:: Life on Planet Dan-E ::

:: Friday, November 04, 2005 ::

:: Week 9 Picks ::

It's already past the halfway point of this season and other than a few surprises, it's been a relatively mellow season so far. But shoot, it's Football!

Colts over Patriots:
I'm breaking tradition by starting with the MNF game first just because this might the most compelling regular season game in a few years. As good as the Colts have been the last few years, Peyton Manning hasn't beat them in four years. In a fitting bit of irony, New England has become the Yankees and Indy is Boston. They may be 7-0, Pats could somehow lose a playoff spot and Manning finally gets a Ring, but the thoughts coming from Indy are that it's a hallow victory if they can't beat Tom Brady and the Patriots.

Manning finally realized passing records and MVP trophies don't always get you Super Bowl victories. Tony Dungy finally has a defense close to what he's always wanted, and they're going up against a very beat-up Patriots team. While Bruschi's return was inspiring, last year's team wouldn't have allowed all those rushing yards last week. And yet, it will be very, very foolish to count out Brady and Bill Belichick. You know where I'll be Monday night.

Falcons over Dolphins:
As long as Mike Vick tries to win all those games with his legs, Atlanta will never be a Super Bowl team. That being said, they'll still be able to beat up on the consistently erratic and mediocre teams like the Dolphins. Seriously, they rack up almost 200 yards rushing and they still lose? To the SAINTS? On top of the Florida's college teams aren't the dominating forces they once were. Miami residents everywhere weep.

Detroit over Vikings:
Coach Tice trying to say the Vikings will be ok with Brad Johnson at QB because he's won a Super Bowl is like saying the Browns will be playoff contenders because Trent Dilfer won a Super Bowl. Also, since Jeff Garcia is hurt again, there are rumors of Joey Harrington starting. So when a team with a crappy defense and a crappy QB plays against a team with a crappy defense and crappy QB you... uhh... flip a coin.

Charger over Jets:
One glaring fact that should tell you all you need to know about this game: Chargers halfback LaDanian Tomlinson has as many TD passes (3) as every QB that's ever started for the Jets this season.

Jaguars over Texans:
While the Jags should be a lot better, they haven't lost two in a row this season and look for Taylor to go nuts against the Texans' defense. As long as we're on that, who the hell decided on "Texans" as a good team name? That's as retarded as names like the Montreal Canadians, Vancouver Canucks, and The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, California. No, I won't drop it.

Bengals over Ravens:
Other than Big Ben, Hines Ward, and The Bus, Pittsburg looked like they phoned it in last week. At least that's my theory since there's no way that Baltimore should have been in it that late. If they had problems containing Ward so just imagine what Chad Johnson might be able to do. I say "might" because while Johnson may be a better pure receiver, you put those two in a cage match Ward is gonna treat Johnson like a longhaired prison bitch.

Titans over Browns:
Cleveland trying to say they're ok With Trent Dilfer because he won a Super Bowl... wait, I already did that bit... Dilfer may have won a Super Bowl riding a Jamal Lewis' back but highly underrated and underappreciated QB Steve McNair has been to the Super Bowl by actually being a good QB running a balanced offense. Sure he had Eddie George but comparing the two is like saying Pearl Jam is better than Nirvana just because they have an extra guitar player. (I like them both, calm down). Ok, it's nothing like that but you get what I'm saying.

Panthers over Bucs:
I really wanted to see last week's Bucs game, not just because my Niners won but also to see just how many Chucky faces John Gruden could contort in one quarter. I have a feeling we're gonna see Tim Rattay in this game and while he's a very good backup, they're clearly missing Brian Griese. And there's a sentence I never thought I'd write.

Chiefs over Raiders:
Did I miss it? Has Dick Vermeil cried yet this season?

Bears over Saints:
Talk about misleading. Romeo Crenell is gloriously overachieving with this year's squad to an 8-8 or even 9-7 finish. Which only means that next year, when they get Rex Grossman back and start underachieving, Chicago sports guys are gonna be calling for his firing.

Seahawks over Cardinals:
Not only does the Nature Theory work here, but I'm also pretty sure if a flock of Seahawks attacked a group of cardinals congregating outside their church, the cardinals would easily start scrambling for cover. If you think that analogy is out of left field, bear in mind the Kurt Warner is starting this week.

Giants over 49ers:
Apparently, the 49ers' starting QB is a former rodeo cowboy. So after dealing with bucking horses and pissed off bulls, facing a pass rush from Michael Strahan might be a roll in the hay. Might be. And while I don't really have anything against the New York Giants, it'll be fun to root against them and pretend it's a Dodgers game. No, I don't miss baseball. Why?

Steelers over Green Bay:
Big Ben is down for a couple of weeks due to surgery on his knee, and coaches are pondering taking a lead pipe to Tommy Maddox's knees just to be sure he won't enter the game this week. Despite my crack about him a few weeks ago, Charlie Batch wasn't really that bad as a starting QB in Detroit. And he certainly won't be as bad as Maddox.

Redskins over Eagles:
Terrell Owens is:
a. A petulant, self-absorbed, giant douche of a player that's overstayed his welcome.
b. A petulant, self-absorbed, turd sandwich of a player that's overstayed his welcome.

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 6:38 PM [+] :: | 0 comments
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