:: Life on Planet Dan-E ::

Thoughts, observations, and introspections from an art student waiter/bartender in South Beach. Arcane humor ensues.
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:: Wednesday, May 02, 2007 ::

:: Big Ass ::
I went to my usual Wednesday night tennis but instead of the usual clinic, there was a mixup with the available pros so I took a private clinic instead. We were standing around chatting afterwards and I asked him where I needed to improve.

"Your groundstrokes are fine. You just need to improve your conditioning and you'll be fine."


"You have those big legs so you move really well but you start dragging your feet when you get tired."


"And work on your serve." "Well, yeah." "But your forehand and backhand are some of the most fundamentally sound that I've ever seen." "Cool, thanks."

"And not to sound like a homo but you also have the biggest ass I've ever seen."


"You ever play soccer?" "Not really." (Being a goalie doesn't really count, I don't think.) "Football?" (Did it just get uncomfortable here or is it just me?) "Why do you ask?"

"Just curious. You're built like a football player."

"Yeah, I get that a lot (I do). Anyway, I gotta get going."

That was just awkward. It's one thing if guys compliment your biceps or your abs, and I've had random guys come up to me and ask me how my legs got so big back when I owned a gym membership and that was fine. It's even okay if your play on a sports team and your teammates slap your ass after a good play. But that's the first time a guy ever said anything about my ass being big - at least one that wasn't gay - and I'm pretty sure there's some unwritten Man Law against doing things like that.

I don't have a complex about having a big ass (or, at least I didn't) but that was just weird.

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:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 9:34 PM [+] :: | 0 comments

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