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Thoughts, observations, and introspections from an art student waiter/bartender in South Beach. Arcane humor ensues.
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:: Monday, February 13, 2006 ::

:: Black Tuesday ::
So indulge me for a moment as I'm now one of the many people inundating the blogosphere with a "Valentine's Day sucks goat 'nads" post. Actually, it's not really about that as much as it's a "this is going to be my first Valentine's Day - sorta - and I have no fucking clue as to what the hell I'm supposed to do" post.

If you're wondering how it is a 31 year old guy has never celebrated V-day, it's quite simple. I have a severe allergy to long-term relationships and even my one relationship that lasted over a year was an on-and-off thing and one of those "off" moments happened during the months of December through February. So not only did I not have to do anything for her on V-day, I didn't have to blow Christmas money on her either. You'd almost think I planned it. (Her birthday was in January so I dodged that arrow, too. Seriously, not only was she materialistic and high-maintenance, she has the worst three-month block of significant dates that could put a crippling dent in a guy's wallet rivaled only by the burden of buying an engagement ring. I feel sorry for whatever poor sap she's exploiting, er... dating, right now. The fact that I asked her out around March could have proven fatal. God forbid she gets married in either March or November. Or maybe she's probably grown up a little since then. Eh, probably not. Sorry, I'm babbling again.)

(Speaking which, My Girl and I got together in January AND her birthday is in February, two weeks before Black Tuesday. I should just join a Monastery, take a vow of poverty and at least make it official. At least they get to brew their own beer. Or the ones in Belgium do, anyway. Or maybe I should start selling ad space on my blog so I can round up some rent money. Does anyone want a free iPod? Or a discount on perscription? Or a bigger penis? Umm, me neither. Ok, digression over.)

Now, lucky for me, she's incredibly low-maintenance in the sense that I don't actually have to spend a lot of money on her to make her happy. (Which isn't to say she isn't high maintenance in other ways. She requires a lot of attention - she actually said this to me the other night after a long day: "dude, get your ass over here and tuck me into bed NOW." I'm not even kidding.) Her favorite restaurant is the International House of Pancakes, for crying out loud. (And they really are quite international aren't they? Every time I walk in, I'm just blown away by the grand international decor, their incredibly diverse menu items - they have a Ceasar Salad! - and the incredibly helpful waitress/syrup sommelier helping me out with the restaurant's syrup selection: "sir, you must try the classic maple syrup today. It's fruity, but never precocious.")

She insists that I not spend a lot of money on her (I've had girls tell me this sort of crap before but they've never, you know, meant it) and she seems to be a rare type of girl that's happy as long as we're in each other's presence, regardless of whatever we're doing. Whether it's watching a movie, yelling at the TV during a football game, or something mundane like grocery shopping.

Still, I wanna do something nice. We're both working tomorrow, thank goodness (she's also a server/student) so I won't have to pay those ridiculously jacked-up prices at restaurants (I merely get to charge and get tipped for them) since we'll be doing our thing a few days after. It certainly beats my normal routine of griping about the manufactured nature of this bullshit holiday the preceding week, after which the actual evening is spend defiantly alone at a Starbucks with a mocha and a very good book. Not to say that this year will be much different. I've still spent the early last week griping about Black Tuesday (because really, it's a lot of fun) and I'll be serving deluded couples instead but there's a small part of me that really wants to do something.

I'll probably end up cooking for her. Not that it's anything special since it's something I've done for her previously and cooking is something I just enjoy anyway. And it's not like, gay or anything if a guy likes to cook for his girl and since it's supposed to be a V-day thing for her, she'll really like it even though it's just another evening at the stove for me (I'm starting to wonder now if this post even has a point any more). A buddy from work who just got engaged (to a girl) and I talked about how cooking is fun and relaxing for us. Like the last time I cooked fajitas for my Girl; just fire up the stove and put on some blues and I'm good. And it even works out because I'm dating one of those freaks who like cleaning and organizing so even though I try to tell her not to, she seems to enjoy cleaning up after me so after we're doing eating, she can do the dishes. It's a perfect match. (And I've clearly forgotten what this post was supposed to be about.)

(And I don't care what anyone says, typing parenthetically is fun.)

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 11:47 PM [+] :: | 0 comments
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