chugged a couple of beers.

I was just at school and saw the video. I wasn't perfect, and like the jokes I tell in real life, some of my stuff went over people's heads, which I expected. And there were a couple of moments where I just had to cringe at my stuff. But I got laughter, I didn't look too nervous and my hair was straight.

What was incredible is the way my heart was beating through my chest that night, even long after the show was over and we all headed to a bar and I got a couple of beers in me (thanks Carolina =)). It ended around 9:30 or so but the adrenaline never really came down until well past 11:00.

If I never did that again, I'd have no regrets but the class itself is one of the most fun I've ever had and the teacher was absolutely phenomenal. George Carlin has nothing to worry about, I'm not going to be supplanting him as a comic genius any time soon but I had my little moment in the spotlight and it's going to stay with me for a while.

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 4:22 PM [+] :: | 1 comments
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:: (Trying WAY to hard to) Be Cool. ::

I finally got around to seeing "Be Cool" last night, and most of my thoughts towards it are similar to what I thought of "Blade: Trinity" when I saw it at the end of last quaerter: Mildy entertaining with some good points but I was more entertained than I should have been since I was so tired.

John Travolta is Chili Palmer incarnate but he seems to be snoozing through that role whereas he seemed to relish it in "Get Shorty." Uma Thurman was good but again, not much of an interesting character. Vince Vaughn was hilarious playing the obnoxious "whiggger" though I was laughing more at him than with him, which I think was the point. Harvey Keitel was ok, and the whole "Dub-M-Ds" posse was amusing but the movie really belonged to Dwayne Johnson a.k.a. The Rock.

He stole the show every time he was on the screen and perfectly portrayed a character that could have gone either over the top or bordered on bad parody. He even makes fun of his own eyebrow raising thing. He's a far better actor than I would have ever thought he could be.

But what sank it was that the movie just tries way too hard to, uh, be cool. The parade of celebrities was fine but it's a little too "wink wink nudge nudge" for it's own good. As if it's implying that the audience is too dumb to get it.

It also falls back too much on it's "Pulp Fiction" references. It only goes there two or three times but that's still too much, and the dance scene in "Be Cool" only serves to remind us that the one in "Pulp" is far more energetic and erotic as well as that Travolta and Uma have much better chemistry as well.

The "Cadillac of ..." joke was funny in "Get Shorty" but here it just seems trite. For a movie set in LA, I thought there could have been more done with the locations, although the "Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles" reference was great.

Still it was entertaining. The scene with Aerosmith was awesome. The Rock stole the movie. Most of the material stayed faithful to the book. That was actually my biggest fear, that the changes to the details would detract from my enjoying the movie. Now the book was far better, as books usually tend to be but the spirit of the book was mostly intact. Despite its self-conciousness, there were plenty of entertaining moments that'll incite laughter. There are worse ways to spend two hours of your life.

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 5:36 PM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: Rain ::

It's been raining for the last couple of days and the temperature has settled into a comfortable, brisk, chill. One of my favorite types of weather is when it's warm, sunny, yet there's a mild drizzle coming down. It happens on occasion in L.A. but it's yet to occur here.

Still, as much as I love sunny weather, there's something comforting about a steady rain. It's cleansing in a way but sometimes, the sound of rain is almost as soothing as the sounds of crashing waves in Redondo Beach.

It’s not quite as nice when I'm sitting in my apartment, since the building outside my kitchen window has a metal awning and the rain pelting on it is loud and distracting. But out here at my favorite little café, I feel right at home. It's the perfect day for reading a good book; or a bowl of corn chowder; a roast beef sandwich; or aimless chatter with a friend.

Too bad I'm not doing any of those things right now.

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 10:28 AM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: Bye bye Miami ::

So short of any planning or logistical catastrophes, it looks like I'm going to spend next quarter in Prague.

You'd think I'd be more excited...

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 2:24 PM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: Work. Ok not really. ::

I'm supposed to be in a meeting trying to come up with ideas for a beer product but we're instead, halfway through "Garden State" (great movie by the way). I don't know if it's a good thing or not but this group I'm working with right now is having a hard time getting things done, not because we can't work with each other or anything, but we're constantly getting distracted by random conversation topics or we end up goofing around and stuff. We've already completed one project together and it turned out better than expected but we had similar problems at the time doing work. Only, not as bad.

Funny thing is, it doesn't bother any of us since we all seem to enjoy each other's company. At least for me it's been one of the more fun groups I've worked with. It's unfortunate that we're gonna split up at the end of the quarter but I'm personally gonna savor each moment with these people.

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 12:04 AM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: Multiple Aliases ::

1. YOUR PORN STAR NAME: (Name of first pet/Street you live on): Pokey Lenox (I actually live on 9th st. but that doesn't work.)

2. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME: (Name of your favorite snack food/Grandfather's first name): Apple ???

3. YOUR FASHION DESIGNER NAME: (First word you see on your left/Favorite restaurant): Oakley Hennessey (Actually it's Redondo Beach Brewing Company but again, doesn't work.)

4. EXOTIC FOREIGNER ALIAS: (Favorite Spice/Last Foreign Vacation Spot): Pepper Edmonton

5. SOCIALITE ALIAS: (Silliest Childhood Nickname/Town Where You First Partied): Dorkface Torrance

6. "FLY GIRL/BOY" ALIAS (a la J. Lo): (First Initial/First Two or Three Letters of your Last Name): D-Ki

7. ICON ALIAS: (Something Sweet Within Sight/Any Liquid in Your Kitchen): Splenda Olive Oil

8. DETECTIVE ALIAS: (Favorite Baby Animal/Where You Went to High School): Puppy Narbonne

9. BARFLY ALIAS: (Last Snack Food You Ate/Your Favorite Alcoholic Drink): Buffalo Wing Guinness

10. SOAP OPERA ALIAS: (Middle Name/Street Where You First Lived): Dan-E Normandie

11. ROCK STAR ALIAS: (Favorite Candy/Last Name Of Favorite Musician): Butterfingers Evans

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 1:41 AM [+] :: | 0 comments
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:: Where Everyone Knows Your Name Redux ::

I know too many people that have too many of the same names here. There's Annie, Anne, "Brazilian" Ana, "hot" Anna, Anna at Taste, and another Anna that went to a different campus. Then there's Jen, Jenne, Jenny, and J-Loo a.k.a. Jen. That doesn't include the numerous Jens I know back in LA. I know two guys named Josh and three different girls named Lindsey. There are four Jessicas, not including the Jessica that works at the front desk. I've met two Natalies and three Shelley. There were two other Daniels previously but they both went by Dan. There's a Danny but I'm still the only Dan-E.

You see now why I seem confused?

Speaking of names, I wrote a while ago about being a regular at some local places here. Now, it's one thing if people know me at these places but for some reason it feels odd when those people include the ones who work at Starbucks. Not that I'm complaining but it's weird when I don't go there for a few days and they say they were worried about me. I'm used to it at the local joints but there...

It does have its benefits. I've been living off nothing but those Starbucks sandwiches and salads for the last two days. Their policy is to throw the stuff out at the end of the day but every time I go there, they always ask me if I wanna take some home. Broke-ass college boy turn down free food? Unlikely. They're not the greatest things in the world or anything: the Pepper Chicken is the best and the Italian Panini is very tasty but Paninis need to be pressed. Then again, I really have no business complaining do I?

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 6:59 PM [+] :: | 0 comments
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