:: Life on Planet Dan-E ::

:: Friday, September 23, 2005 ::

:: Week 3 Football Picks ::

Now that I have a little time, I'm gonna try doing a weekly "NFL picks" every Friday (or Wednesday is there's a Thursday game). While I didn't post it, I gave it a shot last week and came out ok at 9-7. Here's how I'm predicting this weekend's outcomes:

Bill over Falcons
Good: The Bills' defense. Bad: Michael Vick playing with sore hamstring. Worse: Michael Vick being forced to stay back and actually throw the ball.

Bears over Bengals
Not just because I think a bear would kill a tiger in real life but after the way they pulled the mat out from under Detroit's supposed breakout year, I think they have a pretty good shot at not embarrassing themselves this year. And let's try to remember that Carson Palmer, as good as he's been, is only in his second year and is subject to growing pains, especially against a good defense. (Not only that, he's a USC alum and let's face it, Trojans sometimes break. So I heard.)

Bucs over Packers
This game isn't so much about whether or not Brett Favre can somehow manage a season as much as it's about which of coaches named "Mike" is gonna get canned first. If I was betting man, I'd pick Mike Tice of Minnesota as the first one out, Mike Holmgren of Seattle second, and Green Bayå?s Mike Sherman third.

Colts over Browns
Trent Dilfer's reputation as one of the game's classy good guys notwithstanding, does anyone else think he might have been gloating just a little bit after last week's 300+ yard performance? That was his "I was and still can be a starting QB in this league and if you donå?t think so I have Super Bowl ring and you don't" performance. To which Peyton Manning, after passing for 250 yard and 3 touchdowns - in the first half - is gonna reply "shuffle passes to Jamal Lewis doesn't really count dude. My retarded kid brother could have done that."

Rams over Titans:
Titans are young and hungry and the Rams are old and complacent. Mark Bulger is looking kinda like a post-Super Bowl Kurt Warner at the moment and Mike Martz is too busy admiring his legacy in the mirror. But as much as I hate to admit it, the Rams offense will give the Titans inexperienced youth a beatdown.

Panthers over Dolphins
Let's see now, Panthers just beat last year's Super Bowl champs convincingly despite erratic play from Jake Delhomme. The Dolphins on the other hand: okay defense, no running game, and Ricky is still out. Who are they gonna fall back on, Gus Ferotte? Please. And just so someone finally says it, nobody gives a crap about Ricky anymore. Move along.

Saints over Vikings
The boys from N'awlins are exhausted, displaced and homesick, but more important, they're pissed. Last week was a very winnable game for them and they lost it thanks to sloppy play. On the other hand, Dante Culpepper, after screwing over countless fantasy team owners might finally rebound with good game. Remember, QBs can still put up good fantasy stats when putting up 27 points in a losing effort.

Jaguars over Jets
During my East Coast baseball park tour last year, I tried my hand at a few speedpitch booths just for fun. My "fastball" topped out at 61 miles per hour. For some perspective, even mediocre Major League Pitchers throw 90. The point of that story being, after watching Chad Pennington play the last two weeks, I've seen harder throws from drunk British guys throwing darts.

Eagles over Raiders:
The highly touted wide receiver matchup of the week has the semi-reformed reefer vs. the petulant bitch. You couldn't ask for a better Battle of the Divas if you put Diana Ross and Mariah Carey in a steel cage. (Except maybe a pre-wedding Brittany Spears and Lindsey Lohan in a tub filled with cheese grits. Not because it'd be sexy but it would give people who enjoy watching a Tonya Harding boxing match something to look down on. Where was I? Oh, right.) Raiders might score early but the Igles will pull it out since Oakland canå?t seem to get out of their own way.

49ers over Dallas
Not only did I pick my Niners to win the last two games, I'm also picking them to not just beat but pummel the Cowboys this week because:
1. I'm a shameless homer
2. I'm delusional
3. Drew Bledsoe to Keyshawn Johnson?
4. Julian Peterson, defensive stud, and the best player on the team went on record guaranteeing a win and that's good enough for me.
5. I'm delusional

Cardinals over Seahawks
Both these teams are division rivals to my guys and unfortunately, only one team can lose.

Steelers over Patriots
This might raise some eyebrows (assuming there's actually people from New England who are reading this) and honestly, I'm not anti-Patriots. But, as lackadaisical as Corey Dillon looked and as confused Brady looked at times the first two weeks, I just don't think that they can magically turn it back on in one week. And as good as the Pat's defense has been trying to replace Teddy Bruschi, they're not the same when it comes to stopping the run, Even if they hold Willie Parker to, say, 80 yards, they still have to deal with Big Ben (I'm not even gonna try to spell his last name) throwing to Hines Ward and Antoine Randall El. And the big guy just doesn't make many mistakes.

Chargers over Giants
The Chargers should be 2-0 right now and believe me, the guys on offense, especially Brees and Tomlinson, are fuming over their underachievement. And the fact that Eli Manning is finally coming to play in the city he so famously shunned in the draft only adds to the Charger's desire to bust some heads. That is, once they're done scarfing down in fish tacos.

Chiefs over Broncos
Speaking of Mikes on the Bubble, Shanahan is gonna have Ron Dayne up against Priest Holmes of Kansas City. Also, there's error-prone Jake Plummer trying to win two tough games in a row, especially against the much-improved Chiefs defense. A bit much to ask isn't it? I'm just saying.

There you have it. I'll post my results on Monday and see how I did.

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 8:01 PM [+] :: | 0 comments
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