:: Life on Planet Dan-E ::

Thoughts, observations, and introspections from an art student waiter/bartender in South Beach. Arcane humor ensues.
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:: Tuesday, July 11, 2006 ::

:: Redecorating ::
I've lived in the same apartment since I've moved to Miami Beach almost three years ago. My place has been pretty much the same since then; the only changes it's gone through is some additional furniture and a few posters on the wall. I only did one major rearrangement of my place and that's only because I discovered my place to be a complete disaster area when I returned from Prague because the guy who sublet my place was raised by trolls. (I found out later he's from Sacramento, which is pretty much the same thing.)

Since intruding entering my life in early January, The Girlfriend, who apparently thinks she has a superior sense of interior decoration (quite possibly because she does) has already rearranged my entire apartment.

Three times.

The first time was ok. Apparently, I'm a super slob since the rearranging also included a thorough cleaning of my place (you feminista readers out there should know that I was perfectly happy with my place and absolutely none of this was my idea. I even tried to stop her, but once she gets her mind on something, she tends to get her way.) The first time was ok since she somehow made my place feel a little roomier and airier. Or, according to her words, "no longer dark, dank, and disgusting." It seems she also likes alliteration.

As it turns out, she gets bored easily so it wasn't long before she felt the need to do another redecoration. This included the temporary addition of some furniture that she's going to use once she moves into her own place. I didn't like it as much overall (although she somehow turned the TV stand into a dining table, which was pretty cool) since I felt like her crap was barging into my space. She made a few changes (I helped. A little) and things were ok. It also helped that whatever she did, my place didn't have that weird smell anymore. I wonder what that was.

Now, she's changed it yet again and this time it's so much better. Her furniture isn't intrusive (even though she has all her crap in my closet, effectively taking up roughly 87% of my closet space, not that I was in there that much anyway - and please, no "so you're out of the closet?" jokes. It's puerile and banal. And no "banal" spawns "anal" jokes either because... oh, never mind) and the place smells better. Or rather, doesn't seem to smell al all.

The only thing that I miss is that I don't really have a good place for my "old clothes pile." That's a designated spot where I toss my old clothes when I come home. These are clothes that I can usually wear again without washing (jeans, shorts, some t-shirts, my work clothes) as long as they pass the Sniff Test. Again, The Girlfriend didn't care for this habit (the word "disgusting" may come up again). It's one thing I'll stand firm on, though. Look, I'm a guy. And most guys (at least those that aren't gay or metrosexual, which are pretty much gay-guys-in-training) are going to have a few habits that girls find gross. And compared to what I've heard, mine are relatively benign.

Of course if you were to ask her, she'd say I'm just another "dirty, stinky, boy" and that's partly why the Fung Shui adjustment included some rather stern attempts at behavior modification. Some lessons got through (I learned I'm supposed to completely dry off - including my feet - before stepping out of the shower. I honestly thought that was what the bathroom mat was for), while other lessons didn't (ask any guy, the toilet is a great place to get some reading done and it's very normal to be in there ten minutes or longer.)

Still, we're both pretty happy with the way it is now (well, I am. She may be feeling stir crazy again). And considering how much time she spends here, I'm more than happy to make a concession or two towards her comfort (read: whipped) without feeling like she's emasculating my manly bachelor pad (she may have me by the nuts but at least they're still attached to my body).

Did I mention that we've been together six months? What a fun ride it's been.

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 12:08 AM [+] :: | 0 comments

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