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:: Saturday, November 12, 2005 ::

:: Week 10 Picks (And news about Eve and Tennis Girl Mixed in) ::
Just a few (hah!) thoughts before I head into this week's picks. A friend of mine mentioned to me the other day how it's kinda funny go into Rant Mode every time I talk about Terrell Owens. Well yeah. I've had to deal with his schizoid crap while he played for my 49ers. I clearly remember one game in 2002 where despite putting up otherwise decent stats, he dropped 4 (FOUR!) passes. Three of them would have been for First Downs and a couple of them were passes that landed right in his hands.

In a playoff game against Tampa Bay, the box score may show that Jeff Garcia threw a few INTs but it doesn't show that one of those picks was a tipped ball. It was short yardage slant rout that had it been caught, would have been First Down and put the Niners in field goal range. It wasn't thrown hard, right about chest level and he didn't have to reach for it. Owens was more concerned about the approaching safety instead of keeping his eye on the ball. He bobbled it, turnover, first down Tampa.

At last year's Super Bowl, in another calculated publicity stunt, Owens kept everyone guess as to whether he'd play after breaking his ankle. He played. He played bravely 9over 100 yards receiving) and the Eagles lost badly. During his postgame conference, he went on this self-aggrandizing spiel about how he should be lauded for playing hurt (on an injury that hockey players would mercilessly mock). Never mind that he caught zero (ZERO) touchdowns. He was WAY too upbeat for a guy that just lost the Super Bowl. A true teammate would have said how he was hoping to help but it was for naught since they lost the game. They would have downplayed what was an impressive showing despite being hobbled and focusing instead on picking up his teammates and congratulating the other team for playing better that day. It surprised me how no one in the sports media bothered to point this out.

Sure he puts up gaudy stats during the regular season but he doesn't make a lot of game-turning plays. A lot of his TDs happen when his team is comfortably ahead. He's football's Alex Rodriguez.

Anyway, rant over (and this is the shortened version). On to the picks.

Patriots over Dolphins:
All those years that people didn't think the Pats could go all the way, this might be yet another year they're proven wrong. They have a pretty easy 2nd half schedule and the rest of that division is weaker than Chad Pennington's arm. NE just might be able to get into the playoffs with nine wins and once there, like going to a casino at 2am while completely drunk, anything can happen.

Giants over Vikings:
Everything I've read about recently deceased Giants owner Wellington Mara was that he one of the few pro sports team owners that ran a steady, loyal ship. He preferred to stay out of the limelight and let the players do the talking (you paying attention Mr. Steinbrenner?) The Giants look like they're on a roll and that whole "let's win one for Welly" thing could take off.

Jaguars over Rams:
It doesn't say much for a team known for its defense when the defensive squad performs better despite not have its two stars, Ray Lewis and Ed Reed. Jamal Lewis is killing their running game as well as every fantasy team that he's on. I don't wanna say things are bleak but they're at the point where they're looking to Kyle Boller to spark the offense.

Chiefs over Bills:
I love that gutsy call by Dick Vermiel last week, going for six instead of settling for a field goal (are you paying attention Coach Schottenheimer?). And since I can't think of anything clever to say about this game, I'm gonna invoke the Nature Theory because way back when, Indians did kill them a lotta buffalo.

Bears over 49ers:
You guys see Brandon Lloyd's awesome one-handed, behind his head catch last week? Oh right, it was called back. Shit. This is how bad the QB situation is in SanFran: current starter Cody Pickett was signed on as insurance and was often used on special teams. Despite showing flashes of not sucking, they went and signed career backup Jesse Palmer, who's biggest claim to fame is that he was once the star of "The Bachelor."

Cardinals over Lions:
Even the Nature theory works here. You know in the last minutes of "The Lion King" where uncle Scar is surrounded by and attacked by hyenas? Remember how pathetic he looked? It's like that, but worse. Also, I call the third quarter for when Dennis Green wakes up and puts Josh McCown back in.

