:: Life on Planet Dan-E ::

:: Sunday, January 14, 2007 ::

:: My First (and hopefully, last) "Audition" ::

Actually, what it really was was an interview of sorts with a new club that's opening up close to the restaurant that I work at. Of course, this being South Beach and all, they can't just call it an interview, they have to advertise it as a "casting call" seeking people to "audition" for various positions ranging from bartender, security (my co-worker MZ actually suggested that I might do well as a bouncer since I'm a big guy with long hair and I can potentially look intimidating with a goatee. That and this one disruptive customer that came a few months ago actually quieted down when I approached him. Sorry, I'm digressing), bottle service, and I think a pole dancer or two. Okay I made that last part up.

So really, when I should be looking for interview opportunities with that little thing I went to school for two years for (what's it called... art... something), I'm looking at working a bar at a snooty club a couple of nights a week. It wasn't my idea but MZ didn't want to go alone so I tagged along, figuring it couldn't hurt.

What was it like? I supposed it isn't as emotionally degrading as a real casting call might be but there was a line down the block for prospective applicants who looked a little too eager, almost as if this job would be a make-or-break proposition for them. Be it paying their rent, maintaining (or replenishing) their stash, or saving up for a boob job, almost everyone there looked like they had a dire need for... I don't know, something. Also, I'm not sure who dresses skankier; girls who go to clubs or girls who want to work at a club. All I know is that I was paraded to miles of cleavege, of both the tits and the ass variety (if these pants get any lower, we're going to be able to see a fully-clothed girl's clitoral piercing. I'm serious. And I'm still debating whether is would be a good thing. And don't get me wrong, I love the clitoris but still. Let's move on.) Whatever, I wasn't complaining as I was treated to an eyeful as I was filling out my application.

About the application; the first two pages were the normal stuff you fill out: employment history, references, etc. Oddly, there wasn't anything inquiring your criminal history ("Have you ever been convicted of a crime?" No. "Explain?" Good lawyer.) I'm not sure why but I found this comforting, though I really should have felt consternation. However, that third page got a little... what's the word... umm... lame? There were questions ranging from the last movie I saw (Blood Diamond), the last magazine I bought (Road & Track), how many friends I have on myspace (seriously), to my favorite website (espn.com).

I wonder if the fact that I have only 19 friends on myspace will affect my chances.

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 12:06 AM [+] :: | 0 comments
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