:: Life on Planet Dan-E ::

It's a day after the Super Bowl and Keyshawn Johnson is STILL talking. He's just repeating "I got a Ring!" over and over. So I guess the Tampa Bay Bucs are Super Bowl champs. I guess the old adage "offense wins games, defense wins championships" still holds true. I saw the game with a couple of old buddies and since the game itself wasn't that riveting, we had more fun heckling the game. There were a few points in the game where there was a genuine concern that Bucs backup QB Rob Johnson might come in to play a few snaps. Good gawd, Rob Johnson the gimp has a Ring. (For those of you who don't know, he has a reputation as being rather frail. While most QBs are followed by reporters and groupies, this guy is followed by an ambulance. Somewhere out there, Doug Flutie is crying.) You knew this game was over when the Raiders defense allowed starting QB Brad Johnson to run almost 10 yard to get the first down. I don't want to say he's slow or anything but 400lb guys at a buffet line move faster than he does. And RB Michael Pittman, who's been the most ineffective guy on Tampa's offense somehow gets 124 yard rushing?! Against the Raiders?! I have a feeling that Sting singing "sending out an SOS" during the halftime show was something Raider coach Bill Callahan put him up to.

Still, as much as I'd hate to admit it, Tampa Bay really deserves this one. Their defense was just as dominant as a defense could possibly be. I'd say even more so than the Baltimore Ravens of two years ago. They picked off Rich Gannon five times for crying out loud. Five! Two by MVP Dexter Jackson and two by Dwight Smith. Who?! Dwight who?!?

If you were to ask us, my friends and I think the game MVP should have gone to Gannon. Why? He threw five touchdowns. Granted, three were to the other team but no matter how you hack it, throwing five TDs in one game is very difficult.

I was never a huge Raider fan but I don't dislike them either, so I was rooting for the Bucs to lose due mainly to the fact that they beat my 49ers earlier in the playoffs. That and Keyshawn Johnson plays for them. Now he and fellow motormouth Warren Sapp have Super Bowl Rings. You thought they couldn't shut up before...

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 10:28 PM [+] :: | 0 comments
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While suffering through yet another bout of insomnia I heard something interesting while flipping through the channels. It seems one of Anna Nicole Smith's New Year's resolutions is to lose weight. I suppose I should confess to making the same resolution this year. I also want Anna Nicole Smith to lose weight.

Not that I watch the show or anything (I absolutely refuse to be seduced by the whole "reality" TV" craze) but what boggles my mind is how everything she says sounds like she's either plastered, stoned, or WAY overmedicated. And it's not so much the slurring, the dreadful grammar, and appalling diction. No. It's that every phrase (I can't call them "sentences" as that word would only apply to the unfortunate viewers) she utters is so damn whiney. "Noooo. I don't want iiiiit." Good gawd. Seriously, she's whinier than an 18-year old gold-digger who just got told "no" by her sugar daddy.

I realize it seems somewhat judgmental of me when I say that I can't believe that this show has lasted this long but come on. I can understand how watching the show is fascinating in the same way that a multi-car pileup on the 405 has a certain morbid appeal but after a while, you need to look forward, drive on and let the cleanup crew deal with it.

Yay, I just yawned. I'm going to sleep now.

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 7:50 AM [+] :: |
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So far, it's shaping up to be a fascinating Super Bowl. The best offense versus the best defense. Matchup of two coaches who took their team to the Super Bowl in their first year. Keyshawn Johnson's/Warren Sapp's mouth versus the Jerry Rice's/Tim Brown's/Rich Gannon's veteran experience. The Gruden/Chucky Bowl. (If it seems like I'm purposely trying to avoid the fact that I picked the Eagles over Bucs, then it's purely intentional.) I can almost imagine being an owner of a bar or restaurant down in San Diego right now hiding behind his cash register like Jeremy Davies' character cowering in the stairwell in "Saving Private Ryan" fearing the onslaught of Raider Nationals flooding into and permeating the city like some unholy Egyptian plague threatening to kill the firstborn child of any past and present football player while others pillage and burn the villages and rape the women to disperse the vile Silver and Black seed of evil in order to spread the influence of the Raider Empire the same way Edward the Longshanks tried to conquer Scotland, all being orchestrated by Al Davis who sits upon his throne up in Oakland overlooking his war like the Eye of Sauron sitting atop the tower of Mordor sending out his minions to devour and conquer the left coast like an army of Uruk-Hai sent to destroy Helms Deep in a manner similar to a pack of rabid hyenas pouncing on a dead, bloated carcass. Stop me before I sub-reference again!

