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:: Monday, November 28, 2005 ::

:: Week 12 Recap ::
A few thoughts from the Thanksgiving Weekend football games:

- The Detroit Lions finally enjoyed a Sunday where their team didn't lose.

- Steve Mariucci being fired for the Lions' dismal season is like blaming everything on George Clooney for "Batman and Robin."

- I felt conflicted about picking my 49ers to beat the Titans since it probably meant we're out of the Reggie Bush sweepstakes. Thanks once again for showing how a shameless homer can overestimate your team's talent. Don't EVEN think about winning another game. To quote Darth Vader in "Return of the Jedi," "there is no conflict."

- Ryan who? Harvard? What? Well gee, I hope this doesn't get into the heads of Harvard grads, since we know how they're all such a humble bunch.

- I really, really, REALLY wanted to make Jay Feeley jokes along the lines of "three strikes you're out," "he's now buried next to Jimmy Hoffa," "I guess he wasn't 'Feeley-ng' it," or (help me) "he must be kicking himself" but the man has suffered enough.

- On a note completely unrelated to football, did you guys know that Pat Morita actually garnered an Oscar nomination for this role as Mr. Miyagi in "Karate Kid?" And given my fondness for saying "you're dead to me," I sometimes wonder if the etymology of that phrase is from "Karate Kid II" where the villan dude takes hostage of Daniel-san's love interest and tells his uncle something like "I am dead to you, remember?" I don't know what's sadder, that I actually remember that scene or simply acknowledging the fact that I even watched "Karate Kid II."

- Lovie Smith is setting himself up for failure. Hear me out: while his defense is spectacular, he has just enough to go one-and-done in the playoffs, setting up unrealistic expectations for next year, where anything less than a NFC championship will be considered a failure.

- Chad Johnson's golf shot imitation was ironically, a better shot than what Tiger Woods could muster all day.

- I feel almost heretical typing this, but I want Apple to stop running those iPod video commercials featuring Bono during football games. It might be tolerable if they showed him singing one of their good songs but also, in this day and age of portable DVD players, does anyone really want a little 2.5" screen?

- Tom Brady should be sent over to the Middle East to overthrow the terrorists, which would be easy for him given the way he overthrew his receivers on Sunday.

- Not to belabor the point about my Frisco 49ers sucking but even though this season is a failure, it's still an improvement over last season's abject failure.

- New Orleans has a built-in excuse for losing all these games; hurricane Katrina, "home" games played to two locations nowhere near home, losing their best offensive player, coaches and players who desperately need a new environment. Hey Houston? What the hell is your excuse?

- Speaking of the Houston game, if there's a circle of hell reserved for the lowest possible scum of humanity (Bundy, lawyers, Hitler, militant vegans), there has to be one just below that for the St. Louis Rams. Just above the circle for the SanFran Giants. I'm not bitter.

- Over the weekend, former Dallas Cowboys wideout Michael Irvin was caught with a crack pipe in his car. His excuse was the hackneyed "it belonged to a friend" line. If that's the case, to any future girlfriends; if I'm ever caught with a pair of panties in my car, I just want you to know that they belong to a friend.

- Is there any truth to rumor that Chiefs coach Dick Vermeil cried at the end of "Mr. and Mrs. Smith?" (Look, they can't all be funny.)

- Let's say that the Vikings somehow salvage this season with a Wild-card spot in the playoffs. What are the odds that the celebration is going to take place on dry land?

- Terrell Owens is (still) a giant douche.

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 11:22 PM [+] :: | 0 comments

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