:: Life on Planet Dan-E ::

Thoughts, observations, and introspections from an art student waiter/bartender in South Beach. Arcane humor ensues.
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:: Thursday, June 22, 2006 ::

:: Server Tales V: A very Blonde Moment ::
It was the tail end of a very slow lunch shift and the few of us working just wanted the place to close so we could take our break and grab some lunch. About an hour before closing an older gentleman and a young blonde come in and take a seat. It's too early to say we're closed so I put on my best fake smile and tell them to sit anywhere they want (there's only two other tables taken at the moment).

They're friendly enough; the blonde orders the tilapia and the guy gets the Shrimp Scampi and they share a bottle of wine. I drop off their food, they ooh and ahh and dig in. I check back a few minutes later to see if they like everything and this happens:

Me: So how is everything?

Blonde: There's, like, a hair in my fish

My first thought is "oh shit." Then I look at her plate. I don't see anything.

M: Oh, sorry about that. If you want... umm... uhh... can you show me the hair?

B: It's right here. (She points to a spot on her fish.)

M: I don't... I don't see it.

She picks up the offending hair with her fork so I can see it. "See?" It's very long.

It's very blonde.

There's only two other guys working during that lunch. Our bartender Nick, is a Latin guy with black hair. Our cook Lee, is a Chinese guy also with short black hair with a lot of grey. And there's me with long hair but it's almost black. I'm racking my brain trying to think of a way to tactfully tell her that the intruding hair is, in fact, hers.

M: Ummm miss, I'm not trying to be difficult but that hair isn't from the kitchen.

B: What do you mean? Where else could it be from?

I see the guy suddenly put his head down, either from shame or he's trying to suppress laughter. I'm not sure which. It's at this point I realize I probably should have just apologized and offered to replace her fish with a new one but that line was crossed eons ago.

M: Well, that hair is long and rather, umm, light and... well... look at our chef.

She looks at her plate and then over to the kitchen. A half second passes - but it feels like hours - and she finally puts two and two together.

B: Oh! (She starts to giggle in that quintessential ditzy blonde manner). Ohmigawd you must think I'm, like, sooo stupid!

M: (Thinking) You have no idea. (Actual reply) It could happen to anyone miss, no big deal. If you want I can get your another fish.

B: No, it's ok this one is fine. Thanks!

Me: (Smiling) Enjoy your lunch.

I look over to the guy. His head is still down, his hand is covering his face and his head is shaking. I almost feel bad for him. Almost.

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 12:25 AM [+] :: | 0 comments

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