As a football fan that has only seen games on TV, I'm quite amused by the Mardi Gras atmosphere and the costumes of Raider fans that resemble a bastard lovechild of the Renaissance Faire and the Rocky Horror Picture Show. I will admit though, that were I to attend a Raider home game there's no way in hell you'd catch me rooting for the other team. Some of these fans are intimidating and quite frankly, insane. I think it was Raiders guard Lincoln Kennedy who once said that if a bomb were to be dropped on Oakland Stadium during a game and all its guest killed, the crime rate in Oakland would go down by 75% (not an exact quote so don't hold me to it). I don't know if it's the silver and black face paint, the huge beards, the spiked shoulder pads, collars, and wristbands combined with the skull masks, bald heads, and belligerent attitudes (the male fans are even scarier) but I can see why fans of opposing teams who dare to brave the Black Hole are genuinely concerned about whether they're going to make it out alive.

So it seems only appropriate that for the Raider's first Super Bowl appearance in nineteen years they go against a team called the Buccaneers. The East Coast Raiders if you will and until recently, a rather sorry excuse of a football team. East Coast versus West Coast. The battle not for just the Lombardi Trophy, but for the bragging rights to owning the reputation of being the crowning symbol of unabashed, unbridled NFL thuggery for years to come.

Oh man it's SO on.

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 8:29 PM [+] :: | 0 comments
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Funniest bumper sticker I saw recently: "If you drink, don't park. Accidents cause people."

I'm really looking forward to see the outcomes of this weekend's football games. I thought that the Raiders/Titans game would be one sided but I read that Titans QB Steve McNair went yet another week with little practice due to an injury. That means the Titans have a legitimate shot at winning. (For the uninitiated McNair spent much of the second half of the regular season suffering from a myriad of injuries and went about two months without practicing. Yet he started every game and went 10-1. That was a sample of my dry, literary wit, in case you didn't get it.)

The Eagles/Bucs games should be more interesting. At least as interesting as a low-scoring matchup of defensive powerhouses can be. I think the Eagles have what it takes to win since their defensive schemes and constant pressuring should wear down the Buc's very mediocre offensive line. The Eagles have a slight edge on offense but the Buc's lousy running game will be easily stuffed. Provided Andy Reid doesn't pull a repeat of last year's final and call an overly conservative game plan. I see a Raiders/Eagles Super Bowl and that game should be fun to watch.

I will say this and you Raiders fans pay attention: For Oakland the Super Bowl is theirs to lose. They're playing a banged-up Titans with home-field advantage. The secondary is finally healthy, the defense is peaking at the right time, the offense is on a roll, they're playing in their Black Hole, which is probably the ultimate home-field advantage, and most importantly, there's NO SNOW. I don't want to hear any flimsy excuses about bad officiating this time around., ok?

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 10:17 PM [+] :: | 0 comments
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It came to my attention recently that the Miller Brewing Company has been receiving complaints about its latest commercial featuring two scantily clad, ample women fighting in a water fountain arguing whether Miller Lite "tastes great" or is "less filling."

It seem the biggest complaint is that commercial is only 30 seconds long.

Seriously though, this has to be one of the funniest commercials I've seen in a while. It doesn't give me an uncontrollable urge to go out and drink Miller Lite (if I wanted to drink water, I'd drink water) but as a guy who's aspiring to be an art director for an ad agency someday, I have to admit respect and admiration for the simple creativity behind this commercial. It's brilliant in that so-simple-why-didn't-anyone-think-of-this-before way.

I should also point out that it also reaffirms my long held beliefs that the quality of the beer commercial is inversely proportional to the quality of the beer itself. Budweiser, Coors, and MIller have always had good commercials and latest Heineken spots have been extremely well done. I can only hope that one day my creative abilities allow me to develop a commercial that convinces people to drink inferior malt beverages.

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 7:15 PM [+] :: | 0 comments
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It's been quite a while since my last blog hasn't it? (Thanks for reminding me Boo.) Well, first off I guess, Happy (belated) New Year to all five of my readers =P I hope all of you enjoyed your holidays because if it hasn't been already, it's back to normal now.

Second, it's already 2003!!! Two-thousand-freakin-THREE! Egads. Time just gets faster as I get older, can I tell you? No matter, I'm really hoping this year is better than last year. Not that last year was bad but I really need some things to happen this year.

Last, for the few of you who still read my random thoughts and crap, thanks for sticking around... and not mocking me about the content ;) Stick around a little longer, things might get interesting.

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 6:41 PM [+] :: | 0 comments
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