:: Life on Planet Dan-E ::

:: Thursday, January 06, 2005 ::

I just saw evidence to support the theory that Starbucks is either a Godsend or the anti-Christ. Either way, they just might end up taking over the world. I'm in one right now as I'm typing this. They introduced this new beverage called the "Chantico Drinking Chocolate" which is can best be described as hot chocolate on steroids.

This is the body copy on their in-store display: "Discover a sublime, new chocolate chocolateness with extra chocolate on top." In laymen's terms, they take a solid block of chocolate, melt it and pour the contents into a cup. If I'm exaggerating it's only slightly. Lightweight beer drinkers complain about Guinness being like motor oil but even motor oil isn't this thick. The guy behind the counter told me that if drinking the chocolate is a little too rich, they sell these rolled sugar cookie stick thingies to go with the... I don't think calling this a "drink" is appropriate. (Would you like some sugar with your chocolate?)

So what Starbucks is doing with this is breaking down the last bit of resolve that the remaining 0.003% of Americans who haven't converted to the Church of Starbucks of Latter day Perks. They're seducing customers via sweet tooth. While they sell teas and juice, this virtually renders the Starbucks-phobic's excuse of "I don't drink coffee" irrelevant. It's almost brilliant. "If we can't get you hooked using our caffeine-laced drip, we're gonna snag you with our hot chocolate sugar bomb." The already devout won't give up coffee but will turn to this stuff when they frequent the place during non-morning hours. You know, for when the caffiene buzz just isn't enough so you need to enhance it with a sugar rush.

It's Starbuck's world and we're just living in it, sucking on her teats for sustenance.

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 10:42 PM [+] :: | 0 comments
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