:: Life on Planet Dan-E ::

Thoughts, observations, and introspections from an art student waiter/bartender in South Beach. Arcane humor ensues.
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:: Friday, October 13, 2006 ::

:: I Really Need to Watch what I Eat ::
The Girlfriend often makes gestures about baking things for me: cake, cookies, muffins, etc. but so far she's only cooked for me, which is cool since her food is good and I don't need to be eating that waistline-expanding, sugary crap anyway. That isn't to say that I don't eat that crap because if I get home from work tired and hungry - which is pretty much all the time - I usually reach for whatever's in front of the fridge. (Coincidentally, or perhaps not, my beer is usually what's in front of the fridge.)

A couple of weeks ago, I opened the fridge and saw a couple of packages of brownies in there. I opened it up and tored off a square, and bit into it. My first thought: "they hell kinda brownies are these?!" The texture was very gritty and doughy and it dispersed in my mouth the same way a slice of Kraft Singles would do when you eat those by themselves (you know what I'm talking about. Of course you do. You're lying.) Naturally, I finish it off anyway, after which I decide perhaps I should make myself something with a little more sustainance for dinner.

I asked The Girlfriend about those brownies the next day - I believe my exact words were "babe, those brownies in fridge totally suck" - to which she replied, "what brownies?"

"The new ones? In the blue package?"

"Oh that? That's ready-to-bake cookie dough."

(Pause) "That's... really?"

"Yeah. You didn't try to eat that did you?"

While I didn't say anything, my facial expression, whatever it may have been, answered for me. I know this because she started laughing hysterically.

"You really do eat everything."

(Sheepishly) "Shut up."

"You're such a dork."

"Shut up."

Later that night I take a closer look at the package. Sure enough, Pillsbury Ready to Bake Triple Chocolate Cookie Dough. I'm pretty sure that when they told us that we have to "watch what you eat," they weren't aware of that glitch.

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 2:06 AM [+] :: | 0 comments

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