:: Life on Planet Dan-E ::

Thoughts, observations, and introspections from an ~~art student~~ waiter/bartender in South Beach. Arcane humor ensues.

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:: Thursday, April 24, 2003 ::

It seems O. J. Simpson is back in the news. (No, he didn't kill someone else. Yet.) A friend told me earlier today that he's the star of an "Osbournes" style reality show that is currently being developed and filmed. Holy crap. Are TV show producers really this desperate for ratings? Has it become that difficult to develop an original, scripted show? Then again, some of the ideas for the title and premise of this latest reality series is amusing:

"Joe Wife Beater" - Women vie for the affection of a rich guy who seems to have a history of spousal abuse only to discover that he doesn't beat them, he merely slashes their throats.

"Who wants to Marry a Multiple Murderer?" - OJ gets to pick and kill more that one gold-digging woman with a death wish.

"Survivor: Brentwood" - No voting off the island or any crap like that. Your goal is simply to make it out of OJ's mansion without getting stabbed. Teamwork optional.

"Who wants to be a Murder Victim?" - Contestants try to answer correctly as many questions as possible asked by host OJ. Person with the fewest correct answers gets cut. Literally

"Are you Dead?" - See celebrity judge OJ decide which male and female contestant would make the most attractive chalk outline.

"American Idol Worship" - See a once-beloved sports celebrity eventually develop a Messianic complex and sink deeper and deeper into self-aggrandizing delusion as the constant adoration from fans lure him into thinking he can get away with murder.

"America's Most Wanted" - He makes a guest appearance on this long running program documenting his meticulous search for his wife's real killer one golf course at a time.

"Jackass" - I know it's already taken but it seems appropriate.

Geez, it's been how many years since the event and I'm making OJ jokes? Don't ever say I don't recycle. However, remember the timestamp on this post so in the off chance you hear any of this crap on Conan or Leno, you can say you saw it here first.

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 1:16 AM [+] :: | 0 comments
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