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Thoughts, observations, and introspections from an art student waiter/bartender in South Beach. Arcane humor ensues.
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:: Wednesday, February 19, 2003 ::

As if I needed more convincing, I continue to see evidence that some of these animal-rights activists have completely lost touch with reality. What am I babbling about? I'm sure most of you have seen the latest Quizno's commercial which portrays a chef whose so overtly focused on making sandwiches that he's shown cooking while not wearing pants. This commercial has drawn the ire of animal-rights people because it shows the chef's neglected parakeet laying dead on the bottom of its cage.

It seems that the biggest complaint is that the commercial is only 30 seconds long.

Oh wait, I already used that punchline for the Miller commercial. (I love that joke can I tell you? Jan. 16th if you haven't read it) Oh don't have a "cow", you guys know how much I love to "milk" a joke for all it's worth. Can't believe I "udder-ed" that? If I keep it up my readers are gonna have a real "beef" with this. That's no "bull." Ok, ok, moo-ving on.

(Don't you love how I can throw in a completely different punchline after a totally unrelated buildup?)

What was I saying? Oh yeah the Quizno's commercial. Now I can understand one being offended if a commercial showed a cook chopping the head off a bird and stuffing its still-writhing corpse into a loaf of bread because that is rather crude (I mean, can you imagine the poor customers having the pick out the feathers from their teeth?) but we're talking about a dead parakeet and a fake one at that. Now wouldn't the real concern be that your lunch is being made by a guy not wearing pants? HELLO?! Envision what that would be like if that were to actually happen:

Cook: Would you like mayo on your sanwich?
Customer: Oh HELL NO.

Come on you animal lovers. Get back down here with the rest of us earthlings.

As long as we're on the subject, I should mention that I've seen literature that uses some questionable statistics as a method of trying to sway carnivores into adopting the vegan lifestyle. The most memorable one was a factoid that says the gross weight of all the cows on planet earth is greater than the gross weight of all the humans. Really? All that tells me is that we need to eat more cows.

:: Miscellaneous Ramblings by Dan-E at 9:49 PM [+] :: | 0 comments
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