Colts over Texans:
It's not even gonna be close.

Broncos over Raiders:
I don't know if its that beard but Jake Plummer has been playing remarkably like (brace yourself) Tom Brady. He hasn't made any huge comebacks yet but it's been impressive the way he manages the game and limits mistakes. So naturally, I'm now predicting a second half meltdown where we see him toss at least two INTs a game like the Jake of old. Speaking of meltdowns, every time I see Randy Moss, he looks more sullen than a German model after a coke binge.

Panthers over Jets:
Imagine Charlize Theron in a magazine spread. Now picture her when she went ugly for her role in "Monster." Remember thinking to yourself "how the hell is that same person?" That has to be the same thought every guy had upon seeing the two Panther's cheerleader's mugshots after ogling over their profiles on the Carolina website. Like Charlize in "Monster" we never, ever want to see that happen again. This is my last cheerleader joke. I promise. Unless that Penthouse thing goes through and then everything is fair game but... anyway.

Seahawks over Rams:
Since I hate both these teams I'm gonna digress and talk about Tennis Girl for a moment. She's one of these workout freaks that I simultaneously hate and envy. We were talking while driving over to the courts and she told me that she goes running every day (!) as well as being a total gym rat. She plays pretty good tennis but I wasn't worried about being outplayed. My concern was being outlasted since I played beach volleyball this morning. I mean, the last time I went running every day was.. okay I never did that.

Most guys try to elevate their game if a cute girl is around but they revert back to weekend hack mode once she walks by. Well, TG wasn't going anywhere so I had to somehow maintain my A++ game for at least a couple of hours. I was ok at first but hour two got a little tougher since my leg started cramping (I sweat buckets). She asked if I was fine but there was no way I was going stop after a measly hour fifteen. Hour two started approaching and I think we were both wearing down but neither of us said anything, turning this into a battle of wills. At the 2:15 mark, I had to quit since my legs were just gone. I told her she won this round. 'cuz I'm a sweet like that =P

I tend to be a little picky about my practice partners and she's pretty good, so we made plans for next week. As it turns out she's fun to talk to as well so there might be a round of pool or a movie in there. Stay tuned.

Redskins over Buccaneers:
Oh by the way, if you're wondering about Eve, I've been maintaining contact with her but she's been busy as well as ill, and I've had plans (heehee). Once she gets better and things settle down, we'll hook up.

Oh, and I found out she'll be using her Master's Degree in Communication to try to get her "dream job." That being a Buyer for Macy's. I wished her luck on her interview, hung up the phone, and thought to myself, "Geez, I might end up dating Rachel."

Falcons over Packers:
Hey Mikey, let's see a 3000 yard, 22 TD season before you run your mouth about proving your doubters wrong. As far as most people outside of Atlanta are concerned, you're the best running back in the East.

Steelers over Browns:
Starting QB Charlie Batch looked rustier than me trying to pick up a chick at a nightclub and the only available starting RB is Duce Staley. Normally this would be bad except they're going up against Cleveland and Trent Dilfer. Now, I don't think he's as bad as people think he is but I can't call him a "Super Bowl Winning QB" without bursting into laughter. And it might seem incongruous to make "Dan-E sucks at dating" jokes after having just mentioned Eve and TG but I think it's funny and it?s my blog dammit.

Eagles over Cowboys:
What does it mean when I pick Philly to win despite not playing T.O. and having a subpar running game? It means I'm a petty, vindictive bastard who thrives on the misery of people who I think are asswipes. I would love to see the Igles prove they don't need Owens to win. But yet, if the world was fair, Philly would have waited one week to suspend him just for the matchup of Ownes versus the brutal Dallas safety Roy Williams. Not only does he hit so hard that the NFL instilled a new rule to prevent the "horse collar tackle" that he perfected, he's the dude that broke Owens' ankle last year. For that he'll always have a special place in my... maybe not my heart but... oh hell. I love him.

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 6:59 PM [+] :: | 0 comments

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