:: Life on Planet Dan-E ::

Thoughts, observations, and introspections from an ~~art student~~ waiter/bartender in South Beach. Arcane humor ensues.

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:: Thursday, January 25, 2007 ::

:: Server Stories: Part XX - Bathroom Sex ::
I probably should have posted this earlier but here it is anyway:

Before I get started, it wasn't me that was having the bathroom sex, just so we're clear (it was on the prep table, but that's neither here nor there). I was working New Year's Eve and considering how busy it was, I had a remarkably easy night. Easy enough that I noticed a 6'3" blonde woman walk in and sit at the bar. It wasn't that she particularly beautiful or anything, but any time a 6'3" blonde woman walks past, you kinda have to notice.

She was slurping Cosmos at the bar with a bald guy who's apparently her husband. About 45 minutes pass as I attend to my tables opening wine and champagne bottles, getting extra lobster forks, etc. It's at this time I notice the blonde returning to her seat at the bar.

Five minutes later, I'm at the host stand, chatting with another server when the owner, Brenda, excitedly approaches the nearby manager and starts telling us how she caught the blonde having sex with a guy in the women's restroom. As she recounts it, they were in the handicap stall (because they needed the room, I think), completely naked (not pants around the ankles, dress hiked up to her waist, and her thong yanked to one side; completely naked... NEKKID), with the stall door wide open (faulty latch? Who knows) going at it like they were on the set of a porno ("set of a porno" being my interpretation; not that I'd know anything about that). Pretty sweet, right?

Here's where it get's weird:

The husband was sitting at the bar the whole time.

And if anyone doubted her, everyone who worked that night went to the ladies' room to see for thermselves where the sink was ripped from wall.

Happy New Year indeed.

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On a side note, did anyone submit my last post to reddit.com? Just curious because my hits went from like, 18 to 180 yesterday.

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 1:10 AM [+] :: | 0 comments
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