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:: Saturday, December 24, 2005 ::

:: Week 16 Picks ::
So my first official day of work starts Monday, which is cool since I can relax over the weekend in front of the tube and football all day! All weekend!

St. Louis over Frisco:
So there's talk now that Heisman Trophy winner Reggie Bush might actually stay one more year in college? Don't you dare. Don't you fucking dare. Don't even do that to me. Rams Suck.

Miami over Tennessee:
I can't believe just how bad the Dolphins looked in the first half against the Jets and just how good they looked in the second. Last week's game is so indicative of their season in that it's more schizoid than Kirstie Alley at a buffet.

New Orleans over Detroit:
Things are so bad in the Motor City that Lions fans arrived at last week's game in Bengals Orange shirts and openly calling for the firing of General Manager Matt Millen. And I thought fans in Philly were tough. At least they still have hockey.

Tampa Bay over Atlanta:
Apparently, mom was right. The Bucs were trounced so badly last week that coach John Gruden's face actually stayed that way for a good four days after the game.

Redskins over Giants:
I can't think of anything to write about this game so I gotta ask, is it weird in here or is it just me?

Carolina over Dallas:
Suck it Cowboys.

Houston over Jacksonville:
I can't believe the Jags almost lost my to 49ers last week. They play good teams really tough but they always manage to play down to the level of the inferior teams. I don't care how many injuries they have, there's no way they should have won by only one point last week. That's like me going up to umm... uhh... sorry, my similie well is dry tonight.

Cincy over Buffalo:
I'm gonna watch this game just because I'm morbidly curious as to what Chad Johnson's touchdown celebration involving a deer is going to look like. I want to see him drag out a grill and roast some venison for the fans in the front row.

Pittsburg over Cleveland:
Since I can't think of anything to say about this game either, there's a gay dude at my restaurant. Is it just me or is everyone other guy named "Chad" gay?

San Diego over Kansas City:
My instincts actually told me to pick the Charger over the Colts last week but something held me back. I think it's because I'm a dumbass.

Philly over Arizona:

Colts over Seattle:
Am I the only one who thinks that whole "let's win this one for Tony" is gonna carry this team this week? Does anyone really think Seattle is that good? They play in the single worst division in all of football! And if it wasn't for Jay Feeley's gimp leg, they'd have lost that game, too. Sure they're good but they're more overrated than Johnny Damon's bloated stats.

Denver over Oakland:
I don't care.

Chicago over Green Bay:
I previously wrote that the Bears should keep Kyle Orton over Rex Grossman. I wrote that Brett Favre could take a mediocre team and guide them to the playoffs. I also thought that once I lost all that weight, I'd be a total lady's man. I'm clearly the funniest blogger on the planet.

Minnesota over Baltimore:
Kyle Boeller? Meet bench. Bench? This is Kyle. (What is it with sucky QBs named Kyle anyway?)

New England over Jets:
At least the girls in Boston still have Tom Brady to drool over.

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 1:29 AM [+] :: | 0 comments

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